Constantly thinking about how skint inam is exhausting

[SausagesAreAmazing]

Just that really, and having to keep telling the kids that we can't have/do that thing. Money is at the forefront of my mind every waking minute. I'm behind with the council tax, credit card maxed, thankfully I've made the rent this month.
So sick of working so hard for so little.
I'm hoping for a Christmas miracle!
Sorry, just ranting.

sorry to hear that @SausagesAreAmazing do you have a budget that you write down or an app you use? That can help sometimes to get it down on paper and make a plan of sorts. sending hugs to you x

Hello everyone
We've had a number of reports from people concerned about this thread so, as we usually do in these circs, we're putting our heads round the door with some important reminders.

Right now we can't see any evidence to indicate that the OP isn't above board – if we did, we'd remove the thread straight away. But the truth is that, sadly, we at MNHQ can't know with 100% certainty that any poster is genuine, no matter who they are or how long they have been here. As frustrating as it is, we're not able to vouch for anyone here.

So we always ask users to remember that not everyone on the internet is who they say they are – and remind folk not to give more to another poster, either financially (in cash or gifts) or emotionally (in time or care and support) than they'd be prepared to lose if things went wrong. Though, we strongly advise against parting with any cash or giving away your personal details, and if you receive a PM which makes you uneasy - report it to us and we’ll take a look.

We've compiled some useful links posted by Mumsnetters into a financial issues webguide, so that people experiencing difficulties can find all the relevant information in one place.

Sorry to hijack your thread briefly there, OP – we really hope you get it all sorted soon.

Christ! I wasn't meaning to cause any upset anywhere! Was just having a vent!
I've been thinking about being brassic for weeks. It's boring and stressful.

Sorry I've caused distress anywhere, was just trying to dump some of mine!

No one has offered me any money, and if they did, I'd refuse it.

@MNHQ I've been around for years under various names.

@itsmeagainagain my income is variable due yo two different jobs, one of which is my own business. My client base varies, this isn't helpful. However, I've been chugging along ok up until August when I had little work. I've been playing catch up since, and chasing my tail. Everything has gone up.

I know there are many people on a similar boat.

Just need to organise myself better.

@SausagesAreAmazing I find the moneysavingexpert site a really great resource both for budgeting and saving money on various bills. It's horrible worrying all the time though I've been there. Definitely recommend getting things down on paper as scary as that may seem. all the best

@SausagesAreAmazing sorry to hear this. I know it may take a bit of time, but if you have several monthly direct debits, maybe look into the MSE switching bank incentives to get a bit of money for Christmas. A few banks are offering £150-£200 at the moment to switch.

Do you get help with your rent via HB or housing element of UC? If so, you could apply for a DHP via your local council.

Also, you could apply for the housing support fund via your council too. Even if you don't fit their criteria, it's worth applying if you're in exceptional hardship.

Finally, CAB can help you with your debts.

I think it's awful that people get reported just for talking about money!

@SausagesAreAmazing I hear you, it is draining. I agree about MSE. I learnt a lot from there - especially how to become really competitive with myself about saving money, which helped me keep going.

Sending you a hug, OP.

One thing I started doing recently that helps: moving most of my monthly disposable income into a savings account at the start of the month. Then I have to make a conscious decision to do a transfer several times a month to keep spending.

It's so easy to spend when it's just sat there, available on your debit card.

We don't see the 'I earn £80k and am skint' ones getting reported but god forbid someone is genuinely worried.

Sorry you got reported. No idea why - you didn't say anything wrong as far as I can see. Agree with the being skint is exhausting though. When I do my online shop I have open several of my supermarkets accounts so I can compare the price of each item i want to buy. It takes ages to do and I get confused but I am trying to save money where I can. Also worrying about dentist costs. Having some issues with my teeth and my dentist has just gone private. Toothache/gum ache and money worries are not a good combination.

Hugs - it's exhausting.

So sorry you are going through this. I agree it completely exhausting. By time I pay my bills I am left with £40 a month to do fuel, food, gas and electricity.
This last year has been really bad finically for me. And can not see a end in site. Can not even think about Christmas. Have all my bill written down there nothing I can cut. All the luxuries are already gone.

Awful to chide the OP for writing this...
OP, that must make you feel almost like you should feel bad for having the worries and exhaustion which lack of money causes- which is terrible! So many people are struggling right now and you should be able to look for understanding and support on here.

Sorry I don't have any more insight than that. It's so demoralising to have money in mind all the time; these worries can close down some of the beauty and possibility of life, which is sad. I hope things get better really soon.

I feel for you OP
sick of some threads saying everyone should be grateful unless they are absolutely in the pits eating dust.

It's not wrong to want to live reasonably comfortable when your working hard.
I have been hoping costs of things blow over for everyone soon and it starts to come back down but just seems to get worse and worse.

It is so sad x

I think @ImaniMumsnet was wrong to post the message they did when the OP had asked for nothing.

It sometimes feels like people who are not wealthy are not welcome to discuss the realities of their lives.

I really feel for you @SausagesAreAmazing , I've been there and I know how draining it is. You feel like you're running so fast just to stay still.

One thing that DH and I did when we were at our lowest was to take cash and put it in an envelope, each marked "food", "pets" and "spends". The spends envelope had £10 in it, which in those days was enough for us to get a cheap takeaway Chinese. Somehow it just felt psychologically better to know that we could still have a treat if we wanted to. The other envelopes were more interesting - the pets got fewer treats but that's no bad thing (they still got their decent food), but our food one was a revelation. It's amazing how much it made us consider each £1 spent, especially as the amount decreased during the month!

(We didn't budget separately for petrol by the way, because that was what it was - we both worked and needed our cars to get there.)

I know that there's no easy answer though, so I hope you'll accept a hug from a wee dumpy Scottish woman through the internet 🤗

Can’t believe how quickly this is was reported, ridiculous. Op is discussing money and being skint in the cost of living topic. I know people scam all the time but come on! There were no hints of that. It will put people off asking for advice if they are made to feel like they are begging.

Op I’m sorry things are tough but I’d reiterate that there are budgeting tools to help, but this doesn’t always help when you are on an irregular income. The money saving expert site and forums can be helpful too.

Jesus who in their right mind reports someone for posting a thread about how skint they are? I guess if op posted about how much money she had and didn't know which cashmere sweater to buy that would be ok.

This pathetic attitude is actually really putting me off this site.

@ImaniMumsnet was there really any need for that?

Life can be really tough sometimes. I truly feel for you. It would be worthwhile you speaking to the council about your Council Tax arrears, if you haven’t already done so. They may be able to help you with an affordable repayment plan and this would perhaps take some of the worry off your shoulders. Have a look at local Facebook pages, where you often see postings about local initiatives- food banks, warm spaces with hot meals etc.

It @ImaniMumsnet is a standard one when people post about being skint has been for years - what I don’t understand is the same as the above poster, the ‘I earn 80k but am so poor’ threads are allowed to continue unmentioned but someone says they’re actually genuinely skint and are made to feel like shite.

OP - stop paying the credit card, speak to StepChange to get a dmp in place - reduce the monthly payments and get the interest frozen. Use the difference to build up a £500 buffer for things going wrong, best thing I ever did. Still skint - but no longer sleepless over it 😊

Thanks everyone, I wrote a post yesterday that I obviously didn't post properly!
I'm going to have a look at the MSE stuff, and contact the credit card people.
What a bloody mess.

Bah!

Sorry things are so difficult. We are not struggling now as most of the kids left home but when they were little I was forever lying awake worrying about bills, constantly making lists to price things up etc and it is exhausting.

@SausagesAreAmazing

Sorry your struggling right now

It's bloody shit isn't it.

For a year now I've been self employed and although it's going well I'm constantly worrying about money and it's bloody draining

Having a week off with a nasty virus in September meant I lost a weeks worth of earnings and a week for half term off with the dc has meant another week of no earnings so I feel like I'm constantly chasing my tail to catch up

Everything has really got so expensive so I find I'm constantly budgeting in my head and thinking of other ways to save.

I've got a 0% credit card that I've not used for a long time and just before the 0% was about to end they offered to lengthen the offer if I spend on the card within 3 months so I'm going g to use it to do Xmas gifts this year so that's helped.

Maybe something like that could take the pressure off you?

Instead of popping to sainsburys cause it's nearby a few times a week we went and did a weeks worth of shopping in one go at an Aldi this week and had a set amount in mind and a list.

It's still fairly mild where we live so the hearings only gone on a couple of times just to take the chill of the air and stop any damp and we have oodies etc.

We are with now tv for tv and have recently gone into the app to cancel and got offered half price for 6 months so that's saved around £20 a month.

We also called and got a good deal on our internet and landline so that's less than £30 a month aswell now.

I worked out just changing the tv the internet and the thermostat will save around £50 a month and shopping in Aldi just once a week will save around £120 a month so I'm not panicking so much now.

Do you have a set budget for everything ?

I find having it all written down each month really helps my mind as the figures are on paper and not buzzing round in my head then.

It's been so busy I had about 6 months of winging it and realised that's not really helped so going back to writing it all down has put my mind at rest more.