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I need to reimburse money that my dad loses

103 replies

Brats4kid · 27/09/2023 17:13

I have moved in with my dad, we share utility bills etc. I own half of the house because my mum died. He is losing some benefit money and he has said that I need to pay him what I lose. I really don't understand this and it's stressing me out! Any help would be appreciated 🙏

OP posts:
Grumpyold · 27/09/2023 18:15

AllWeWantToDo · 27/09/2023 18:12

You get Universal credits instead of JSA now

Well OK, but it is only the equivalent of JSA and is affected by the fact the young person is sharing a household with parents.

topcat2014 · 27/09/2023 18:17

Why didn't the whole house pass to the spouse. Sounds cheeky to me that you moved in

PosterBoy · 27/09/2023 18:18

He probably thinks you are part of his 'household' but this isn't true. He needs to be clearer with the benefits team. You are two separate households, not one joined household.

QuillBill · 27/09/2023 18:22

topcat2014 · 27/09/2023 18:17

Why didn't the whole house pass to the spouse. Sounds cheeky to me that you moved in

She owns half the house. It's not 'cheeky' to live in a house that you own half of and that has no mortgage.

Grumpyold · 27/09/2023 18:24

QuillBill · 27/09/2023 18:22

She owns half the house. It's not 'cheeky' to live in a house that you own half of and that has no mortgage.

Does she own it outright though? A more usual arrangement would be a lifetime trust allowing him to live there (alone) until his death.

Hellocatshome · 27/09/2023 18:28

Grumpyold · 27/09/2023 18:24

Does she own it outright though? A more usual arrangement would be a lifetime trust allowing him to live there (alone) until his death.

This.

Alargeoneplease89 · 27/09/2023 18:35

BluesandClues · 27/09/2023 17:30

I really don’t think he should be loosing esa due to living with you. That doesn’t seem right at all.

I think its a means tested benefit (income related esa) so will go off household income therefore he will lose it.

Babyroobs · 27/09/2023 18:39

He could also be losing £75 severe disability premium if he is disabled and claims pension credit ? So it may not just be the council tax single occupancy discount.

Babyroobs · 27/09/2023 18:41

Alargeoneplease89 · 27/09/2023 18:35

I think its a means tested benefit (income related esa) so will go off household income therefore he will lose it.

Op and her dads incomes/ benefits would never be treated as financially joined or based on household income. Only a partners income would affect his income related ESA claim, not anyone else's. If he has a severe disability premium on an esa claim then he would lose that because the criteria for being awarded that is that you live on your own or that all the other adults in the household are also disabled.

ChristmasCrumpet · 27/09/2023 18:42

@Brats4kid did he actually want you to move in?

Babyroobs · 27/09/2023 18:43

Duckingella · 27/09/2023 17:45

I don't understand why he'd lose his ESA.

My adult brother gets ESA;my parents who he lives with income don't affect it.

Your not financially supporting him and your finances are separate.

Could it be they've decided to clear him to work?

Because your brother has probably never been entitled to severe disability premium if he's never lived alone?

TidyDancer · 27/09/2023 18:45

What percentage of bills are you now paying? Did he want you to move in?

There's so many potential variables with this set up that it could be either of you who are being reasonable/unreasonable.

Babyroobs · 27/09/2023 18:45

Brats4kid · 27/09/2023 17:31

That is what the letter says 🙄

Op is he disabled? if so it will be the severe disability premium he is losing by you moving in. It is £75 ish a week he will be losing on ESA alone.

LittleOwl153 · 27/09/2023 18:56

You need to loom at what he's loosing compared to what he would be paying out if he still lived alone.

Whilst you are not obliged to reimburse him I can see why he's wanting to get some money from somewhere if he is now loosing his benefits. However that isn't entirely your responsibility- particualry if you cannot afford it as you are supporting him to continue to live in the house.

I would either look at the bills before you moved in and assume he needs to continue to pay the same now. If he is paying more having taken into account the loss of this £270 then maybe you need to rethink - especially if it leaves him with non'spwnding money'. But it should be a discussion not a demand from.him..

AllWeWantToDo · 27/09/2023 19:10

Grumpyold · 27/09/2023 18:15

Well OK, but it is only the equivalent of JSA and is affected by the fact the young person is sharing a household with parents.

Only in the fact that they wouldn't get any housing and council tax benefit obviously

BeignetPommes · 27/09/2023 19:16

Are the utility bills being shared 50/50? Because with 3 adults it ought to be a 3 way split. He could end up paying more than he did before with the demands of a family and children using utilities.

LoudAndSqueaky · 27/09/2023 19:16

Why did your Mum leave the house to you and not to your Dad? Did he agree? It's quite something for him to now have your family living in the house with him?

I imagine this is the type of situation that could get nasty very quickly.

Babyroobs · 27/09/2023 19:17

LoudAndSqueaky · 27/09/2023 19:16

Why did your Mum leave the house to you and not to your Dad? Did he agree? It's quite something for him to now have your family living in the house with him?

I imagine this is the type of situation that could get nasty very quickly.

Likely to protect inheritance from being used for care fees in the future?

RichardArmitagesWife · 27/09/2023 19:18

Grumpyold · 27/09/2023 18:15

Well OK, but it is only the equivalent of JSA and is affected by the fact the young person is sharing a household with parents.

Not true. My adult son lives here and his UC is unaffected by our income.

FloweryName · 27/09/2023 19:24

It would be fair for you to pay him something to cover what he’s losing. Your family has two working age adults with children who won’t have to pay a mortgage or rent so it doesn’t seem like much to expect when his income has dropped significantly.

ChristmasCrumpet · 27/09/2023 19:29

There's a bigger picture at play to be honest.

The DF and DM worked and paid off their house so they were mortgage free. Maybe DF paid the lot. They both worked together, regardless, to own their home and not have to scrape by with mortgage payments in their later years.

DM has sadly passed, and presumably OP is the only child, so she's left her half to DD. I presume DF's will says the same.

What's unusual here, is that the remaining parent usually stays in their home until they pass themselves, or move to perhaps a care home, or downsize to another property. It is highly unusual for one parent to die, and the adult child to declare immediately that half the house is theirs so they and their whole family are moving in. Presumably at the time DF is mourning the loss of his wife.

I can't imagine one of my parents passing and me grabbing "my half" and moving myself in. That's my mum's/dad's house with one of them still living in it! Similarly, I would be quite ashamed of any of our children, if DH and I, worked all our lives to pay off our beautiful home, I lost DH at a reasonably young age, and they turned up on the doorstep, moving themselves in, "it's technically mine as well now, so move over mum, oh and I know you'll be several hundred a month worse off because of it, but it's mine, so...."

How this arrangement came about, I think is critical to how this loss of money issue is tackled. If DF wanted them desperately to move in, and this was an oversight on his part, it's very different to "we're living here, and you can't stop us because mum didn't put the right clause in her will"

Babyroobs · 27/09/2023 19:47

ChristmasCrumpet · 27/09/2023 19:29

There's a bigger picture at play to be honest.

The DF and DM worked and paid off their house so they were mortgage free. Maybe DF paid the lot. They both worked together, regardless, to own their home and not have to scrape by with mortgage payments in their later years.

DM has sadly passed, and presumably OP is the only child, so she's left her half to DD. I presume DF's will says the same.

What's unusual here, is that the remaining parent usually stays in their home until they pass themselves, or move to perhaps a care home, or downsize to another property. It is highly unusual for one parent to die, and the adult child to declare immediately that half the house is theirs so they and their whole family are moving in. Presumably at the time DF is mourning the loss of his wife.

I can't imagine one of my parents passing and me grabbing "my half" and moving myself in. That's my mum's/dad's house with one of them still living in it! Similarly, I would be quite ashamed of any of our children, if DH and I, worked all our lives to pay off our beautiful home, I lost DH at a reasonably young age, and they turned up on the doorstep, moving themselves in, "it's technically mine as well now, so move over mum, oh and I know you'll be several hundred a month worse off because of it, but it's mine, so...."

How this arrangement came about, I think is critical to how this loss of money issue is tackled. If DF wanted them desperately to move in, and this was an oversight on his part, it's very different to "we're living here, and you can't stop us because mum didn't put the right clause in her will"

There's an awful lot of assumptions in your post !

Brats4kid · 27/09/2023 19:50

NoSquirrels · 27/09/2023 17:30

He must be receiving income-related ESA. From the gov website:

If you get income-related ESA:

Your household income and savings worth £6,000 or more may affect how much you can get.

This is presumably why his claim has decreased.

What is his situation- why can’t he work? He could be entitled to disability elementary, for instance.

He is disabled and gets full disability also.

OP posts:
Brats4kid · 27/09/2023 19:51

Grumpyold · 27/09/2023 17:38

Aren't you covering at least 50% of the bills which would cover what he loses? He should probably argue that you cover more than 50% as there's more of you.

He is only paying a 3rd of the bills.

OP posts:
Babyroobs · 27/09/2023 19:51

Brats4kid · 27/09/2023 19:50

He is disabled and gets full disability also.

Ok so yes it will likely be the severe disability premium of around £75 a week that he has lost because you have moved in.