Sick to death of grocery costs (1k/ month)

[Icannotbudget]

Our grocery bill has slowly increased and is now around 1k per month. This is for two adults, two very active teenage boys, and two dogs. This includes everything you would get from a supermarket eg personal care and laundry/ cleaning stuff.
Both kids are neurodivergent one in particular is very fussy and would rather go hungry than eat ‘cheap’ food. The older one just seems to need constant protein.
I am vege and pretty unfussy but don’t like freezer food. No alcohol and i shop at Aldi as much as poss but do use other supermarkets too.
DH works long hours and Ive just gone back full time and really struggling its impossible to cook from scratch every night.
Not sure if I want sympathy or strategies to be honest, its crippling me and im feeling really down.

Sorry. Misread my post. But they will.

You are doing wonderfully well. I can't see what the OP is spending £1k on - certainly not the dogs.

My late DH was lactose intolerant. There really were lots of things he could not eat without being ill and I read labels assiduously before I bought anything, kept to brands which suited him and that were also healthy, using fresh food and cooking from scratch whenever possible (he liked fish and chips from the chippie occasionally). He was disabled, unable to see much from his left eye (glaucoma made worse by covid lockdown) and 70% deaf, so that getting him across a road and down steps was a work of art, esp. as an injury from his crofting days (attacked and nearly killed by a cow) caused chronic pain, which was only alleviated in the last months of his life. My point throughout this discussion was ways to accommodate teenagers who won't eat certain things and are costing a lot to feed, with an understanding about special diets (and how to do them without busting the budget).

Totally agree!! We should stop "making do" and make some noise about this- we're being robbed here.

I’m glad you’ve pointed out that every case is different and not to judge. The point is, the OP knows herself what her ND child will and won’t eat. This is not usually a case of “they just prefer”. The Op knows her situation so suggesting she’s raised 2 children and might not know that some children will be fussy for no reason, other than they just don’t fancy certain things is quite frankly mental.

And that’s coming from the mother of an autistic child that will end up in hospital and almost did recently. He had a hospital stay last year because he won’t take any medication and ended up on a nebuliser for 4 days. That is the extremes that a lot of parents/carers of ND children can face.

A large proportion of the world's population is lactose intolerant. I am. It is not the same thing as the food neophobia that many ND people experience. At his most severe, DS2 couldn't even handle a piece of raw broccoli with no expectation of eating it without gagging. It has taken 18 years to get him to the point of not removing tiny bits of very well cooked carrot from his plate, so long as they are soaked in thick gravy - which it took 17 years to get him to tolerate.

There's a middle ground between spending 1000 a month on groceries and living off grass and lentils though. Shit I eat loads of butter and my groceries are 300 a month tops. In fairness I don't have dogs but I doubt dogs cost 700 a month.
I suppose it can be done if you buy the brand version of every food instead of the store version. For example Morrisons cornflakes is 80p a box but kellogs is £3 soo if you did that for every item you bought I can see how it would treble your bill. But still 1000 a month is insane. That's a whole month's wages to a lot of people.

Um I don't get why posters are acting like chili con carne and spaghetti Bolognese are bougie expensive meals. They are literally my go tos I make them multiple times a week. Mince is the cheapest type of meat right? Other than organ meats which we all agree taste like shit yes?

I think something isnt being mentioned because there's no way mince and lurpack are making that grocery bill 1000 a month

I am aware that a large proportion of the world's population is lactose intolerant. Most of them live in societies and cultures that do not use products containing milk, and certainly not cows' milk. But to be lactose intolerant in the UK now is very difficult, it makes planning a meal out something to think hard about, weighing up whether it is worth the risk of really bad diarrhoea tomorrow by just hoping a curry contains no lactose. It is forgoing most cheeses (we worked out my late DH could tolerate small amounts of goats' or ewes' cheese - ewes' milk cheese is difficult to find and again you have check the label carefully). It is making food at home from scratch and reading the labels on tins and packets, then weighing up the risk factor of a small amount of lactose. It is a disability, but not a visible one. My late DH could never eat certain foods, no coaxing to accept something he could not eat - he really could not eat a whole range of food, and pre-packaged foods were a nightmare, the most unlikely things contain lactose.

But to be lactose intolerant in the UK now is very difficult, it makes planning a meal out something to think hard about, weighing up whether it is worth the risk of really bad diarrhoea tomorrow by just hoping a curry contains no lactose.

At least it's a lot easier than it would have been 20 or even 10 years ago though! Not all menus list allergens etc, but at least they generally say if something is vegan etc.

How many are you feeding for £300 per month?

Myself, DH and one ds. I'm dubious that adding another ds would increase my bill by 700 if that's what you're getting at

How old is your DS, that works out at £10 per day for everything.

£10 a day for everything is workable if you cook from scratch and do not by brands. Beginning to feel OP is doing something very odd with her money.

Including toiletries and cleaning things, I do not think so.

How old is your child?

You missed the bit where I said I am lactose intolerant. It's a pain in the arse but not the same as having an involuntary reaction to most common everyday foods equivalent to having been offered a plateful of maggot infested excrement. I've also become gluten intolerant in old age. It's a limiting combination and even more of a pain in the arse, but does not prevent me from eating a balanced, healthy diet.

All milk contains lactose, by the way, whatever animal it comes from, unless it has been removed by lactase enzyme.

I find that hard to believe

I spent £126 today for two adults in Asda. Me and 19 year old ds. I ordinarily spend c £110 though plus maximum £20 Home Bargains first which includes cleaning products and good items e.g. Vegetable oxos cereal bars et c other good items.

I don't. You can be canny in M&S and they do deals. I doubt anyone would spend £1k in M&S food over a month with 4 to feed.

My food bills aren't as high, my main shop is around £125 a week (for 1 adult, 1 teenager, 2 children) but that is with being very careful with what I buy, no branded products etc. This is for food, washing powder, cleaning products, toiletries etc. Then I always end up doing a couple of top up shops in the week for things like milk, bread etc. I'm sick of food bills constantly going up and I hate having to stick to a strict shopping list with no luxuries. My two boys eat constantly, they really do seem to have hollow legs even the youngest who is only 7! My daughter, 11, has sensory issues with a lot of foods so I often end up having to cook her something different. I don't really have any advice on how to cut down on costs but just posting to say you're not alone!

Yes in my head I want to do it for 150 for 2a and 2kids with needs but we end up with top up shops during the week.

We also spend a lot on school dinners (120 a month. 15 a week each) . I think all together that's close to 800

And actually looking at it like this is the major reason we are struggling. We are not high income!

In fact that is nearly one of our entire income just on food.

And I'm trying to cut down each week. I used to. Mentally think 100 would do it but things are adding up so quickly. I initially assumed the op was loaded to be spending 1k and can't believe that adding it up and school dinners were spending 800+

For us mine don't like sandwiches that have been sat or when 1 food contaminated another and can easily get food versions over the smallest thing so we found they'd not eat their packed lunch at all on a far to regular basis 😕. So school lunches seemed preferable. We truly can't really afford this. Disability is expensive...

She's vegetarian.

School dinners are an expense. I am years out of date, but I found, that when working full-time it was worth it. I did not want (and actually refused) to make packed lunches as well as all the other cooking I did (I did tell DD and DS if they wanted packed lunches I would buy the wherewithal but they would have to make them up themselves - they decided they preferred school dinners). Time is a factor here as well as money, I think.

I don't have small children - they are grown up. But you could do food on £10 a day - you would probably cook from scratch. Toiletries etc are not daily purchases so will even out over a month.

This who say do a big shop then a top up shop - why not buy bread and milk extra and freeze it

Obv need a freezer but will save money not going twice a week and buying more

Or once it's gone it's gone for the week ans do without

Guess depends what topping up with ?