What's your childcare set up for your 12+ aged children?

[Turfwars]

Just curious as to how others have sorted it - DS is 11 and hates the local village creche. It's fine, he's just bored being surrounded by younger kids and often he's the eldest there. He does wraparound 3 days a week there.

Looking forward to the teen years, I'm looking for ideas. In a year he'll be too old for creche. But at 12 or 13 he's still too young to get off a bus, let himself in and be on his own for 4 or so hrs until one of us gets home. If he had siblings, it might work but he's an only - that's a lot of time alone for a kid that age.

I wfh 2 days. Those days there is no problem with popping out for the school run, work are fine with that. But there are some of those days where I'd have to go to the office to provide AL cover for others.

DH is job hunting at the moment after redundancy so we dont' know what kind of job he might land - if it's got a wfh element to it, that's the ideal. But if he did get office only or a job that involves travelling, that's where I need creative solutions.

So what ages are your kids, what work set up do you have and what genius solution did you come up with?

My DD is Year 7 so in her first year of secondary here in England. Her primary did not allow Year 5 and Year 6 to leave at home time without an adult and grandparents were too elderly and ill to help, childminder seemed silly for that age. So when we went back to the office one day per week I put her into after school club. She was not impressed but there were other Year 6s in there due to parents being in the same situation as me. I also tried to encourage after school clubs to get a longer day.

Now in Year 7 she gets the bus home and let's herself in the house. Some days I am not here but she gets the bus with her friend who often comes here. It's not an official arrangement though - some times she is on her own. We keep in touch on WhatsApp (I'm on the bus, okay there's xxxx in the fridge for you, I'm home now kind of exchanges.) Also we link our phones so that can be tracked so I can see if she's home, but she's really good at sending me messages so rarely need that. Technology may help you when the time comes?

Coming back to this thread I think I've found a solution for the summer at least.

A good friend of mine with a DS the same age (they are best friends actually) does three days WFH on the days I'm in the office, and is in the office the two days I WFH.

So we are happy to help each other out over the summer and see how it works. Plus the boys are company for each other while we WFH. While she's doing three days, I pick up a third by bringing them to an activity every Saturday morning so we are roughly evens.

We've a local night out over the summer so I'll mention it to the other mums, it's quite possible that some are in a similar situation who might be interested in joining our communal childcare rota.

That sounds like a great solution, win-win for everyone!

Reading these comments gives me so much anxiety. We are from SA and we would never ever leave our children home alone or make their own way home from school until they are at least 16! And that’s only in severe cases. If you only knew what can happen to young children! I’m still trying to figure out what I will do with my 11 year old but I’m definitely not leaving him home alone!

At 11 I travelled to and from school by train, and walked a mile home from the station. It was no problem. I had a key, let myself in, made a jam sandwich and got on with my homework. It was fine. My dm rehearsed with me what to do in various emergencies, and there was a phone (but no mobiles).

I can understand your dc being fed up at 11. That must be absolutely suffocating. Your dc is growing up. You are treating them like a baby.

He should be able to travel home on the bus.

I would find some after school activities he could join sond days a week.

What time are you home? What time is he off school? It sounds late?

What about tea and homework?

I wouldn't let my 12 year old walk home alone or leave him home alone if I lived in South Africa either!

@Springbokmommy "Reading these comments gives me so much anxiety. We are from SA and we would never ever leave our children home alone or make their own way home from school until they are at least 16!"

I'm assuming there are specific special circumstances here?

This is my thread from last year and things are very different this year. Last summer went well, except the boys are very different and frequently got pissed off with each other - still, it was character forming I don't think we'll do it this year though.

We managed to get a bus ticket for the dedicated school minibus after being on a waiting list for it. That really helped and he comes in and sorts himself out with his snack and gets on with his homework and his various chores.

@Springbokmommy it's a different world for sure - my SA colleague marvelled at the freedom his kids had when he moved to Cork city, but found it hard to adapt to kids knocking in for his DDs and them all just going out to play in the estate. He said you don't just send the kids out to play in SA - it's playdates in secure gardens.