Amigos actively attempting austere actions August 24>

[Happierwithouthim]

Link to last thread
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/cost_of_living/5007277-familiar-friends-in-frugalityfeb-24?latest=1

All welcome, the vibe is frugal life to make the things that matter possible, which is different for everyone, some of us have overcome debt, separations etc. All are friendly and we're sometimes chatty, sometimes quiet.

Don't lurk, join in

My bank balance dropped below the level I'm comfortable with, even though I've no direct debits due out it gives me a little anxiety, anyone else get this?
I've lots of cash so not under pressure financially
Christmas club.from my last employer came into my account today, I'm going to leave it there until I get paid next Thurs to help this anxiety

€450 to builders providers for insulation
€6 milk & local magazine
€33.16 SuperValu which is definitely a misnomer but got nice things like 0% cider, cream buns, meaty sausages & stuffed pork steak for dinner

Told dparents. It was like running them over with a bus. But it’s done. I know they’ll support but it was still awful to do.

Em I'm just catching up, God what a shock! I'm really sorry to hear that, cancer is shit. Have you told work? The kids?

Sending you lots of mn love.

As Em. Telling the parents something like that ❤️

I have money anxiety too happier, I get it.

£££££ weekly shop but for 4 of us, including beer and wine.

£30 hair highlights and roots done.

Menu plan

Veggie/beef chilli (will last two days)
Cauliflower and mushroom curry
Chicken dhansak
Smokey beans and baked eggs. Crusty bread
Cod and olive tagine
Aubergine and chicken parmigiana

em - that must have been such a difficult experience for all parties.

happier and need: I share the money anxiety. There was so much financial instability in my childhood and DH's deceptions around money that I feel that I have to manage this all the time. And I can only do this by checking the balances so I know nothing unexpected has happened.
It doesn't even matter that it's trivially easy to transfer money from the savings account to the current account in seconds, when the current account drops lower than an arbitrary figure, I have to top it back up again, even if payday is within the next 24hrs and I know there are no pending payments.

Joining the money anxiety bench

em❤️

£606 on college train pass bill FIL says he will pay that.

fucking hell the bus website is horrific. And no busses run to town before 742. Sheesh

Glad to hear I'm in good company, the only direct debit due out before payday is 0.018% of the balance

At long last some of my life admin is moving in the right direction. I have an application form from the registry, and my ID problems should soon be sorted.

I’m back to cash temporarily. Making a very careful list of essentials for tomorrow, probably just milk and eggs. Teen needed cash for scout camp and the bin cleaner needed paid.

Serious sit-down talk with DH has to happen soon. We both have our weak spots so no blame to each other, just lack of awareness.

Oh em I’m sorry. Thoughts are with you. And sending you hugs.

Spending has been a bit wayward. £10.73 on groceries, £12.50 on a certificate from the GRO and £11.98 on two USB flash drives. Went to a food festival today and am £32 down. That’s a combination of lunch, some Mexican bits and two slices of cake.

Been an odd week. Mother’s popped up again. Surprise surprise she wants something. She’s bringing sibling nonsense with her too. Like I don’t have enough of my own crap to deal with. Trying very hard to resist splashing on France next month. Had decided I’d go, then decided I wouldn’t but now just want to have a break.

Hi 🙂 I dropped off the thread in 2023 despite finding it really helpful. Have been lurking for a few weeks, thinking I'd get to the end of the summer and then start posting again. Anyway no time like the present, hope you don't mind if I jump in again 🙏

Em am so sorry to hear that news. Agree with others, cancer is shit. It's positive that it's treatable and caught early but what a roller coaster of emotion for you and your family.

Spends so far today have been
£11.50 DD activity
£7.50 DD activity
25p Fudge bar (as needed for exact change for DD activity!)

Eating out later which will be spendy. We've had two significant losses this year (DH parents in a space of months) and his sister told us to go out for Sunday roast with some money left over from the 2nd funeral 😔 Got a lot of family stuff coming up in the next 6 months with probate and DS starting a job but worrying me over stupid life choices. If I can keep finance stable that will help a bit!

Post later as need to take DD home now

kessie - We've had two significant losses this year (DH parents in a space of months)

Sorry to read this. Life presses so hard at times. And you're right, financial stability helps.

DH's procedure has been brought forward*. Unfortunately, it's now booked for the day before a full day meeting (virtual) for me. So, I'll need to see if there's a day rate for the hotel we're booked into (night of the procedure) so I can have the meeting from there the next day (it starts at 06:30) or reconcile myself to booking in for a second night as well as the meetings can run until 19:00.

Roadworks are running from night time until 05:00 or thereabouts in a lot of areas so I can't take the risk of being able to drive back early. I'm heavily engaged in and leading the first agenda item. And DH is not supposed to be that far from an A&E for the first 24hrs or so afterwards. (Near the hospital itself until the next afternoon and thereafter within easy travel of one.)

I'm pleased that we have the savings to make this easier for him and smooth the logistics. Without being feckless, I'll worry about the future when it happens and not until then.

*From the sound of it, the biopsy influenced the date as a couple of areas need a more elaborate procedure and the consultant is available on that day but then not for another 2-3 weeks afterwards.

I've had a bit of a break too Kessie but need to be back as this year has been a bit of a financial car crash that we weren't prepared for and we need to get back on track.
Em sorry to hear your news, it was 2 years ago this week since my op & diagnosis and, while I'm fine most of the time, that anniversary triggers flashbacks.... I can imagine how you're feeling & happy for you to message me any time if it would help x
Ds moves away for his new job next Sunday so prep for that is a bit chaotic as he only had his house (rental jointly with a friend) confirmed this week. I've just been looking at van rental as we need to take furniture down because it's unfurnished.
Dd is still on her summer uni break and will be moving into her new student house in 3 weeks.
Dh is in the midst of a restructure at work and having to apply for jobs in the new structure. He's very low in mood but trying to keep going & get his application sorted.
I've applied for a new job with a different local trust as I'm sick of the team I work with and really want a more clinical role. It's the same grade so no financial loss. It would be a longer commute but more in mileage expenses so it would even out. I know some of the team & they seem to want me so am keeping my fingers crossed
Spent yesterday in A&E with dad after he had a collapse on friday night. Long story, some of it funny, some sad but he's now on the neurosurgery ward for observation until at least tomorrow. He has a small bleed just under his skull and consequently a bad headache! They are both getting more frail and more and more of a concern and I'm trying to do what I can to help them keep safe but it's very stressful.
So that's my update, now I need to have a think about my money plan. That'll be my next post!

@ememem84 so sorry to hear your news, I took a break while the grandkids were here, and only just caught up.

My car passed its MOT with no work, just an advisory of a slightly worn shock absorber. Nothing to worry me, I force my car to carry on until bits are completely knackered before I replace anything. I didn't get it serviced this time, its only done 25000 miles since the last one, so I thought I might get it done in February or March when there is no council tax.

Luckily the DGC are young enough to quite cheaply entertained, a trip to the garden centre to look at the fish and a portion of chips to follow, and they are as happy as Larry. I also got a cheap marble run toy at a charity shop, which went down very well. DH also loved it, so it kept everyone happy.

Looking to put away about £200 this month, as per my target. So far this year I've managed to save a bit every month, not always the the full amount, but always something.

I hope it doesn’t sound crass during a CoL crisis, but I enjoyed going round the shop with only the money in my pocket and a very basic list. I had a lot of small change from way back when, and used it in the self service pay machine.

Shocked to realise that my drive-thru latte is just under £3. Usually I pay by contactless without a moment’s thought :-((

Thanks all.

parents took it well. They are here to support. Which is amazing.

work have been amazing. I’m not intending to go back until at least after the surgery (at some point mid 2025).

i have told the kids but given they’re so young the word “cancer” means nothing to them no negative connotations which is good.

we’ve told them that:

• mummy has a poorly booby.
• I need medicine to get better
• I have to have a plug (the port) put on me so they can plug me into the medicine (both kids said “like a robot?”)
• I might feel poorly after I have the medicine
• the medicine might make me sleepy and tired
• the medicine might make my hair fall out (dd thought this was hilarious….)

That’s all we’re telling them for not. When it’s operation time I’ll prep them for that. But for now we focus on the chemo.

starting on Friday. Which is insane. But sooner the better. Sooner we start sooner we finish.

8 weeks of chemo every 2 weeks. Then a break. Then 12 weeks of sessions once a week.

im due a payment back to my credit card of £4000. I cancelled my 40th birthday Disney trip. 😩 but health before Mickey Mouse. 🙃

I need to make their teachers aware and if there is any well-being support they can get at school I want them to get it.

Welcome back returners.

sounds like a very sensible and age appropriate way of telling them em. Truth without fear.
please work are being good too.
you just won’t know how chemo affects you until you have it. That’s the thing

£10 today on bread carrots and bits in Aldi

I'm awake at 2am so what better time to mumsnet, will regret when alarm goes off at 6am for running club no doubt

€66.77 dunnes mostly taking advantage of special offers so I think there'll be more food purchased during the week
€20 Aldi dc
€12 icecream
€2 tip at dinner, dm paid
€20 entrance to a castle which only opens once a year as it's occupied. Dominic West lives there, the actor who plays Prince Charles in the Crown
€14.05 drinks in a service station
€4.90 of dunnes/drinks spends will be refundable through Re Turn scheme

Em things are moving fast, luckily dc don't understand the seriousness & will just remember the time mummy stayed home from work, hopefully chemo doesn't make you too ill

kessie welcome back

Nice star spotting happier. Did you get you running club
in very tired and have slept late for me last few days. I read about keeping to your routine and not sleeping in but I can’t see how that will make me less tired

im due a payment back to my credit card of £4000. I cancelled my 40th birthday Disney trip. 😩 but health before Mickey Mouse.

Can you notionally keep that £4K in a holiday/treats savings jar? As PPs say, chemo etc. affect everyone differently and it would be good to have the money to flexibly respond to that.

Life I think it's earlier to bed that helps most with feeling tired.
Last night I slept in ds's bed in sleeping bag rather than on couch and I feel much more rested as a result, I grabbed sleeping bag when awake at 2am because he kept grabbing duvet

I did make running club this morn, tomorrows my last morn until Halloween break, I'll join the club though because I've got great advice from the chairperson every morning & they depend on fundraising & membership, then hopefully I'll be able to join others on runs that aren't official training.

If dd stops horse riding which she's talking about & I'm trying to discourage I'd be able to do Tues night session.

I did know DW lived there so there was a good chance of seeing him.

Hello, is it ok to join the group please? Feeling a bit stressed atm about finances and like I just need a bit of focus in trying to cut down on my spending.

The last 6 months or so I've just been noticing my balance towards the end of the month is much tighter than it used to be and there have been a couple of occasions where I've had to dip into savings to make sure I will definitely get to pay day without slipping into the overdraft. I have about £450 on an interest free credit card which I pay off more than the minimum each month but I just feel like I constantly have to be more aware of my outgoings, all of which have just steadily gone up over the last few years while my salary hasn't! We're by no means in difficulty but I would love to be a bit more comfortable every month or even be able to save more like I used to.

Twitchy - Best pieces of quick advice that I've picked up from here:

• a £5 a day coffee habit adds up to £2000 over a year
• mindless spending is @ £28 per person per day. Over a year, that's more than £10,000 for one person. Did you think you had a spare £10K a year?

Above all, you need a budget. I have a husband who literally shakes so hard with anxiety that he can't have this conversation yet but I'm still working on it.

Hello @TwitchyNibbles Welcome - we all drop in and out as we feel we need it. Some of us for accountability and some for debt clearance - and some - just because it's good to know that others are in the same boat. I was doing okay at the start of the month but have had to dip into savings for a family funeral plus it's the school holidays - so some expenses with GKs. Ultimately that is what savings are for (if you can save them) and we can't all do it for one reason or another, so accountability or even low spend days when we can't manage a no spend day help.
Rain has stopped play for DH on the shed building but it is looking good - we nearly lost the shed roof in the very strong winds the other day but we just plonked a ladder on top until the wind dropped and DH could do some re-fixing. My poor neighbour who has new allotment - no longer has a greenhouse - the wind completely flattened it!!
We had a day out with the ACs and GCs on Saturday so it was a very spendy day but we all had a lovely time and the weather ended up being warm and sunny all day.
We have said we will contribute to GDs Brownie Uniform so have that expense coming up but we do like to help out where we can with all the GCs and their activities or school uniforms. Life isn't cheap when you have children - when mine were little - I was ever grateful when GPs lobbed us a tenner here and there! 👼But despite all the spends this month, another credit card has bitten the dust - so all is good!! 🤗