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Preparing to very reluctantly downsize

82 replies

lalavander · 24/04/2025 14:28

It’s been a turbulent few years. In 2020 we purchased our forever home. DH had his own contracting business and was earning well, my own business was about to have 3 very busy years followed by 2 much quieter ones. DH had to pivot and take on a permanent roll, which came with a paycut due to a multitude of reasons and my own business has been a lot quieter (as everyone else within my industry has found) for a couple of years now.
Our mortgage rate has doubled. We have been gripping onto our home best we can but it’s getting to the point where we don’t have enough money to do much other than survive. It’s been tough.

We are slowly accepting we need to say goodbye to our detached, 5 bed in a desirable location and downsize, potentially to a less desirable location to make a dent in our mortgage. Our property has increased in value by about 200k and it’s a chance to take that money and buy something smaller with a smaller mortgage BUT I am so sad.

i didn’t realise how fond I’d grown of our home until we’ve really started considering selling. I keep looking at photos of special memories made here, looking at the garden and the kids bedrooms just how they want them and CRYING. I’m grieving a house. Who’d have thought it.

Has anyone else been in a similar situation being forced to downsize and relocate a little (albeit locally). I feel like we are going backwards and feel sad that our kids won’t have a “family home” to remember as we’ve always ended up moving due to finances previously, followed by a short period of stability and now this, AGAIN.

I need to count my blessings that we can afford our own home of any size and get a grip, I know. We are blimmen lucky but today I feel sorry for myself and sad to say goodbye to what I thought was our forever home.

OP posts:
hattie43 · 30/04/2025 07:19

I think I’d only downsize if I’d exhausted all other options . I’d rather rent it out until my finances improved than sell . I’d also park a failing / quiet business and get back into paid employment with the business as a sideline . Your main thing is to declutter and then see the space / rooms you have and what to do with them .

lalavander · 30/04/2025 10:11

Thanks everyone. I’ve not replied recently as it’s been incredibly stressful. DH currently seeking a different job (been ongoing for a year or so now), I’ve been applying for another job - I work mainly weekends and it’s seasonal so been looking into work that fits around school hours. We are getting our property valued today and looking at one that is still 4 bed detached, 3 miles down the road that is half the price, we think the work is mainly cosmetic. Just trying to explore all options. We do want to be able to enjoy life a little rather than scrimp and save, our mortgage is large as is our house. Currently have students during all school holidays so need the extra space but it’s a balancing act between enjoying life a little (not cancelling childrens dance classes, being able to say yes sometimes to extras in life) and having a big house etc. we can’t have it all and just need to decide what’s most important to us really!

OP posts:
lalavander · 30/04/2025 10:12

Gandalfatemyhamster · 30/04/2025 06:40

I would sell in your position. This isn’t a short term hardship, you don’t really know when your finances will change and the COL could get higher depending on political climate.
Even if it is your dream home, no holidays, not even allowing yourself a take away coffee, worrying about unexpected bills, no money for anything ‘nice’ isn’t really a dream life. Feels very capitalist nightmare like, just earning enough to pay bills.
Memories aren’t related to houses, memories are people. When I look back I can’t remember if the houses of my childhood were council or owned, big or small, I can’t remember if there was one toilet or twelve, but I remember the people in them.
I’m having to downsize due to relationship breakdown but I’m not that sad, perhaps a different circumstance, but I know that the kids and I will laugh and dance and play in another smaller house. It really is the love that makes a home.

I agree with you, wholeheartedly

OP posts:
lalavander · 30/04/2025 10:14

Peripop · 30/04/2025 05:39

I hear you OP. We are 'ok' but feel we'd like to have to strive less every month to drag in the money required just to stand still. We're looking at downsizing but its very depressing how far you have to go down to actually move the needle!

isnt it just. Dh keeps sending me properties that I deem to expensive. If im going to downsize I want it to make a real difference to our finances, not just a bit!
dragging him to a house today that’s got enough space for us, we would need to majorly declutter but I have been meaning to do so anyway- but its not an ideal home, it’s a bit “meh” but it’ll actually make a dent in our finances soooo

OP posts:
lalavander · 30/04/2025 10:16

JellyNellyKat · 30/04/2025 05:06

Throw everything at it. I know it’s hard but realistically after all the fees and all the stuff involved in moving etc is it really worth it? Can you get another job?

I can, it has to be school hours ish (can pay for before and after school clubs) as dh works 5 days a week in the office, I work most weekends in the summer so it would be rough during the summer months as wouldn’t see the kids or dj other than evenings BUT it may well be worth it. I have applied for 3 term time roles this week :)

OP posts:
Pigtailsandall · 04/05/2025 18:10

Alevel2 · 30/04/2025 06:55

You could get an aupair over school holidays for childcare

I doubt this would help, it would cost way more than holiday clubs or childminder etc

CherryBlossom321 · 11/05/2025 12:30

Did you look into extending the term, OP? You can always reduce it back down in future if things get more financially comfortable.

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