I honestly cannot afford to live

[Inkdrinker]

I work 40 hour weeks, yet I was paid 6 days ago and I'm already completely out of money. My rent is more than half of my pay, council tax is a further 250 pounds, my energy bills are ridiculous despite trying to cut down on using so much.

I have 3 kids to look after. How are people going survive this? This is by no means a ploy to ask others for money, I do not want anyone's money. I just want to know I'm not alone in this situation

Those apps are far more costly than rice, pasta, tomatoes, herbs etc.

You're paying £3-4 for some random sandwich and a few cakes.

It's not money saving at all. It's a waste of money. Cooking from scratch is the only way to save money.

And yes, I use - it's called food club. You get a box of what you're given for £7 a month. Plus fresh vegetables.
If you can cook it's a life saver. Well it has been for us anyway.

Fewer children? Perhaps? I get that they are non-returnable once delivered, but there is contraception. Twenty years ago, we could afford to give one child a decent start in life, to have a shot at a life materially similar to ours. We were a lot older than most FTPs. And our decision was to stick at one. A decision for which I have been endlessly grateful.

come on we are all wondering lol
but you say the cupboards were low so not really a normal shop

my gas and electric is approx £ 70 - 90 a week but often more
shopping about £80 90 a week but i could live off my cupboard/dry goods washing powder/bleach for awhile i love food shopping

Totally agree with @JustCleaningtheBBQ NMW jobs and benefits (remembering most benefits are ‘in work’) are not configured for people to build up a huge protective buffer, it’s not a moral failing FFS!

It’s shit, but don’t be afraid or proud to ask for help, accept handouts or charity. My parents put pride first and that’s how we ended up homeless when I was a child.

As well as the official food banks in our area we have community food banks were you don’t need to be approved. Our local Aldi gives leftover food to my DCs school twice a week that parents can take. I also know of several churches in other areas that do community food hubs. I know of 2 churches that are doing heat hubs for people to keep warm and grab something to eat. And I know a lady who lives a few streets away from me that works for a share and care charity in the next town over. She regularly lets people know on our local FB groups what the best things to donate are.

Check out your community fb pages, look at church newsletters, speak to your DCs school. There is help out there, take it if you find it.

It's a horrible time and I empathise with everyone going through this. We are just about managing at the moment so every week on the supermarket shop I make sure I get things to donate for the food bank. I havent got much to spare but know that people are trying to help each other. I hope the government sort out soon as people shouldn't be in this position.

I’d imagine you’ve thought of these but, trying anyway :

With your kids, some GPs will prescribe multivitamins.
Then for menus :
Proteins : eggs are the cheapest, so mostly that ; meat buy those absolutely huge roasts etc when they’re on sale (the day they’re before out of date) ; as pp mentioned end of days are good for that, they’re going to be thrown away so they get even more reduced : prepare and freeze ; and especially, small portions are just fine enough, no need for what you’d consider previously reasonable size

Veg : huge bags of frozen of the same ones, either you have a huge freezer or too bad it’s the same one for the week

Fruit I don’t really have a solution tbh, count on the multivitamins and hope for sales on seasonal ones

Then absolutely load on cheap filling carbs, there’s no need to feel guilty about it, they’re getting a balanced diet

Bread : making your own is much cheaper, and easy.

All of this is much easier for a large size freezer naturally.

Electricity : cheap desk lamps for the kids for homework (you can minimise the miserable aspect with fairy lights, you can get huge ones for like £1 on Amazon
Buy in huge huge bulks candles, for either if you’re really really skint, or even worse the electricity gets cut off. They do reasonably last, just buy really large quantities (Amazon)

Baths : depending on the balance, you can heat a large pot of water on the stove for baths

Gaz : woolly hats and scarfs and socks at home do make a difference (primark or wherever)

And don’t worry your kids won’t be traumatised : my mum used to f*ck off with her next bf for days leaving me to take care at 16 of my 9yo brother with no way enough money. It’s just about presenting it to them in both a realistic way (it’s difficult times for everyone ; maybe an age appropriate video like UNICEF of kids who walk ages to school (I walked him to and back to school 1h round trip for me, and presented it to him as his exercise for a healthy heart), don’t have medical care etc). Do try to make it a little fun ex fairy lights, candles are cool, that kind of thing

Dont know if this helped in the slightest sorry

It's my oh who is disabled not any of my children

And choosing between electricity and gaz, def save gaz, gaz cut off were my absolute worst times (depending on your appliances now I think of it I guess, like we had a gaz stove, so no way of heating water for baths etc)

And as I mentioned, bread, simple cakes, always cook yourself, it’s not hard, we had fun with it, I’d do a huge one on Sunday and he’d eat it on the way to school, it was our little ritual. And he found he enjoyed telling me allll about his fascinating days during those walks !

Cereals unfortunately were a luxury, he had a small bowl with milk, but it didn’t fill him, so he had to fill up with my home cooked bread and I did get those huge cheap chocolate spreads though, or I figured it would have been too tough on him.

Never any real treats though as in chocolates though sadly.
He kind of got it really. I was careful to tell him not to share some things at school, it’s sad but I didn’t want him bullied.
And praised him hugely for school work, always saying you’re doing so well, you’ll get a great job when you’re older and nothing of all this.

We were in a tiny 1 bed btw, actually ended up preferring the times my mum wasn’t here cause she’d just bring her loud voice and drama

@RedRedWhiney sorry but you most likely get caught, unless you buy a prepay certificate and back date it. I used to work in a pharmacy. If you ticked the box to say that you had a pre-pay, or medical exemption certificate, then your name and address will be searched to confirm that a valid certificate exists. If not then you’ll be given a fine. You can go online and buy a pre-payment certificate and back date it for upto a month to cover any prescriptions during that time frame. Please please do this as it will be cheaper than getting a fine.

Not always my pharmacist used to say, esp now they’re overwhelmed, but it does happen yes, but iirc it was £150 fine, and she knew I was struggling but said how are you going to pay that fine on top of the certificate : good freaking question !

Its awful reading these stories, we should not just be sucking this up (or worse, voting for more) we should be marching on Downing Street. I had a Ukrainian staying with me for a while, she was shocked at British levels of poverty and the state of public services here, we should be ashamed of what's been done to our country and should never have allowed it.

Because twins don’t happen…

I forgot (sorry talking so much! but had years of this), albeit in Western Europe years ago, but really it’s the same idea : just not enough money.

Sports, whatever has lower fees, for us it was swimming pool.
And we’d go running
I just couldn’t let him do nothing…

But really, no processed anything, I was a disaster at cooking, as had just come from being raised by my grandparents (modest income but regular ok) and was just thrown into this ; my grandmother did pretty much everything !

Really nothing processed ; Google to cook myself was my lifeline, sausage rolls or whatever your kids like, and it really does turn out cheaper. You can’t make them all the time, but mine was ok with like every other week. Focus if you can of age range typical stuff, so they won’t stand out. We did have a Macdonalds for birthday for example (well him, cheapest cheeseburger and small fries) : you just can’t send a kid to school without knowing what macdonalds is unfortunately.

Council tax is billed over 10 months by all local authorities. As the years went by and the bills went up and up and up, most of them brought in the option of allowing people to spread the cost over 12 months. I have to do this, I live in Nottingham where we have the second highest council tax bills in the country even though we are the 11th most deprived city in the UK . I would love to be able to pay my council tax off over 10 months and then use the two "free" months to put that money towards my fuel bills, but sadly this this is not doable as my budget is stretched to breaking point .

And please don’t worry, it doesn’t mess with their heads as long as you present it in the right way
Mine I told not to talk about the heated water baths for ex, I very much reassured he was just as clean, but something some people wouldn’t understand.
Same as getting gaz and electric cut off, those UNICEF videos helped, but I helped him Google (free internet in our local library) in our country, and there wasn’t much, I just said it wasn’t something people talked about here.

He could read whatever in the local library, he had extracurriculars to talk about, clothes I made into a ‘style’ as in jeans, trainers, t shirt.

A hard one was gaming, .I said just say my parents don’t allow it.

TV was tough, I got a free computer from the school but we didn’t have internet for football games. I just tried to organise play dates those days tbh.

I tried my best to make him fit in, and told him that’s really what everyone does in their own ways.

My grandmother had taught me how to sew

If you have girls honestly just get a cheap plain t shirt and sew a sequin heart or butterfly etc on it

@RedRedWhiney i got accused of not paying for a script, I had an old prepay certificate that had expired the pharmacy wasn’t going to charge me but I told them it was old and paid, a few months later I was contacted and had to prove I’d paid as the pharmacy hadn’t put the payment against my script.

I now pay 10 payments of £10.80 a month for a years certificate and collect between 5-8 scripts every month, not including any other scripts like antibiotics I may get prescribed throughout the year. I wouldn’t be able to get my scripts if I didn’t have my certificate.

@Lifeomars I'm also in Nottingham. My council tax is £120 a month. And that's with the single person discount. Think I'm band B. Wouldn't mind it so much if they unblocked the drains on the road where I live.

Once they are out of nursery and in school - so 5 - 10 they cost far less.. easy to get second hand clothes - not much cost in feeding them - easy to get small toys to occupy them... even childcare was dirt cheap

Hit secondary age - and the cost of clothes goes through the roof (my son does not fit Primark kids ranges at 11.. so I have to pay vat on all his clothes).. he eats far more than he did in primary too... Secondary uniforms are pricy too!

Just a suggestion Inkdrinker, why not give your council tax dept a ring and ask if they have a hardship team or policy to look at options to rearrange your repayment agreement?

Local Councils do, at the moment, appear to be more aware of the financial impact and hardships residents are experiencing. Many have extra funding directly for struggling residents or are being more flexible in setting up repayment plans.

I'd explain your situation, be prepared to share your income/expenditure position and tell them you are seriously struggling to feed your family because of this. Ask them if you can continue to repay your arrears, but over a longer time perhaps, so you can bring the month amount down by a decent chunk.

Fewer children? Perhaps? I get that they are non-returnable once delivered, but there is contraception

You get it but you had a go anyway? What use is that? What support are you giving to the OP? Do you honestly think that's helpful?

and thats why everyday joe cant afford to buy they are priced out by you
there is no level playing field and dropping in your daughter is a nurse and a death is all for the sympathy vote

God you really are a victim aren't you. Does the world owe you a favour by any chance? Go move to North Korea if you want a level playing field, see how much fun you have.

Food, more expensive clothing, any extra curricular activities, school costs, more costs utilities wise. As a baby, my youngest cost me next to nothing other than nappies as I had stuff already. He was in hand me downs up until secondary almost, very rarely bought new other than shoes and one or two character themed pieces of clothing.