Differences in wedding traditions - help

[Northernlurker]

Dd is getting married next year. The groom's family and many friends are from NI.

What do I need to know? Are there any significant wedding tradition differences?

There seems to be a reluctance to have evening guests (which is fair enough if they've travelled a long way) so far. What else will turn up.....

As per above poster - the folk talking about ‘Protestant’ weddings are entirely missing the fact the impact of religion entirely depends on the denomination. Plenty of moderate Protestant churches. Not serving any wine at all even with dinner would draw comment in all but the most of wedding parties.
And to the poster who said that in effect those in NI are not Irish - seriously? Obviously there is an element of nuance, but how wilfully ignorant can you be?

Most likely there will be some older very religious Protestant family members who would love a cream tea and tray bakes after the service and before reception. And tea and cake at 10pm
Then the younger hoolies will be like “tea? Who the hell wants tea?” And will expect to have access to a bar as soon as the ceremony is over with some free Prosecco thrown in. Eating takes up stomach space and they’ll probably have a 24 pack of warm Harp in their car boot.

Wine on the tables is a good touch.
Ceilidh dancing goes down well for a laugh.
Followed by manic 2000

No drink

The last wedding I was at pre-Covid I got chatting to a young man from the north who had never been to a wedding in the republic before and the only person he knew was his girlfriend. He had been worried it would be awful but everyone was chatting to him and he was having a great time. He thought the mass was very long though

I have been to a lot of both.
Main difference I found (as with lots things) NI more formal, everyone sitting in church early where as Irish weddings people stand outside chatting until bride approaching 30 min late. NI female guests were a flower around wrist. NI no ribbons on cars.
Presents lists and viewing of present s v's cash in car to best man.
Other then finishing times have not observed major differences at reception. Irish weddings don't have 'carriage at midnight' wish some in NI do.

I'm church of ireland (protestant) and im shocked there'll be No wine. None!! Your guests will have to buy a glass of wine to go with their wedding meal. What about champagne for the toast!

Was coming on to say it might be dry. I've been to one dry wedding but you could buy alcohol. I think there was juice or schloer for toasts. A colleagues wedding was dry. Is the wedding taking place in NI?

Lots of stereotyping here. NI catholic and we didn't wear corsages and had ribbons on the car (or do you mean that thing where guests put ribbons in their car?).

No alcohol because it is "sinful". Probably some obscure passage in the bible about it.

Having said that it's your daughters day too so some compromise is necessary. If you're hosting (paying) then I would assume you could serve alcohol but have lots of non alcoholic options too.

I did go to a very awkward mixed marriage in a Catholic Church where the grooms side resolutely stayed in their seats when the standing and kneeling was going on.

grooms side resolutely stayed in their seats when the standing and kneeling was going on

Not so much a case of resolutely refusing to do it. They simply wouldn’t have known what to do plus it would have seemed hypocritical to follow rituals that weren’t their own.
Been to many a catholic funeral in NI and the prods and atheists always flock to the back row so that they are less noticeable not following the rituals because they know they look awkward. Never have a clue what to do and it would look worse to be hypocritical.

I've been to 2 protestant weddings,there wasn't much difference from the Catholic ones except the church and instead of a pub after the service we went into the church hall were the "ladies" had tray bakes. Went to the hotel then,still had free drink when you arrived and music and then normal hot meal (usually 5 courses including tea) with wine on the table then the usual drinking,dancing and craic until the wee hours,just no irish songs being sang at 4am

@blubberyboo

grooms side resolutely stayed in their seats when the standing and kneeling was going on

Not so much a case of resolutely refusing to do it. They simply wouldn’t have known what to do plus it would have seemed hypocritical to follow rituals that weren’t their own.
Been to many a catholic funeral in NI and the prods and atheists always flock to the back row so that they are less noticeable not following the rituals because they know they look awkward. Never have a clue what to do and it would look worse to be hypocritical.

Unfortunately in this case they disapproved of the mixed marriage so they might have been making a point. It was printed in the order of service - stand / kneel etc but i respect it was their choice not to follow that.

Please advise guests that they will be paying for alcohol if they want to drink throughout the day and with their meal. Usually there would be a glass of something when you arrive from the church to the reception venue and there is red/white wine served with the meal and a drink to toast the happy couple provided by whomever is paying for the wedding reception dinner/meal. If no alcohol is provided, please let guests know.

Depending on where the reception is being held, as hosts, you may have to pay for a bar exension (where the venue is legally permitted to sell alcohol at a private event).

I know the above is all about drink but not to have any would be the talking event of the year!

The NI Protestant weddings I’ve been to all had wine on the table and paid bars. 3/4 of my aunties had dry weddings (secret alcohol in friends car) The reception welcoming canapés have been tea and shortbread. So many cups of tea throughout the day as well! There’s also been food served after the ceremony but before the reception. One had an ice cream van, my cousins’ church ladies did a full on afternoon tea. I’ve seen a fair few Ceilidhs too. Food has always been fish/meat and the traditional 3 courses

Fuck me there’s some wild stereotyping going on here, I have been to the weddings of many, many NI Protestant’s none of which have been ‘dry’.