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Original poster

I need to reimburse money that my dad loses

103 replies

Brats4kid · 27/09/2023 17:13

I have moved in with my dad, we share utility bills etc. I own half of the house because my mum died. He is losing some benefit money and he has said that I need to pay him what I lose. I really don't understand this and it's stressing me out! Any help would be appreciated 🙏

OP posts:
Singleandproud · 27/09/2023 17:33

Sounds like he might be trying to assert a little control after lots of changes,
Wife died
You and your family move in
Renovations to his home
Losing money but benefiting from your contributions.

Maybe tally up what he has 'lost' against how much he benefits from you being there.

Hellocatshome · 27/09/2023 17:36

I think of you sit and work it out he will probably save more than he loses. Did he actually want you to move in?

Grumpyold · 27/09/2023 17:38

Aren't you covering at least 50% of the bills which would cover what he loses? He should probably argue that you cover more than 50% as there's more of you.

Beautifulsunflowers · 27/09/2023 17:39

How do you share utility bills? 50/50 or 20/80 if there’s 5 of in total? Or 66/34 based on 3 adults?
how is council tax split?
From your dads point of view he’s loosing £270 a month but what is he gaining in having to pay less in bills each month?
You say he only pays £20 a week towards food? That’s not much for a 62 yr old man.

Itsjustmeee · 27/09/2023 17:41

If he’s in the ESA support group on the old system

he would get a premium of around 60 week for living on his own if he gets middle rate of pip ( I think ) it’s called Severe disability premium

if he’s on UC he wouldn’t get the premium as that’s not included in UC

AllWeWantToDo · 27/09/2023 17:41

Well you tend to lose housing benefits but I've never heard of anyone losing other benefits due to living with family .

Duckingella · 27/09/2023 17:45

I don't understand why he'd lose his ESA.

My adult brother gets ESA;my parents who he lives with income don't affect it.

Your not financially supporting him and your finances are separate.

Could it be they've decided to clear him to work?

Blondeshavemorefun · 27/09/2023 17:47

Where did you and your family live before

Did you have to live in with dad

Can he live by his self

Assume mum died recently ?

Floralnomad · 27/09/2023 17:47

Why have you all moved in as it sounds like it will end in tears .

AdaColeman · 27/09/2023 17:49

You all need to sit down together and work out a fair budget for the whole household.
He may feel that he's losing out financially, but on the other hand if he is only paying £20 for food that sounds like an excellent deal for him.
He will have several advantages from sharing the house with your family, which he may be failing to appreciate at the moment.

He and your family have gone through a lot of life changes recently, and change can be difficult to adjust to. Good and fully open exchanges of information, and honest communication will be what helps you all to cope and settle into your new lives.

IfYouDontAsk · 27/09/2023 17:49

Did your dad want you to move in or is this more about him being upset because you’ve all moved in when he didn’t want you to?

Grumpyold · 27/09/2023 17:51

Do you have outright ownership of half the house or is this a lifetime trust arrangement for your Dad? Why are you moving in with him?

RenovationNightmare · 27/09/2023 17:53

Where did you live before you moved? How much did you pay in rent? How much (financially) better off are you now?

Jakethekid · 27/09/2023 17:54

What exactly did the letter say ?

DaisyMaisyFaisy · 27/09/2023 17:57

Is it his way of saying he didn’t actually want you all moving in with him?

sadaboutmycat · 27/09/2023 17:59

LIZS · 27/09/2023 17:30

He shouldn't lose esa itself, but might uc as based on household income and the 25% council tax reduction for single occupancy.

But his 'household' is separate to her 'household'. Household refers to a coupled relationship. If not, no 18 year old still at parents home would get UC.
You need to talk to his work coach about this.

PotteringAlonggotkickedoutandhadtoreregister · 27/09/2023 18:00

Does he actually want to live with you? Or have you railroaded in and started renovating his house because you’ve claimed your half of the house?

Carolwithane · 27/09/2023 18:02

He may have been in receipt of a severe disability premium as part of his ESA, one of the qualifying criteria is that he lives alone.

This is probably what he has lost along with 25% single persons discount

Carolwithane · 27/09/2023 18:04

SDP info - you can check full criteria on DWP website

I need to reimburse money that my dad loses
Grumpyold · 27/09/2023 18:05

sadaboutmycat · 27/09/2023 17:59

But his 'household' is separate to her 'household'. Household refers to a coupled relationship. If not, no 18 year old still at parents home would get UC.
You need to talk to his work coach about this.

Show quote history

They don't? When DS was briefly unemployed he was only entitled to JSA

Hellocatshome · 27/09/2023 18:07

I am wondering if this is an "I own half the house so I am going to live in it" type of situation. Did your DF want you to move in? Did you discuss finances etc beforehand? Does he want to spend his old age in a house with his grandchildren? As lovely as grandchildren are many grandparents like to be able to give them back and retreat to their own home for some peace and quiet.

Gingerkittykat · 27/09/2023 18:11

Brats4kid · 27/09/2023 17:25

It's the employment support allowance, he is losing.

Show quote history

People on ESA who also receive the highest rate of PIP receive a severe disability allowance of around £70 a week if they live alone. This is what he will be losing, as well as the single person discount for council tax and possibly council tax benefit.

I'm sure the benefits of you living with him outweigh the money he is losing.

AllWeWantToDo · 27/09/2023 18:12

Grumpyold · 27/09/2023 18:05

They don't? When DS was briefly unemployed he was only entitled to JSA

Show quote history

You get Universal credits instead of JSA now

Carolwithane · 27/09/2023 18:14

You can still get JSA if its contribution based for a max of 26 weeks.

YerAWizardHarry · 27/09/2023 18:15

People are getting confused by the household though. Although you live in the same dwelling you are separate households. Same as if a “child” of an adult stays with them and has their own children. Two separate “households”