Every month it gets worse

[livingcostsrising]

We have an objectively decent income.
But the rising costs are just depressing. Six of us, two adult kids who pay rent that covers their food and a bit towards bills. Two younger ones. A cat.
£4k allocated to go out every month.
I try to save the rent towards unexpected bills.

Talktalk is £26 a month for quite a few TV channels and decent broadband

If you can get into meal planning it really does make the most of your money, but it takes a while to get into the swing.
there are loads on YouTube, also I think if you look on Mumsnet itself there are lots of threads on budget meals and planning.

Honestly, I don’t get why you are so reluctant to simply tell your adult children that they need to pay more. I know you say they are saving to move out and that it is quite accepted in their group to live with parents until late 20s but unless they are extremely low-paid they can definitely contribute more than £225 a month and still save. Their contribution currently in no way reflects what are they are receiving in return.

You could ask the vet if he would be covered for kidney disease. I know my friend was only covered for 1 month at 12 years old. I would never get insurance for this reason

I need to read the policy again I think

@MikeRafone @reesewithoutaspoon thank you I think this is the way forward

I've had a difficult relationship at times with the older ones, nothing major but lots of guilt at not being around as much when the younger two were unwell. I think I'm a bit scared of upsetting the current balance. Maybe I could introduce a rent increase with warning? So after Christmas increase it a bit.

Agree with @AlohaRose - your adult dc should be paying more.

Also you are saving £75 'for uni'? Imo anyone who has money to save isn't struggling. Also you must have Sky with that tv cost, again this doesn't indicate struggling.

You simply have a list of stuff you aren't prepared to give up, including compromising on food by the sounds of it. I'm not really sure anyone can give you advice here.

I think you'd be hard pressed to reduce your supermarket bill with 6 of you. Couple of years ago I could get away with about £300 p/m, now it's closer to £600 and that's after one DC left home! Food inflation is massive.
Insurance has gone up significantly as well, car insurance 300 last year, 400 when I renewed the other day.

I know this isn't very helpful but guess I'm just saying I see and feel it too, thing is, these are significant % increases, we've never seen anything like it (gen x).
Inflation is quite a bit higher here than elsewhere, US and in EU. Part of the UK'S general economic malaise..

You simply have a list of stuff you aren't prepared to give up, including compromising on food by the sounds of it. I'm not really sure anyone can give you advice here.

I'm not sure where you have got that from? I know I'm wasting money in places that's why I've posted.
I've taken on board all the recommendations to look at Lidl and Aldi, instead of thinking that sticking to Tesco for points is good and I'm going to try batch cooking.

I don't have Sky, I broke the tv and broadband down earlier in the thread.

I'm happy to agree I am spending money badly in places but I'm looking for advice or why post?

I'm panicking over uni hence saving a random amount because I know we can't afford what people on here post all the time to top up, or fund accommodation of £6k a year.

Checked the cat policy. Death or missing is £750 max due to age

Fees up to £3500 per illness up to £20000 in total

£30 premium used to be £18

I would definitely get a slow cooker, I use mine at least 4x week.
Up the DCs contributions to a realistic figure, £225/ month is far too low; DS was paying £120 / month 20 years ago (that included having everything done for him including packed lunches)
You aren’t doing them any favours by not being honest what the COL actually is.

Can you stock up with food when Tesco do the four for the price of 3 offer on frozen food. They do this quite regularly and often the items are reduced too.

So for example 3 weeks ago they had the offer on and they had 4 for 3 on pizza and the pizza was also reduced to £1.5 from £2. Now I know pizza is not the most healthy of meals but I bought 16 of them and they are in the freezer to eat one a week over a few months. So 16 pizzas would normally have cost £32 but only cost £18 which is a huge saving.

You can buy healthier things - they do it with their fish, scampi, vegetarian food, veggies and all kinds of things. Just watch out for the fact that the cheapest item is the free one. My freezer and fridge are bursting but apart from buying fresh stuff I'm sorted for 3 months. It saves you quite a lot. They do it on non frozen stuff too.

It also stops you ordering takeaway if you have pizza in the freezer.

Op, I know you e explained about the TV etc, but you are assuming any change would tie you into a new contract which might not be the case. You need to phone them up and ask them what you can do because you can't afford it anymore. If you don't ask you won't know.

I totally understand why you don't want to rock the boat with the older DC, but how long have they been paying that amount for? Rather than outright increase, is there a way of reducing what you pay for, for them.

For example, IMHO, the Netflix should go. Who uses it most? If the older DC could they start paying for it?

WRT meal plans, your're right to plan. Are you also buying snacks, treats, soft drinks and so on? I find that sort of thing is disproportionality expensive, especially individually packaged snacks.

And finally, have you done all you can in terms of heating reduction, insulation, length & temperature of showers etc.

Please don't put the phones on a credit card. Getting that laid off in December will be a huge milestone.

Sorry - last thought - if you are buying pricey snacks/treats/drinks for the older DC,that could be something else which has to be cut back or they have to pay for.

People really have it in for your older DC op!

If they left your home and went into a house share, how would that leave you financially?

I think if they left I would be better off, I worked out that after their food they pay about £20 a week to other bills.
I know kids should be on 'mates rates' and be able to save, it's hard as a lot of their friends are from genuinely wealthy families (as opposed to decent income) so pay nothing or had deposits paid. I know that's not us but striking a balance is tricky first time round.

I have a shower timer and am the only one that uses it. I'm constantly on edge and knocking on doors after seven minutes. House is quite well insulated, and managing an hour a day of central heating at the moment and six hours hot water.

Ring is a doorbell app so we can monitor via video - needed something as we had a couple of incidents recently of people trying door handles and wandering up the short drive 😲

I think a lot goes on fizzy drinks, I might buy much less and let them get for themselves. Snacks are ok I think, I've started buying the huge boxes of crisps and packets of biscuits rather than individually wrapped ones. They make toasties - we got through £28 of cheddar last month.

What do you mean 6 hours hot water?
Do you have a tank? If so you likely don't need hot water that long

I think the big one is adult children paying . £225 isn’t a huge amount a month if that’s including all food, utilities, etc. They wouldn’t be able to rent, own utilities and buy food themselves on that if they moved out.
I would have a chat with them. Point out that everything have increased ie food bill extra £300 a month etc..
I would then say you charge them both £300 a month instead for now. That’s an extra £150 between them a month, but only £75 each, and they still get a bargain.

I paid £60 a week (£240) 20 odd years ago.

Yes we have the old fashioned one. Because of the times people are up and leaving it is on for three hours am and pm each or people don't have hot water because it's cooled down too much (shift work and a commute)

Your two adult kids will be aware we’re in a cost of living situation and as they live with you, they’ll also be aware you and your husband are struggling. Let me put it even more clearly - they are living the life of Riley and taking the piss. You should be charging them at least £400 all inclusive pcm. Money you could be using to fund your retirement - most people need an extra pension these days. Do you really want to only rely on your state pension?

The op has taken on LOADS of advice here. She’s already considering increasing adult DC rent, changing supermarkets, meal planning…

I sympathise about the cat insurance OP. My boy is 17 and his insurance is £100 a month (our 1yo is only £9 a month) because he has a health condition so make claims every 3 months. It has a maximum limit of £4000 on what we are covered for on his illness so only have 1 more year covered and then if he's still around will have to pay ourselves. But, given his bills are several hundred pounds every quarter, I'm still better off with the insurance. Even with his health condition he's super healthy and doesn't act his age (truth be told, he can be a bit of a dick! ) so I reckon he has a few years left in him yet.

We also have a mortgage and council tax on par with yours and a food bill the same. It's a tough time financially for so many people.

I split our shopping so one week tesco and one week aldi. To be fair, I don't notice a huge difference in costs bit things like the tesco double roll loo rolls are much better value than aldi loo roll. Cereal as well in tescos tends to be cheaper than aldi. But snacks and treats are often cheaper at aldi, but I wouldn't say its a huge life changing cost difference. I buy all the cheapest tesco stuff anyway!

I'm dreading my car insurance renewal next year. I had two car accidents this year. One in snow where my car just skidded in slow motion into a car parked on a bend, and one my fault when I nudged the back of someone. Their car was fine but mine needed quite a bit now work as I knocked out the sensors.

Hoping for a payrise, thats for sure!

My car , fingers crossed, is ok because I trust the lovely garage I found a few years ago - always had okay charges for things and often no charge for incidental bits. (Another reason not to move!)

I do feel quite inspired that there are little things I can do, will ring Virgin this week/next week to see if we can drop without being on a contract again.

I've raised changing activity with the youngest one, kind of casually, and they are ok to think of looking at something else. I've sold it on more free time to lie in at weekends in a sort of casual way. If it halved for example that would be great.

I'm torn on the cat. I just asked dh if it was still worth paying because she could get ill and he was like 'we'd put her down!' So clearly not as attached as me 😲

I'm going to look properly at the meal planning ideas again over the weekend as I'm working all tomorrow again, but I think that's a way forward and batch cooking. It has to be simple - I do have a cookbook but the ingredient lists are two columns for some things ! I can cook bolognese (lasagna); cheese and potato pie; cheats macaroni; curry; and assemble chilli with a jar, maybe I could learn that next.

Hi,
You can get a water tank jacket for 20 odd quid.
Will improve performance and reduce loss of heat. Very easy to install
Still believe is too long, our hot water is on 45 min in the morning and 45 minutes in the evening.
3 daily showers and dishes (no dishwasher) and very rarely needs boosting