Opting out of Holy Communion in a rural catholic school

[CucumberAndMint]

Thinking we will make the decision not to go through with Holy communion for our DC.

DC1 due next May. Date chosen already so bouncy castles and hair appointments can be booked!

Our main concerns are fallout and feelings of exclusion. DH family not bothered. Mine fairly horrified.

We are happy with the school and will take dc on holiday around the time of event.

Has anyone done this and how did he deal with it?

Do you mean First Communion? If your family is Catholic, why would you opt out?

Yes first communion.

My family may be catholic. Some stricter than others. A la carte Catholicism.

My dh and I no longer feel catholic,do not go to mass, do not take ours kids to mass and are pretty disgusted by some of the church's behaviour.

The kids seem to have no comprehension of why they are taking first communion. It's all about the style and bouncy castles and of course money to buy games consoles and iPhones.

As I said we feel quite strongly. Only reason we would be doing it is because everyone else is.

Both my children go to a very small Catholic village school. Neither DH or I consider ourselves to follow any faith now. Dds class have just taken their holy communion and we opted out. As did another child. It was no big deal at all. We gave dd the choice- she didn't fancy doing it! That was that really.

What are the options for secondary school? Would this have any bearing on secondary school choices?

It sounds as though if everything was stripped back... the party, the clothes etc you still wouldn’t want to go through with the actual ceremony. I think your decision is made and after your holiday the kids will talk about it for a short while then it will be forgotten.

Good to hear.

Problem here is it is being talked about already. Major social event. We are also a "local" family.

Young very religious teacher.

No no bearing on secondary schools that I know of anyway!

I do think church and education need to be separated. If parents had to do communion preparations on their own time they might feel differently about it.

Why did you send your child to a Catholic school if you dislike it so much? Was it the only choice, or is it a better school?

Why send your child to a catholic school if your not religious and you know they would be doing their sacraments? If you think religion and school should be separate yet again why send your child to a catholic school?

If you think that education and faith should be separate, don't send your child to a Catholic school.

They may not have had any choice, particularly if they live rurally. Over 90% of primary schools have Catholic patronage.

I suspect the OP didn’t have much choice. What with living in rural Ireland and all.

Often in rural Ireland, we have NO CHOICE but to send our kids to a catholic school. We have no other options without an hour long round trip twice a day! All three local schools are Catholic.

My kids opted out. No issue at all. They got to do extra lessons with another classes whilst the others prepared. They do go a Protestant secondary an hour away in the nearest city when older, so lack of Catholic sacraments has no bearing.

I am from a very old traditional catholic family, but they didn't seem to mind. Each to their own.... I even married a Protestant 😖

I'm a bit puzzled if you feel this strongly about it that you sent your child to a Catholic school.

Some places there doesn’t seem to be much choice other than to send your children to a catholic school. Unless you want to have the children spending the whole day travelling, and missing out on being educated with their friends from home. I imagine that’s why, antebellumwannabes.

It’s rural Ireland, I’m guessing

Parents do not have a choice. The nearest multi denominational school could be miles away in the next county. Everyone goes to the local school which is usually Catholic seeing as they run over 90% of the schools in Ireland

And OP, it is now common for some children not to make their Communion.The only thing is in second class it occupies a large part of the school day

Good luck with your decision

That makes sense now thanks for explaining joker. Totally your choice think you should plan something special so the kids feel less left out.

Same question as above?

Our local Catholic school is bloody difficult to get in so they are looking at making it strict Catholic only instead of all religions in - not being biased or anything and with government approval they can give priority to Catholics first due to a nominated school belief.

And before anyone says I'm being racist I was brought up CoS and converted to Catholicism when I married hubby.

I would also check if it affects local access - you may need to apply for a placement if nominated school gives priority.

I would imagine the OP had no choice. I can’t imagine rural Ireland is a hot bed of alternative non religious schooling.
It’s really difficult for you OP

No choice all local schools are catholic and we want our kids to be part of the community and have local friends etc.

Nearest non catholic school would be an hour away.

Would have been easier if I had married a Protestant or foreigner lol

Think our decision is made and will live with the consequences.

Think Ireland is changing rapidly but some things are a bit slower to be acceptable.

Secondary schools are again local schools and kids are baptised so should not be an issue

I don't think it will be that much of an issue with the school. They'll have had this before. I imagine their only concern would be that your DD will feel left out of all the fun.

Tbh that would be my main concern too. There's no denying that kids really love their First Holy Communion. They get to dress up in fancy clothes with their class mates, get presents and be the centre of attention.

We're not religious but our kids are baptised and going to a local Catholic school and theres no way I'd deny my kids that day when all their friends are doing it. Its like them being the only kid not invited to a birthday party. Except its their own birthday party!

I would thoroughly recommend marrying "a Protestant" 😆😆😆

I did my first communion as DM couldn't explain why I wasn't getting a dress and party like all the other girls! But that's when you did it in 1st class still.
We are moving home soon but thankfully missing that. And confirmation doesn't seem to be such a big deal (I hope!)

Elpeth it would be easier to go through with it I agree.

But I do question the lack of emphasis on the religious aspect and more on the party and money etc.

Most of the kids getting communion have barely seen the inside of a church. I find it all so hypocritical.

It's extremely common now that there are pupils opting out of communion and confirmation in schools both urban and rural based every year. One of my teacher friends had 8 out of 30 pupils in her class opt out of making their first communion and it's so common that schools are used to it.

When my children made their communion the children who opted out were invited to the school hall after the communion to feel part of the celebrations and the girls dressed up for it and treated it as a party.