Sick to death of grocery costs (1k/ month)

[Icannotbudget]

Our grocery bill has slowly increased and is now around 1k per month. This is for two adults, two very active teenage boys, and two dogs. This includes everything you would get from a supermarket eg personal care and laundry/ cleaning stuff.
Both kids are neurodivergent one in particular is very fussy and would rather go hungry than eat ‘cheap’ food. The older one just seems to need constant protein.
I am vege and pretty unfussy but don’t like freezer food. No alcohol and i shop at Aldi as much as poss but do use other supermarkets too.
DH works long hours and Ive just gone back full time and really struggling its impossible to cook from scratch every night.
Not sure if I want sympathy or strategies to be honest, its crippling me and im feeling really down.

Genius!

One thing is that despite the whole "mothers bring up your boys better" cry when they are being shits, actually it's male role models that they get their likely behaviour from.

If there isn't a father in the picture then it's uncles, family riends etc

Sadly its often poor influences like tiktok, influencers etc who set the example and not in a good way.
Poor male role models are extremely damaging and its often pushed down the generations.

Meal planning as much as possible is useful. As is having preferred brand of chicken nugs/noodles etc in the house...

It seems very high. Realistically it should be more like £600 a month. I found certain supermarket brand items were as accepted as branded ones. Waitrose squash, Sainsbury's baked beans (26p a can!), Waitrose chicken nugs etc have saved us loads of money. The other thing we noticed was that Sainsbury's Economy Brand Mozzarella balls were liked as much as super-expensive ones. It's trickier but not impossible to get cheaper items.

Stuffed pitta with ham and cheese, wraps, breaded chicken escalopes which you can add Katsu and rice to for you are great. Try adapting what you're eating rather than cooking separate meals: so pasta in sauce for you, plain pasta with grated cheese for them.

Several of these restrictions apply to me (lone parent, autistic child, low income) and I think your post is a load of rubbish, sorry.

The privilege on this thread comes from
parents saying their kids will ‘only’ eat Lurpak and ‘need’ fresh berries and tons of protein.

I agree, some posters have no idea what life is like for families who are really struggling, and some of the tips are so obvious they can come across as patronising, whether that’s intentional or not.

But equally, there are posters who are just responding to the general theme of the thread by sharing what works for them. And that’s ok. Some reading this thread will be experiencing grinding poverty that massively limits their options, but a larger percentage of readers will be worrying that their food bills are getting out of control, or just be looking to save money.

And not everyone can be arsed!

on a weekend, bottomless brunch with the girls V batch cooking… which to do… hmmm

@PamPamPamPam its quite clear you do not have children.

@TheSpoonyNavyReader

is it? Why?

Sounds a lot like my family, we're all autistic we fast learned that it was easier to buy bulk, chicken pieces, mince that kind of thing, proper vegetables. For a normal meal I'll get something like chicken out, for me I'll leave it plain but for my hubby and son I bread crumb it myself or sometimes son likes it shredded, maybe do cornflake chicken that kind of thing. My son didn't like cheap stuff but he thinks my homemade nuggets are luxury ones and that my homemade burgers or meatballs are from Hello Fresh (which I stopped after stealing all the good recipes) then bought ingredients from Aldi. When I do burgers or meatballs I use the mince. I sometimes prefer veggie stuff so use Quorn at times, I do pasties with meat filling a d fill my own with a veg in white sauce, but just portion everything separately before it's frozen so I only need to get what I want out. It's hard having to do a few different meals, we use two air fryers so usually I can do hubby's and sons together and mine separate. but so long as you stick the the same food types and buy bulk it works. We are a family of 3 or 4 including the dog. Our budget is £80 a week. Barring milk and bread. And maybe an extra £50 a month for toiletries which we do separately when required. Usually because we get a lot for Christmas so it's only the late part of the year we need to really top up. Thankfully none of us are fussy with toiletries so toothpaste, loo roll etc is most welcome need until Christmas supply has run down.

We are same size family, (one dog) dog food is not included in the weekly shop and we have got it down to £750. Also 1 fussy child. We meticulously plan the food shops and subscribe to tescos clubcard plus which saves us 20% off two shops (up to £200). So we do two £200 shops a month and stock up on stuff we can, including massive trays of chicken and freeze.

Honestly it's exhausting . I'm with you.

Wow, we are a family of four with two boys that eat for England roughly every ten minutes. We spend £60 a week on food, max is £80. We food prep and batch cook meals. Youngest is slightly fussy but we have got him to cook with us and make meals which has helped to broaden his palate. We even get weekly deliveries from our local butcher for meat. This is excessive!

@TheSpoonyNavyReader what makes that clear to you? The fact that I won't martyr myself to the greed of others?

Let me paint a nice picture for you: I'm a first generation immigrant and we came here as asylum seekers. Believe me when I say that my childhood was not filled with any sense of excess or indulgence. My parents made it very clear what the boundaries were when it came to spending (including food) and I would have been ashamed of myself if I had ever felt for one second that my greed (and in this particular instance it is pure greed) was causing my mother undue stress, or worse, hunger, because she was denying herself.

In the particular example you have just responded to, that poster has spoken to her son about it only to be told that "that's what everyone eats". So he is aware of his mum's struggle and is still more concerned with his own needs. Quite frankly in my culture he would have been kicked out by now, but I appreciate that people handle these situations in different ways.

ND aside, if you raise entitled children you can't be surprised when they turn into entitled adults.

And let’s not forget, this is a thread started by someone who spends a THOUSAND POUNDS on food every month and is ‘sick to death of grocery costs’.

This isn’t a thread about poverty.

For those suggesting you put cheap butter in the lurpack tubs then please don’t. When you start messing with ‘safe’ foods that ND people like then you risk stopping them from eating altogether as they will know and won’t trust you again. I work with a child who will only eat a certain brand of chicken meal. Their parents have tried everything to get them to eat including using the packaging and swapping the contents and it didn’t work. This child - age 5 - would end up in hospital being tube fed because their food avoidance was so bad. It’s a serious condition which shouldn’t be messed with. Many ND young people have sensory issues around food and even without a ARFID diagnosis they are still very similar.

As for PIP/DLA you can try to claim. I claim for my autistic teen. You need to prove they need more support in various areas than peers their same age. If you are putting strategies in place to support them which cost money - such as buying certain brands of food due to limited diet - then this can be something listed. You’d need a professional to write a letter to support such as a GP/teacher etc. My ND teen appears NT to most people looking in on the outside but some of the battles we have at home around personal hygiene for example mean that she needs so much more additional support and resources. I guess there’s no harm in applying if you think you’d be turned down but if you get awarded it then it’s a bonus. It’s a truly negative experience and you have to think of your child/young person on their worst days.

@LuckySantangelo35 oh it's just a nice bit of misogyny there by @TheSpoonyNavyReader - I guess I am not the "right" type of woman to be a mother in their eyes. Maybe I need to start some light self flagellation on my journey to motherhood martyrdom?

OP isn't spending £1k on just food per month, that's her full groceries (toiletries, cleaning supplies etc.) and includes dog's food

I’m also a LP and have been on a low income. (Bit better now). I grew up in a LP v low income household and in desperate food poverty.

So I’m speaking of what I know. If you think it’s “rubbish” that some people may not be able to afford to buy chest freezers, bulk buy, or have the mental or financial capacity for weeks of meal planning and prep- cool. If you think kids with ARFID wouldn’t rather starve than eat a food swap? Cool. Go to an ED clinic and ask the pros what they reckon.

But I know what I’ve seen and experienced. And I know what I’ve seen friends experience. And it’s what I’ve written out so 🤷‍♀️

You have finally said ND aside, which the OP has said causes her issues.

I am a mother of 4, 2 with ASC and work with kids with ASC, I will unashamedly provide my kids with food that is safe to them, my ASC kids would rather end up in hospital then eat food that was not safe for them.

As you have said in PP people with disabilities do not need to be told what to do and want to do what is right for them, they do not need people like you telling them that they should follow a certain set of rules.

When you have walked in my shoes then you can judge. Any parent want their child feed and healthy. If that means safe food and vitamins then so be it.

It wasn’t started as a thread about poverty, no. But it quickly became a place for posters to share their “thrifty tips” that involve massive chest freezers, setting up greenhouses, and bulk buying meat from Costco, or having an intricate knowledge of the properties and nutritional benefits of various 10kg bags of legumes- all of which may be out of reach of people who ARE in poverty.

And as this is a thread in “cost of living”, about the cost of food, on a public forum, which may well be seen by people who ARE in really struggling, who have landed here looking for answers, & reading these would likely feel utterly frustrated - I wanted to acknowledge that experience.

@TheSpoonyNavyReader you do realise that the post you quoted in reference to your statement about me clearly not being a mother related to another poster's grown up son wanting excess amounts of food? It was not about ND and it was not about children.

You are conflating lots of different issues and viewpoints together to develop a narrative that suits your own agenda.

The conversation has moved on (as conversations often do) to considering issues of general budgeting, excess food consumption and sexism. So yes, some of my comments are not actually focusing on neurodiversity because I am capable of having more than one train of thought.

And you still don't know if - shock horror - I am a parent...

My word, that is a lot! I shop mostly at aldi, tesco and sainsburys for the things we can't get there. Planning meals, having a chest freezer, batch cooking, also trips to freezer supermarkets like farm foods and heron, means we can stretch the groceries out. Does some of your food go to waste or is it all consumed? With NDC I understand, but it doesn't mean you ha e to buy branded? Cheaper option with a favourite sauce works for us, same beige brand meals but cheaper. Xx

@forgotmyusername1 would love a tested method for yogurt please- especially greek style if you have it? I've got an instant pot.

If the government has started paying out money for it, I'm sure there will be loads diagnosed.

Actually I think this has got worse since he has been away at college surrounded by undoubtedly very privileged young people. You are right it is the thoughtlessness I object to and the waste when having requested all this food he then doesn't eat it. I am doing my best to keep the lines of communication open and trying to find a solution we can all live with.

My son might be ND but absolutely does not have ARFID he is just a human dustbin.