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Original poster

I just want to sell the house and relieve the pressure

101 replies

isthesolution · 25/07/2023 19:13

I just feel so tired of feeling so skint.

My husbands job never recovered from covid and then Brexit. He is trying to get extra work but has been in a v niche industry for his whole career so increasing income will take some time. I work 3.5 days - currently no scope to up this.

We have our dream house. It's lovely, in the countryside, big garden, very private. Tried and failed for planning for anything to generate income.

We could sell it, move onto a newer estate, in the catchment area of a top school and be mortgage free.

I don't want to give up the dream house BUT I also want to have money to enjoy experiences with the kids (14, 8) while they are young. My heart is screaming one thing and my head another - help!!

OP posts:
RandomMess · 26/07/2023 12:33

The driving when you have both to ferry around more will drive you to distraction. What if one of you can't drive for a while?

Honestly the resentment of taxi duties grinds you down. Impacts on what hobbies and activities you can do etc

GoodStuffAnnie · 26/07/2023 12:39

No brainier. Move in a heart beat.

RaininSummer · 26/07/2023 12:59

Move to be mortgage free and be able to cut out all mum taxis as they get older.

TakenRoot · 26/07/2023 13:12

Personally I found that living somewhere my kids could walk to school or at least be travelling independent secondary added loads to my quality of life.

Your rural location is (partially) dictating your availability to work, your expenditure costs, your free time etc. Not just the mortgage costs.

You could make a lovely home of wherever you live, within reason.

Take control of your actual life (as opposed to dream home which is causing nightmare stress) and improve quality of day to day life.

Original poster
isthesolution · 26/07/2023 15:29

Thanks everyone. I know you are right.

I think because my friends and family say 'gosh your house is gorgeous. I'd love to live here' I think - yeh it really is a wonderful place to live.

I don't think it's the house itself I love as much as being in nature and having no neighbours and not thinking about noise or conflict or roads or anything.

OP posts:
LadyLapsang · 26/07/2023 15:55

When you say skint, what do you mean? Lying awake at 3am worrying how you will pay your bills, not being able to go on holiday, refusing school trips for the children, or worrying about the costs of university in 4 years or not buying a new car?

AlltheFs · 26/07/2023 16:00

You couldn’t pay me to give up the dream house. We are in ours. If we moved in to town we could also be mortgage free, but things have to get a lot harder before I give it up.

I do get it though, out house is completely impractical but I wouldn’t move if it was me. But I absolutely despise town and city life, it would depress me so much to have the people, noise and no view. Yuck.

Jennywren2000 · 26/07/2023 16:06

I’d absolutely go mortgage free, have a smaller house, less stress and more time & money. You can lock up and go on trips with the kids instead of feeling tied down and stressed. A large house and loads of driving sounds like it’s just adding extra pressure in your life.

It sounds like you’re in a pretty amazing position to have this choice though. There must also be a middle ground- smaller mortgage, slightly less perfect house?

Crikeyalmighty · 26/07/2023 16:23

I would do it- absolutely pointless having a dream home and being totally skint with kids that age.

PermanentTemporary · 26/07/2023 16:32

How about a family meeting and thrashing out all the issues together?

Don't be the decision maker on your own, you'll only get moans afterwards.

EarringsandLipstick · 26/07/2023 17:26

I'm struggling to understand the 'dream home' and being skint.

It must be utterly amazing if you could sell it, clear the mortgage & buy a decent but more ordinary house without a mortgage?

What is 'skint'? Can you not pay bills, afford food? Or is it just tight with home maintenance, fuel costs & so on.

You & DH need to analyse the source of the financial stress before making the decision.

Original poster
isthesolution · 28/07/2023 09:07

Skint is definitely not real skint. I know that. I maybe should have worded it better.

We are having to be much more aware of every spend. No meals out, trying to keep days out free/v cheap, UK weekend break instead of foreign holiday, trying to cut the food shopping budget from just having whatever we want.

The house is amazing yes and a doer upper so ploughed everything into it. It's worth over double what we have spent on it.

Yes the next house would be much more moderate but not sure how much that would matter. We'd have money to spend on enjoying family time outside the house.

OP posts:
oiltrader · 28/07/2023 10:05

Sounds like you need to sell. Unfortunately, most cant have the dream house when interest rates rise x

Dillydollydingdong · 28/07/2023 10:08

Get a lodger? That would make you an extra £400-£500 per month.

LaurieFairyCake · 28/07/2023 10:13

I would move to a smaller place but where you are in the countryside

A couple of big sheds in a huge garden takes care of storage and a place for teens to hang out

It sounds like garden and countryside, peace and quiet are important to you Flowers

determinedtomakethiswork · 28/07/2023 10:19

I would definitely sell. My ideal house would be based on location as well as the actual physical house so with all the travelling that your house involves, it wouldn't be ideal for me.

Livinghappy · 28/07/2023 10:24

I think your ages and employment prospects are relevant to the decision because in one way it seems to be a temporary issue due to COL. If you have 25 years left to work, 10 years left on a mortgage then perhaps you stick it out as employment prospects may get better so it's a temporary situation.

However I would factor in that the driving will get worse as you have another pre teen.

However if you are older and income/pension doesn't look great I would go mortgage free ASAP. It is unbelievably freeing

Livinghappy · 28/07/2023 10:26

If your oldest is off to Uni in 4 years can you afford to support them?

Also be cautious that you're not living a life due to external pressure due to the status of a big house.

IsGoodIsDon · 28/07/2023 10:28

Definitely move if you can be mortgage feee and near great school. Plenty of time to move again once the kids are older.

averythinline · 28/07/2023 10:30

move

Chewbecca · 28/07/2023 10:31

I don't think it is the dream home if teenagers need to be driven everywhere and it's got a lot of upkeep, even if the setting and physical house is dreamy.

DC having a community and the ability to walk to school and activities is very valuable to me and would IMO definitely make up for what they're losing.

Throw in the lower outgoings and it is a no brainer for me.

ladyvivienne · 28/07/2023 10:35

I wouldn't move. Your house now could be worth substantially more for your own kids in the future than a new build box. Your mortgage will get paid off eventually (presuming it's not that big)

Get another little side hustle. There must be something you can do to make a a little extra cash.

BunnyBettChettwynd · 28/07/2023 10:50

ladyvivienne · 28/07/2023 10:35

I wouldn't move. Your house now could be worth substantially more for your own kids in the future than a new build box. Your mortgage will get paid off eventually (presuming it's not that big)

Get another little side hustle. There must be something you can do to make a a little extra cash.

Work harder, have less access to the things you do, less cash and time to enjoy together and you too can hand on more money to your children when you die in 40 years time.

or

Live now!

LadyBird1973 · 28/07/2023 10:50

There's no point in having a dream house, if you are too stressed out to enjoy it.
I'd go mortgage free in a heartbeat too - the new house you describe would be many other people's dream house!

Your kids will be happier as teens, being able to get themselves to and from town/friends houses/activities. And you will improve your own life by not having to drive everywhere all the time.
I know my life would be much better if I had the money available to me that is currently spent on my mortgage!

LadyBird1973 · 28/07/2023 10:56

The other thing is that life is unpredictable - you can't live for the idea that one day you'll be mortgage feee in your current home and sacrifice your current lifestyle to that end. What if you or your dh die and you've spent all this time missing out on holidays, meals out, fun with your kids? A house is just a house, no matter how beautiful - it's life that matters.