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Original poster

How much ?

33 replies

Dutchess46 · 26/05/2023 15:00

My son wants to move in with his girlfriend who is pregnant. Is it fair to charge rent and if so how much would be reasonable?

OP posts:
Ostryga · 26/05/2023 15:02

How old are they both? Do they work?

OldTinHat · 26/05/2023 15:03

What does he earn? Assume moving in with you? What does she earn? What will you be providing?

Too many questions to ask to provide a suggestion!

Ginisatonic · 26/05/2023 15:05

Need more details. Will you be providing food? How much would a room I. A shared house cost in your area? Are you happy to subsidise them or do you need to charge full rate?

Heyaa · 26/05/2023 17:31

talk about them getting their own place, if you make them “ homeless “ the council will house them, pay their rent through Housing benefit and have them sign onto universal credit, they will get what they are entitled to in support and you will have less of a financial burden

CreamTeaThievery · 26/05/2023 17:52

How old are they? What are their long term plans? Do they work?

Original poster
Dutchess46 · 26/05/2023 18:07

I am happy for them to live here. Just want to know what is a fair contribution .

OP posts:
Heyaa · 26/05/2023 18:11

Dutchess46 · 26/05/2023 18:07

I am happy for them to live here. Just want to know what is a fair contribution .

If they stay with you and pay you a contribution, they are probably going to end up paying more than they would receive in benefits and housing benefit if they went and got a place of their own, you should let them know their options

FlounderingFruitcake · 26/05/2023 18:12

Well surely a fair contribution is based on their income and none of us can tell you what that is. At a minimum you’d expect them to cover the increased costs of them being there e.g. more showers, washing machine running more frequently etc. If you have a smart metre you can probably work that one out fairly easily. You may want to think about what a room in a houseshare costs near you, or not IDK.

Original poster
Dutchess46 · 26/05/2023 18:20

They are in their mid twenties and not sure how much they earn. Not easy this day and age to get a place on their own. Dont want to draw benefits. Just want to provide a place to live until they are ready to move on.

OP posts:
cocksstrideintheevening · 26/05/2023 18:27

Mid 20s? They need to get hold
Of reality and absolutely pay you rent.

CatsOnTheChair · 26/05/2023 18:37

Don't make it soo cheep they can't afford to move out because they spend all their spare cash on 3D printers and other such essentials.
Feel free to save the excess over what is costs you, but look at what a room in a shared house plus bills would cost. Add in food if you are supplying that. And go a bit under that. Feel free to discount it until maternity leave is over.

RaininSummer · 26/05/2023 18:52

Love the jump by some people to suggest making them homeless and all the benefits they can get. Hopefully they are in work. Anyway, yes definitely charge something as you are not a charity and if they are old enough to be having a family of their own, they are not children. You're a better woman than me as no way would I let my son and pregnant girlfriend move in as it wouldn't feel like my home then.

Heyaa · 26/05/2023 20:08

RaininSummer · 26/05/2023 18:52

Love the jump by some people to suggest making them homeless and all the benefits they can get. Hopefully they are in work. Anyway, yes definitely charge something as you are not a charity and if they are old enough to be having a family of their own, they are not children. You're a better woman than me as no way would I let my son and pregnant girlfriend move in as it wouldn't feel like my home then.

You mean by me. Obviously not chucking them out without a roof over their heads but if you say you won’t house them anymore they’ll get somewhere to live, not only will they then be costing you money and causing you resentment they could have a place to themselves and start a life together independently rather than the child growing up with their grandparents in the uk

Dodo2023 · 27/05/2023 07:59

Charge a market amount which will cover your costs and save the rest for them as a deposit. They need to get use to living on the amount they would have in the real world.

PoussinBoussin · 27/05/2023 08:01

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

VanCleefArpels · 27/05/2023 08:08

Add up your bills - utilities, council tax and food. Divide by 3 - that’s the per head cost of living in your house. That could be your starting point.

However as others have said if you charge them much less than they would be in the open market then they will find it much more difficult to move out. You might be better off discussing their options to find somewhere of their own. If their joint income will decrease during her maternity leave they can claim Universal Credit to top them up - this may cover some rent depending on their joint income

Wavescrashingonthebeach · 27/05/2023 08:14

The days of getting a council house because you're having a kid are over.

Correct. You get a flat the size of a postage stamp which does not have to be ground level and two children expected to share a room until the oldest one is 10 regardless of gender.

If you have the space and you have good family dynamics then this can work quite well, I know other families who have done it and in the past and to this day in none-western cultures it's normal for multiple generations to live under one roof.

Can you provide a rough amount of what they are earning and what is your situation, do you own your home, is your mortgage paid off etc is this going to massively put you behind financially or is it reasonable as long as they provide a reasonable contribution etc

MayBeeJuneSoon · 27/05/2023 08:17

@Heyaa why add the snippy remark about the 'U.K.'?

They would get housed in a hostel or b&b.... no houses left

FedUpWithTheNHS · 27/05/2023 08:27

I think it depends on what your arrangement is.

Will yu be cooking for everyone or eating together? Will you be the one to do the shopping for everyone? If so whatever you are charging should reflect the added cost of feeding them

Same with water, electricity, heating etc… how much more will you pay? Could you sort of evaluate it?

Council tax. Did you have any reduction before (one adult living in the house)

Thats a minimum.

Then I’d have a quick look at the price of renting a room as a lodger around where you are (it will vary a lot depending on where you live). Decide if you want to go normal renting price or you want to help them (eg so they can put money aside as a deposit) and go lower etc…

For me a red line is that it should NOT cost you money to house them!!

id also agree on some house rules before hand (I’m thinking who is cooking, shopping, cleaning) so responsibilities are clear before hand.

Ragwort · 27/05/2023 08:31

Just think very carefully about this kind offer, if they have found themselves in the situation of an unplanned pregnancy are they going to be responsible house guests? Where do they currently live? Is this the only option ...? Were they planning on living together anyway?
I have a DS in his mid 20s and, to be perfectly blunt, I would not be impressed if he wanted to live at home with his pregnant GF. What happens when the baby arrives? Who else lives in your home?

Xrays · 27/05/2023 08:36

Ragwort · 27/05/2023 08:31

Just think very carefully about this kind offer, if they have found themselves in the situation of an unplanned pregnancy are they going to be responsible house guests? Where do they currently live? Is this the only option ...? Were they planning on living together anyway?
I have a DS in his mid 20s and, to be perfectly blunt, I would not be impressed if he wanted to live at home with his pregnant GF. What happens when the baby arrives? Who else lives in your home?

Agree. It should always be a temporary thing until they get themselves sorted.

unsync · 27/05/2023 08:37

If you know what your monthly costs are, just charge them the extra plus a bit more for wear and tear on your property. Maybe do it for a six month trial period to see how you all get on.

Do you have two bathrooms? Three adults and a baby sharing one bathroom could be difficult. Ditto for living room.

Also, you need clear understanding on division of labour. Do you all eat together? Who does the washing? Don't have it all default to Mum.

What will happen during Mat Leave? If she's there all day, will you find that too much?

FedUpWithTheNHS · 27/05/2023 08:38

Also I would want to have a discussion on how they will ensure they are ‘ready to move on’

Are they planning to buy, rent?
What do they need to do to achieve that?

Fwiw, I don’t agree about the ‘charge them full price so they don’t feel comfortable at home’.
For one, there are some downsides to be living with your parent(s) and it’s not easy to adjust to ‘being back home’ for them either. I doubt many people will be happy to stay there for ever, esp with partner and child. Unless they are been babied and have everything brought to them on a golden plate iyswim (by that I mean everything done for them, most stuff bought for them etc…)

And then, if they are living in their own paying normal market prices, they will be able to get benefits they won’t get by staying at the OP’s. You dint want to make their life so hard by being at home that they can’t save for a deposit (house OR rental) etc…. Because then they won’t be able to leave anyway.

Id agree that you might want to put time limits though.
Something like let’s do that for 6months and review if it’s actually an acceptable compromise for everyone/YOU. And then another 6 months but no automatic ‘you can stay here for ever and ever’
As said before, I’m not worried that they will never move out. I’m more thinking that your situation might change and you need to be able to tell them to move out for own sake Wo you feeling guilty about it, feeling you can’t etc….

Ragwort · 27/05/2023 08:40

And how 'temporary' will this arrangement be? If you are (presumably) providing a very comfortable home, no doubt at least some home cooked meals, emotional support, laundry facilities (even if you don't actually do their washing), council tax paid, (babysitter on tap?) etc etc it is going to make it much less attractive for them to move into a flat share or whatever.

ThirstyThursday · 27/05/2023 08:41

Dutchess46 · 26/05/2023 18:20

They are in their mid twenties and not sure how much they earn. Not easy this day and age to get a place on their own. Dont want to draw benefits. Just want to provide a place to live until they are ready to move on.

If it were me, I wouldn't charge them unless I needed the money IF they were being sensible with their money (saving/buying essential baby things) but if they were out all the time, buying lots of unnecessary stuff then I'd charge them the extra it was costing me to have them stay.

but I'd look at the best way for them to get their own place, to get them on their feet as a family. Even though I'd want them to stay so I could have lots of baby cuddles!!