How should couples split household costs when one earns twice as much?

[ourSusie]

How do people arrange their finances once they move in together, to a rented house, one earning exactly twice the other, both with good well paid jobs.
To have a joint pot for standing orders for paying utilities, to buy food, pay for repairs, household stuff, we put in half each. Is this fair. Is one subsidising the other.
Your thoughts please.

If there are no children involved I would say 50/50 me and DH did this before we had kids then after having kids put all money into the same account and everything was joint.

All income into a joint current account. After all bills are paid then a percentage into a joint savings account, a percentage into an ISA each & a percentage into a personal spending account each.

I like to pay half. I dont like to rely on other people to pay for me.
I use half the house, I use half the utilities. I pay half.
My lower wage is not their problem to subsidise.

However this may change if the other person insisted on a more expensive lifestyle.

Too hard to say with such little information.

Is there children involved that has meant one part of the couple sacrificing career opportunities?

Is one choosing to work less hours than the other, therefore lessening their earning potential, when they could actually work more?

I don't think its always a straight forwards "50/50 or percentages" without knowing the variables and household set up

Exactly

We pay enough each month into a joint account to cover all the bills and expenses. We split 50/50. We always have. I previously earned 50% less than my husband, but now earned 50% more. I pay for most of our holidays though. We have been together 20 years and married for 10. We dont have kids.

There's no answer to this, other than what the two of you agree on. Me an DP have always paid 50/50 for bills, and we've alternated at being the highest earner several times! But whoever has the most "spare" cash ends up paying for meals out or any treats etc. We've never really had to discuss it, it just kind of happens.

I think it depends on if you are married or not. For me, if you are not married, then it's like flatmates. You are divide all costs and that's it. But if you are married, you have agreed to share all your resources in life, permanently and for ever, so you just put all your income into a pot and pay everything from that. I know not everyone thinks that, but that's my view

I'm married 25 years now and that's how we have done it

I think early in the relationship half half can work, unless it creates an issue for one person. However as you become more established, and certainly once you marry, buy property together or have children, it is more fair to each put a pro-rata amount into a joint account based on how much you take home post-tax each month, then expenses can be paid from that.

No - because they won’t receive twice as much after tax.

We do it by percentage.

My partner earns probably 3 or close to 4 times what I earn since I reduced to part time after having our children.

We’ve always done 50/50 for the main household bills- mortgage, council tax and electric etc.

He then pays for everything else. Holidays we usually split, and I will occasionally pay when we have a take away or a meal out. The rest of my money basically then goes on the children, days when I take them out in the week, clothes and treats etc.

I don’t think either of us would ever want to completely pool our money and that was my choice when I went on my first lot of mat leave, I didn’t ever want to feel like I had to ask him for money.

We just put everything in one big pot. We buy treats that we want (we are both careful) and all bills are covered.

Both salaries into joint account regardless of who earns more. Everything comes out of that including savings, mortgage, bills, kids, personal spending. If one of us needs or wants to spend on something big and unusual (beyond usual hair cuts, day to day clothes etc) then we would discuss it first and maybe take it out of savings instead of the current account.

We went 50/50 until our DC were born, now I’m a SAHM and everything is pooled.

Why don’t you stop drip feeding @ourSusie and explain properly? Married / cohabiting plus what’s the situation with kids (how many, whose are they)? These are all factors that affect what’s fair or not.

We pay percentages for the bills and everyday living stuff.
Any extra large expenditures are 50/50. We aren't married, have one child and I know I am unusual in believing that even if we split then what was his before isn't now mine.

When DH (then BF) and I moved in together we were in that situation. We paid for all household expenses 50-50. He paid for occasional treats (takeaways or meals out) and anything extra he wanted that was over my budget (nicer hotel when we went on holiday).

Once we got married, the arrangement was much loser, each covering certain expenses. After children, it’s one joint account and everything comes out of that.

If you’ve just moved in together and are not engaged, I’d say 50-50 is fair, but you have to make sure you set a budget you’re comfortable with and stick to it. If he wants anything extra, he pays for it.

EDIT: I’ve just seen that you are married. In that case, a joint account is easiest. It’s all family money anyway.

Unmarried/ no or adult kids - split 50/50
married/ have or planning to have kids - pay a % so both have same money left.

In general, I think each adult is responsible for supporting themselves and paying their full half share, unless there are agreed on reasons for deviating from that.

So, for example, if one person's earnings were restricted because of childcare, then it's reasonable to redistribute the split to compensate for that.

However, no adult gets the right to dicate unilaterally that another adult has to support them because of their choice to earn less, either due to doing less hours, or being less successful financially. A mutually agreed decision to split finances differently based on different non financial contributions, yes, but otherwise it is each adults responsibility to pay their own way in life. This might mean they don't have the luxury of low paid or part time work, but such is life.

If married, everything goes in to one pot, bills are paid, savings put away and whatever is left is split equally between you.

If unmarried, probably the percentage idea.

50:50 is fair for an unmarried couple. Why should 1 pay more?

Well you clearly haven’t said that there are kids involved, or who the kids belong to? 🤷🏻‍♀️. Why are you dripping feeding and not providing full information when asking for opinions?

And you are wrong. If the higher earner is paying more then they are clearly subsidising the lower earner.

We would both put a percentage of our salaries into one pot so it was reflective of earnings.