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Original poster

Wedding gift cash - how much?

30 replies

Dynamicsloth · 22/03/2022 11:12

I’m attending an Irish wedding next month. I’ve been advised it’s usual to gift cash nowadays at Irish weddings. How much? Is €100 too little? Don’t want to come across as mean. The bride and groom are in their 30s, professionals, both from affluent families etc.

OP posts:
Radyward · 22/03/2022 11:18

Its at leas 150 to 200 per couple.. we are goin to a cousins wedding in April so giving 225 . Its totally mad . Weddings are so expensive now for the couple.you are essentially covering your dinner for them

Moody123 · 22/03/2022 11:19

I would gift a friend £50, and family £100 GBP but I don't think I could afford anything more than that to be honest

ISeeTheLight · 22/03/2022 11:22

For me it would depend on how close you are to the couple and also what kind of wedding it is. Weddings are expensive and it isn't unusual to pay £100 per guest (+ everything else on top of that like dress, photographer, sometimes additional venue hire costs etc).

I'd say £50 per person as an absolute minimum, for closer friends we usually give £200 (so £100 per person). If you can afford it obviously.

shabbalabba · 22/03/2022 11:22

Irish wedding- €200

Original poster
Dynamicsloth · 22/03/2022 11:27

It’s really difficult. I could afford £100/€100. It would be a push to pay more, especially with hotels, airfares etc.

We actually have 2 Irish weddings this year. Both niece/nephew but not exactly close. This family are very affluent so won’t be pushed for cash, the one later in the year is not rich at all, so I would be inclined to give more.

OP posts:
butterflymum · 22/03/2022 11:34

an offering of money or assets made by one person to another in which nothing of comparable value is given, or expected to be given, in return

Some might say....the couple marrying have free choice on how much they do or do not spend to host the wedding and provide their guests with refreshment etc., so equally the guest should have free choice on how much they spend on a gift and especially they should not feel obliged to give money in lieu of said gift, as if it were some form of compensation to match the outlay on feeding them etc.

Babadook76 · 22/03/2022 11:39

I hate threads like this because you’re made to feel tight af if you can’t afford the ridiculous amounts people come up with on here. The most recent wedding I went to was my sisters, it was pretty large but I knew the vast majority of the guests that were going. We were all aware that the bride and groom had paid £50 per head for our meals, so we collectively agreed to put £60 each in a wedding card to cover all of the money they’d spent on us plus a little bit more. I know they were very happy with that. People have to spend enough attending weddings as it is, it’s a shame that you can’t get away with buying a nice dinner set or a toaster and are now expected to shell out hundreds more in cash gifts on top of everything else.

jusdepamplemousse · 22/03/2022 11:43

It’s normal to give €200 in Ireland if attending as a couple. I’ve never actually attended a wedding as a single person but I think it would be ok to cut this down to €120 if you are.

Note for close family it’s normal to give more, or if you are significantly older and wealthier it is normal to give more.

It goes without saying, if you can’t afford it, don’t give it.

cantbecoping · 22/03/2022 11:45

@jusdepamplemousse

It’s normal to give €200 in Ireland if attending as a couple. I’ve never actually attended a wedding as a single person but I think it would be ok to cut this down to €120 if you are.

Note for close family it’s normal to give more, or if you are significantly older and wealthier it is normal to give more.

It goes without saying, if you can’t afford it, don’t give it.

Yes I agree with this. That’s the norm.
Original poster
Dynamicsloth · 22/03/2022 11:48

Thanks for all your comments. I think it will have to be €200!

OP posts:
minniep · 22/03/2022 17:48

Definitely €150 to €200 is the norm

Beachbreak2411 · 22/03/2022 20:24

If a couple want a lavish wedding it’s their choice! Not their guests! Some wedding packages are £200 p/h and still have a bar to pay for whilst there.. plus outfits.. travel.. rooms.. etc etc! I’d probably give £50 as a friend; £100 as close friend and maybe a bit more for siblings.. but they know I’m broke so wouldn’t expect it

Original poster
Dynamicsloth · 22/03/2022 20:49

Why not just make it openly ‘pay to attend’ and sell tickets or something Grin

OP posts:
ColonelNobbyNobbs · 22/03/2022 21:17

Well OP while i agree that €200 is the ‘norm’ I don’t care what is the norm and usually give €100 - €120ish if giving cash or the same value as a present. It’s not my fault if the couple want a big fancy wedding.

DramaAlpaca · 22/03/2022 21:20

Agree with others, €200 per couple is the norm.

bellsbuss · 22/03/2022 21:24

When I went to an Irish wedding I was told by another Irish friend that I had to cover my plate. It was DH and I so we gifted €150 and it was about 14 years ago.

WindsweptNotInteresting · 22/03/2022 21:31

This is really interesting (I am not Irish so wasn't aware of this norm). So what would happen if you were really hard up and genuinely couldn't afford the €120pp / €200 per couple gift? Would you make your excuses and not go? Or would you forever be thought of as tight? Or is it ok to just give what you can afford and people understand?

OstrichFeathers · 22/03/2022 21:31

Absolutely only give what you can afford.

kerosene20 · 22/03/2022 21:35

I’m in a similar situation with an Irish wedding, flying there, paying for hotels etc. Would €200 be expected too? It is costing us about €600 to attend not including spending money, outfits etc.

Original poster
Dynamicsloth · 22/03/2022 21:47

Yes @kerosene20

We are a family of 4 so best part of £1000 for hotel, flights, clothing (black tie) and incidental expenses.

Also had to book AirBNB car hire etc for the second Irish wedding combined with family holiday later this year.

We have pretty ordinary with public sector jobs and the people getting married are wealthy so wouldn’t really miss the €200 - but it’s a lot to us.

OP posts:
MondayTuesdayWednesday · 22/03/2022 21:53

€100 is perfectly fine to give as a present. If the bride and groom are unhappy with that or complain about it then they are selfish and not worth worrying about anyway.

Yes it is usual to give €150 to €200 per couple but equally I don’t know anyone getting married that would want someone to give an amount that they could not afford. Most people would not even expect a present from someone travelling from another country.

honeyrider · 23/03/2022 00:49

I wouldn't expect anyone travelling from abroad to give an expensive gift/money as the bride and groom know the added expense of travelling and are normally more interested on you being able to attend.

From experience both at my own wedding and those of my siblings there's always been a couple of guests who attended out weddings and didn't give anything and they lived locally so no travelling expenses involved.

qazxc · 24/03/2022 10:40

€100 for a single person
€150 per couple.
That's the norm for the weddings I have been to.
But don't put yourself under financial pressure to pay that if you can't afford it, given the amount of money you will be spending to attend, €100 is fine.

SoyMarina · 24/03/2022 14:52

I usually ignore the 'giving money' tradition and give bed linen or the like. No one has complained yet in fact I've received really nice thank you cards.
We live out of Ireland, therefore it's already very expensive to attend.
And remember giving money it's only a suggestion not a rule!
Enjoy it.

honeyfox · 24/03/2022 14:59

150 euro would be the average going by my Irish wedding but if people are travelling from another country I would not expect that. I would be happy just that they managed to come.

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