Clodagh Hawes family speakout

[oldbirdtree]

www.irishmirror.ie/news/irish-news/clodagh-boys-never-stood-chance-9367017

I am so sad for them. Everyone on the outside could see the madness of that monster being buried with his innocent family but they were (understandably) to deep in grief to make that decision. I'm so sorry they have to live with this horror

The Belfast Telegraph article is excellent.

At the time I was horrified by the extent to which Clodagh and the boys were made invisible and I posted on Mumsnet about it. I can only imagine how utterly shocked her family were at the time (to agree to that burial). I was sickened by the tone of the funeral and the request for donations to a suicide charity. I did think about writing to the charity to ask if they would re-route any of the donations to a domestic violence charity. I don't know if they ever publicly commented on the case.

How can it be that a person who wakes their children in the night to murder them is pitied and eulogised in the way this man was?

It is so very brave of Clodagh's family to speak out now and my heart goes out to them.

I grew up in Ireland and am well aware of the huge power that middle class men hold in society, with their veneer of respectability hiding terrible things. That is why I left. I hope Clodagh's family's bravery will be the start of a sea change that is long overdue. May she and the boys rest in peace (far far away from the vicious hypocrite that killed them).

When First read of their deaths, and what a "pillar of the community" he was and how "Self-effacing and quiet" Clodagh was, I knew that he was a domestic abuser.

No - I'm not psychic, but I have seen it in my own family; and seen the shame and humiliation the victims feel, and seen how they try to test the water for a sympathetic ear, but their tentative comments are met with "Oh - he's such a lovely man (they almost always are). You're so lucky", and "Well, what did you do to upset him?" (If the evidence e.g. bruises can't be denied), and "Oh - that's not like him - he's not himself at the moment."

These responses shut women up. And because the abuser is generally popular and often very influential, they feel they have nowhere to go. I think that the entire family, but especially Clodagh, has suffered years of controlling financial, mental and emotional (and possibly physical)abuse from this arrogant, manipulative man. And this is how it has ended.

RIP, Clodagh. May you and your boys be together in love now.

Recent research contained in programmes like suggest at least part of what was wrong with Clodagh's husband's personality was genetic. That might explain why his family does not appear to have come out to publicly support hers.
Or perhaps they are filled with shame and/or afraid of the hate and are choosing to keep a low profile.

Flappy your post is very much what Brenda Power said on Pat Kenny's show on Newstalk this morning. Newstalk has been covering domestic abuse last week and again this week and there are lots of adverts on domestic abuse on both radio and tv.

Holly absolutely unbelievable. I suppose that could happen to any of us and we would probably feel exactly the same.

YYY FlappysMammy.

Flappys, yes spot on. Unbearable tragedy, poor clodagh and her darling boys.

Well said flappys.

emeraldisle hadn't the adopted son assaulted his Mother in the past? He also researched stabbing and then stabbed the twins 40 odd times each, so it wasn't like he just snapped and did it. He planned it, he asked to pick them up from school then brutally murdered them.

There is no way on earth if this were my family he'd be buried with them.

Ashley I didn't know that.

Astley His mother said that they went away shopping to another town to get a present for one of the boys and the brother collected them from school. I heard that he had had behavioural problems leading up to the murders but I don't know how they presented.

His mum loved him and wanted him buried with the boys. I suppose it is different in that Clodagh wasn't able to give her opinion on the burial plans.

The only big difference is that the family were well aware the he had mental health problems unlike that creep Hawes.

The police say he searched for 'stabbing' and 'Irish Law' on his computer. He certainly didn't do it on the spur of the moment.

Mental illness or not, he murdered 2 small children. He stabbed them 40 times! Can you imagine seeing your child after they have been stabbed that many times? I wouldn't have collected his body from the morgue.

Would you believe that 3 men/sons murdered either both or one of their parents in a 50 mile radius from where I live in the last year? All three were suffering from mental illness and heard voices telling them to kill their parents.

They definitely carried out the murders but had been very unwell for a long time and their parents knew they were sick. The surviving adult children in all three families say they knew of the problems but never in their wildest dreams did they think it would end this way.

I just don't believe that creep Hawes was mentally ill. I know nobody will believe this but I could tell when I first read the news that he was a controlling bastard.

I think it's very different when someone is capable of Internet searches like that, then goes on to kill, rather than someone who is hearing voices.

Those poor boys must have been so frightened. I wouldn't want my children buried for ever next to their killer. Whether he was mentally ill or not.

I just can't imagine the terror. They would surely have woken at the mother's screaming. What makes me saddest is that the youngest was on his own, not with his brothers.

Not one person has come forward since the murders to say that that creep had a mental illness.

He wasn't mentally ill and it is scandalous that the church and the press led people to think that mentally ill people would randomly kill their family and then try to garner sympathy for the murderer.

I try to never think of the terror they felt because I couldn't bear it. I try to think they are in a safe place together now. I don't know if that is true but I prefer that delusion.

Hear hear, EmeraldIsle.

I know nobody will believe this but I could tell when I first read the news that he was a controlling bastard.

A few of us here felt exactly the same Emerald.

And to call him insane is to both insult the memory of the woman and children he brutally slaughtered (there is no other word) and to put a slur on people with mental health problems everywhere.

I often think about Clodagh & her boys since it was reported. I just find it so shocking they were buried with their killer. I do hope he is moved.

I hope so too. It must be unbearable to visit the grave, knowing the way that they died, and made even worse by having their killed buried with them.

...killer...

May Clodagh and her boys rest easier and those who loved them find some peace. Alan Hawe's body exhumed

Just read this today. So glad their final resting place is not with that murderer.

It seems so weird that this was his request in his suicide note but he was buried with the others without his parents or Clodagh's parents being aware of it.

Does anyone know about the "pressures" he said he was under? As far as I can see that's been kept very quiet.

I think about Clodagh and her boys from time to time, it still makes my heart sore.
I have a sense of relief that the murderers body is being exhumed. I hope that Clodagh and her beautiful innocent children can now finally rest in peace. May perpetual light shine upon them