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Every month it gets worse

153 replies

livingcostsrising · 26/10/2023 08:11

We have an objectively decent income.
But the rising costs are just depressing. Six of us, two adult kids who pay rent that covers their food and a bit towards bills. Two younger ones. A cat.
£4k allocated to go out every month.
I try to save the rent towards unexpected bills.

OP posts:
livingcostsrising · 26/10/2023 13:39

We can't move, we have considered it but any further from work will be too far, and nearer too expensive. School and therapy/nhs etc - I don't know if we 'properly' moved we would be any better off because the salary would reduce as well.

Phones - I'm very tempted to use the credit card saving to pay off the remaining credit and move to sim only.

Cat - I wouldn't prolong a miserable life I would be very worried about pain and first aid type intervention?

OP posts:
MatthewsMumFromTikTok · 26/10/2023 13:47

What about all those kids clubs?

That's the cost of a food shop on those alone

juneybean · 26/10/2023 13:49

At 16, I wouldn't bother with cat insurance personally, they've had good innings....

Throwaway0912 · 26/10/2023 13:52

With the cat, even if it was an illness that you decided not to treat and prolong their suffering, you could be looking at £1000 just to find out the cause and put to sleep.

The 4k I mentioned earlier, we were around £1000 for initial vet visit to diagnose the (treatable) illness and medication. He then took unwell over the weekend and we had an emergency vet visit (£2k) which again was a treatable illness and wouldn't have been life limiting. His last vet visit where he was ultimately put to sleep was routine as part of his ongoing illness and we decided to let him go at that point. That bill was £1200. Now we could have pulled the heroics and paid more and kept him going for another year or so, but it felt like the right time.

My point is, none of it was heroics or pushing to keep an unwell cat longer than we should have. It was all fairly routine, or responsible ownership (you're not going to leave your cat in pain or unwell over the weekend, and an emergency vet is your only option at that point).

I've always been against pet insurance as it feels like a con, and have always just saved a separate pot for vet fees. We've had some dogs who have had nothing except routine checks and neutering, one dog who had bloat and was an emergency 5k op, and the cat who surprised us all with his expensive last few months. It's the luck of the draw really but given you realistically don't have a lot of years left to pay it, and you're already trying to reduce outgoings, I think I'd err on the side of caution and keep the insurance. Although I do see other posters points about cancelling it, but it just seems like too much of a risk at this point.

MatthewsMumFromTikTok · 26/10/2023 13:53

How much would you actually save by getting rid of just the cat insurance?

napody · 26/10/2023 13:54

MatthewsMumFromTikTok · 26/10/2023 13:47

What about all those kids clubs?

That's the cost of a food shop on those alone

Two people saying cut childs clubs- that's a bit depressing. It wouldn't cover a food shop, and the child in question has more then likely missed a couple of years of clubs over Covid. I'd make older kids pay an extra £10ish a week rather than cut the youngests clubs.

Clubtropicanadrinksare3 · 26/10/2023 14:02

For food bills: batchcook bolognaise sauce. Do one meat and one veggie if you like. Then you just boil up the cheap spaghetti and reheat the sauce. Saves money and bother.
slow cooker and air fryer are always cheaper than a big oven. I make a big curry or casserole when I’m skint and then alternate rice and baked potatoes with it. Cottage pie is also a staple here. You’re one with the swallowing issues, have you requested high calorie supplement drinks from their HCP? Then you can relax a bit if they aren’t eating so well?
benefits? Are you claiming everything you can? Countless people are surprised when they see they can actually get some help.
I think you sound really self aware and honest about your spending and admitting you’re not much of a cook, I think another poster might suggest a good book or blogger that specialises in cheap hearty meals.I also agree adult kids are being a bit stingy and they could contribute a bit more.

Gingercreams · 26/10/2023 14:04

We don't have cat accidents because our last two cats have been housecats. We do put up with a litter box but we know they are not going to get attacked or run over. Our current cat, like our previous cat, does go out with us in the back garden under supervision so somebody is always out with her.

Chewbecca · 26/10/2023 14:13

I wouldn't pay off the phone contracts, just wait until they are done then get a SIM only with he same phone for £10 a month (or less).
I wouldn't do anything that 'costs now to save long run' in fact, this should be a long term goal.
I am unsure why you are trying to save the DC's rent? That's their contribution towards bills and food and I think you should allow yourself to use it for just that.
I would just go through every bill as it comes in and check it is needed / can't be cheaper.
We cancelled our pet insurance for our 17yo cat as I know I wouldn't put her through treatment if anything major occurs and it never seems to cover anything minor anyway! I also don't have Amazon prime, stuff arrives with free delivery in a day or two without it anyway. We don't have any TV except for the TV licence and it has more than enough for us.
Money Saving Expert site has a great board for budgeting and cutting bills.

GreatShaker · 26/10/2023 14:14

Take a set amount from your adult kids and get them to buy their own food. It will do them good to see the real costs involved.

My friend has a young adult son on DLA living at home. It’s been great for him to have to budget his own food shop and clothing needs vs hobbies and he can’t complain to her when favourite treats aren’t available. She also takes an amount for bills.

MatthewsMumFromTikTok · 26/10/2023 14:17

Buying there own food only works if you have separate spaces to store it all.... their own cupboard, fridge shelf, freezer drawer etc

Resilience · 26/10/2023 14:20

You sound in a similar situation to me in that my mortgage is horrendous and leaves me less well off than people might think.

I don't really have any clever advice sorry but can sympathise.

The only other thing is your credit card payment. Can you reduce that? I took 3 years once to clear a credit card by transferring it between 0% deals and paying only what I could afford.

LovelyGreenCushions · 26/10/2023 14:26

My virgin was £90 odd they wanted £120 to renew. Cancelled and sat it out as tgey dropped the price day by day
now pay £36 (think this is the virgin £55 odd package reduced for 18 months) and 3.99 for now tv

mewkins · 26/10/2023 14:29

AlohaRose · 26/10/2023 09:44

Your adult working children need to pay more! Between two, £450 is nothing! What kind of independent flat-living/house share (with food!) would they get for £225 per month?!

Agree with this. They are adults with jobs. If I were supporting two extra adults I would also struggle. They also need to do their fair share of all household chores if they're not already.

spitefulandbadgrammar · 26/10/2023 14:44

Are you paying to watch Netflix on more than one screen? Since you can’t save on the mortgage I think your only options are (a) the adult children contribute more money or (b) tinker at the edges, and stuff like two people in the house both watching different Netflix shows because they can’t agree is a luxury for those with the budget not to have to bicker. And replicate that across all bulls and meals and food. Or (c) combination of the above.

2023shady · 26/10/2023 15:12

If it helps with BT I got a new internet contract with them where Netflix and NOW Tv is included for the year
Due to the car ploughing into the local box and being without internet for 2 weeks I also got 2 months free internet, unlimited data for 2 weeks and £9 something for every working day without internet. So I've done quite well out of it!!

Basic stuff like use Quidco for anything you buy especially car insurance, I got £50 cashback for car insurance recently

livingcostsrising · 26/10/2023 15:16

Clubtropicanadrinksare3 · 26/10/2023 14:02

For food bills: batchcook bolognaise sauce. Do one meat and one veggie if you like. Then you just boil up the cheap spaghetti and reheat the sauce. Saves money and bother.
slow cooker and air fryer are always cheaper than a big oven. I make a big curry or casserole when I’m skint and then alternate rice and baked potatoes with it. Cottage pie is also a staple here. You’re one with the swallowing issues, have you requested high calorie supplement drinks from their HCP? Then you can relax a bit if they aren’t eating so well?
benefits? Are you claiming everything you can? Countless people are surprised when they see they can actually get some help.
I think you sound really self aware and honest about your spending and admitting you’re not much of a cook, I think another poster might suggest a good book or blogger that specialises in cheap hearty meals.I also agree adult kids are being a bit stingy and they could contribute a bit more.

Thank you, I think my mum (local) would let me use her spare freezer thinking about it. That would be a really good way of saving a bit.

OP posts:
livingcostsrising · 26/10/2023 15:17

The kids paying rent - I think that they would end up still using things like bread and milk and I don't really have much space, we have a tiny galley kitchen.

OP posts:
livingcostsrising · 26/10/2023 15:23

2023shady · 26/10/2023 15:12

If it helps with BT I got a new internet contract with them where Netflix and NOW Tv is included for the year
Due to the car ploughing into the local box and being without internet for 2 weeks I also got 2 months free internet, unlimited data for 2 weeks and £9 something for every working day without internet. So I've done quite well out of it!!

Basic stuff like use Quidco for anything you buy especially car insurance, I got £50 cashback for car insurance recently

Yes this does help! I can't wait for them to be here early 2024.

The reason for trying to save some of the rent was for those unexpected costs like last year a fence blew down, and we had a flood that wasn't covered by insurance so having some emergency money felt important?

OP posts:
reesewithoutaspoon · 26/10/2023 15:44

Can you just go internet only with virgin. They do do it, though they never offered it on the website, when I finally left because I wanted internet only and they only seemed to have packages with TV and landline as well. They were suddenly able to offer internet only. Still left to BT because I despise virgin.

livingcostsrising · 26/10/2023 15:52

I am a bit wary of being tied into a new contract with them, as I'm counting the days - I don't know if removing television would count as a new contract for two years. We are out of contract and waiting to be able to move.

Kids activities - I have spoken to them about moving. It's tricky as it's been a good respite activity but actually it is really expensive, and less justifiable. There might be a cheaper option that would be fun.

OP posts:
livingcostsrising · 26/10/2023 15:54

Thank you for the money saving expert tip I will also look there

OP posts:
PositanoBay · 26/10/2023 16:04

Phones for four
£94
Halve this by getting SIM only deals. 12.50 from Tesco and it uses O2 so a good deal. Then any new phones can be bought outright for birthdays

PositanoBay · 26/10/2023 16:05

Again, cat over 7 wouldn't be covered for loads anyway

MikeRafone · 26/10/2023 16:06

Have a look at taming twins for really easy cooking

There are dump bags for the slow cooker - which you get out of the freezer the night before and just dump into the slow cooker and come home to bolognaise sauce cooked for you - just add pasta. So literally when you do the shopping you put the ingredients into the dump bag raw and freeze - no cooking. There are other options, chicken casseroles, enchiladas etc