Sick of having plenty of money on paper but not enough to actually live!

[MrsMop2026]

We get around £3,000 a month on paper that is loads.
Shouldn’t be struggling at all but why am I always struggling to put clubcard vouchers & pennies together at the end of the month.

Rent - £1,200
gas & elec - £300 (paying back some debt)
council tax - £150
water - £35 (on a special tarfif)
petrol - £200 (but obviously that’s now going up and god knows what that will come too - and yes I use my free bus pass where I can and no I can’t use less)
cats - £200 (i have four so it’s expensive Im trailing the cheaper supermarkets litter at £2.99 for 10 litres atm so hoping to get this down and next I will try cheaper cat food)
Food - £600 (cant get this cheaper ones diabetic other has AFRID)

leaving me with £260 a month but that just seems to go so quickly with school uniform, school trips, the occasional day out. :(

I don’t drink, I don’t smoke, I don’t do expensive days out, takeaways are a luxury in this house.
It is so stressful isn’t it? How does everyone else manage?

Well, yes you applied it.

Have you not claimed UC or am I reading it wrong? You would be entitled I think.

Yes insured, maybe I should get rid of it, its £100ish a month to insure four. They are pretty healthy just the eldery one is “getting on” but not due to health problems. Thinking of it I have never even made a claim on it!

I’m sorry you’re struggling, £3000 a month might sound like a lot but honestly to support a family of 4 - especially when rent is nearly half of that- it isn’t much really.

Agree with others, claim anything you are entitled to.

Good idea for husband to look for evening/weekend jobs too, even if it was 1 shift a week and brought in £100 a week it would make a big difference.

Sadly I do also agree that rehoming the cats would be the best option though, £200 is a lot of money when you really can’t afford it.

Apply for UC.
Because you have disabled children and a carer you will get those elements at least which will be a huge help.
Being a carer is a thankless job, take what you are entitled to!

£200 a month on cats?

Please don’t feel bad applying for extra financial support. You have 2 disabled children and simply don’t have the same choices available that everyone else has. You need that extra money.

You need to word it correctly or they will fob you off.

Speak to the disability team and tell them you want a care needs assessment. Then during that assessment they have to assess how needs will be met. Answer all questions as though you are both in full time work as you need to be to afford to live. That then triggers a report where several needs are unmet and social services are responsible for meeting those needs.

My son is severely disabled, an adult now but will never be independent and needs round the clock care etc. As I said his care team costs them £2.5k a week. I was being given £79 a month carers allowance to do the same thing and they wonder why I can’t afford to live. It’s madness and in the end it costs the taxpayer more but until the government recognise the financial strain placed on parents of disabled children there isn’t another option.

I hope the interview goes well.

We're with Hey Broadband.

Have a look on Moneysavingexpert at all the different social tariff type arrangements there are. There are some suprising ones such as for water depending on where you live which can be helpful. You might find you don't qualify now, but would with UC.

Our household income is just over 4k a month, i consider that on the low end.
I would panic at the thought of £1200 coming out of that for rent alone (We pay £480).
So yeah you are paying a fortune in rent compared to your income.
If your husband can't find work can he do something to bring in money, buying and selling/ pizza delivery/handyman services/ gardening etc?

I only have very basic cat insurance about £7 each for £2k cover. We accept though if they get seriously injured or ill it will likely mine PTS.

If they need long term medication it usually isn’t covered/worth claiming on the insurance anyway.

Why cant your husband work opposite hours to you? Eg evening care work once you are back from work?

Your issue is thinking £3k a month is 'plenty of money' when actually these days that's quite a low income for a family.

Apply for UC as soon as possible. It isn't cheeky at all to simply claim what you are entitled to.

It is really tricky having both parents work when disabled children are involved.

Can your husband drive? If so supermarket delivery isn't a bad part time job in the evenings.

The solution is:

Move to a cheaper area
Get rid of the four cats

Believe me I tried so many rescues (even out of my area) to take the two cats when it all happened, I begged but they all said they were full. To much of a animal lover to leave them to fend for themselves on the streets and I know rescues are still struggling for space.

Thank you everyone for the food for thought, I will do the suggestions & hopefully things get better.

Sorry hadn’t read all the posts. Was wondering if they would get UC on that income

you husband could look for a job that’s when you are at home eg could he get some work on a Saturday or whenever you day off is

No. People have suggested that your DH works some hours when you are at home - either in the evenings or weekends. Also £200 a month on 4 cats is a lot.

You could also look for cat food banks in your area, and approach diabetes charities for grants.

I hope things improve.

The COL is biting and having an AuDHD son and a probable second one (undiagnosed) I feel your pain with regards working being limited around their additional needs.

Nobody would bat an eye if your kids had physical disabilities and you claimed UC and DLA, so you shouldn’t feel bad for claiming anything you are entitled to, because of unseen disabilities.

I think you are doing well OP. Give yourself a pat on the back rather than questioning it.

I've actually read and understood your posts, and also possess some empathy unlike some horrible people...please ignore that person, nobody normal and kind thinks like them.

I understand your reluctance to claim benefits, I've felt the same, but you'll only get what the system allows and you are entitled to. Citizens Advice offer a benefits advice service which will ensure you get everything available.

Do not feel bad about that for one second.

That sounds difficult.

Two things that cpuld make the bihgest difference:.

1. check every single entitlement USC, carers etc. Claim everything you needcto and are entitled to.

2. the cats have got to go. If a rescue won't take them, advertise them for free all over social media.

You are struggling due to some cats than you don't even want.

This sounds like a good plan. He could work evenings and weekends and then your child will never be alone

I will cancel the cat insurance and that saves us £100 and see how we go. I’m very recluant to put them for free online you hear so many stories about dog fights using cats if I knew they were going to a decent home that would love them I would be a lot happier.