I honestly cannot afford to live

[Inkdrinker]

I work 40 hour weeks, yet I was paid 6 days ago and I'm already completely out of money. My rent is more than half of my pay, council tax is a further 250 pounds, my energy bills are ridiculous despite trying to cut down on using so much.

I have 3 kids to look after. How are people going survive this? This is by no means a ploy to ask others for money, I do not want anyone's money. I just want to know I'm not alone in this situation

I wanted a second dc. Looks like that won't happen now. Our heating has been astronomical despite trying to have it off as long as possible. We're now down to heating one room and all staying in it at the weekends. Fuel has gone through the roof. We live rurally so can't really cut that down. Have only got one car. Just all so depressing. I hope you work it out. We're subsiding with savings but they've got to run out at some point.

Are you also @Deathbyfluffy as you sound very similar.
Do you ever shag spontaneously, or does your OH have to book you in?
Condoms can split !! And the consequences are a delightful bundle, (or two) who smiles and gurgles at you joyfully.

It would seem expedient for solo dwellers to connect and pool resources, and share housing. Same wth single parents.

The notion that every single adult/small family unit needs its own separate dwelling is a comparatively new one as in only a couple of generations and not really compatible with reality. I think going forward, more and more communal living will be necessary -- as has basically been the case for most of human history, and still is prevalent in the more upwardly mobile, education-focused cultures.

Or there is always the option to use multiple forms of contraception, and to avail oneself of the morning after pill and/or abortion. Not every fertilized egg must lead to a human being.

As a woman who has spent nearly 40 years making sure I didn't become a mother, believe me, where there is a will, there is a way.

The people asking about older children being more expensive- it’s not the same as when you’re paying childcare-so you have more money in that respect, but they can no longer live off hand me downs as they wear clothes out, they eat more, school looks for money every other day (plus we actually save for back to school instead of Christmas as it’s a shocking price), and that’s before cost of electricity/broadband/phones/travel/ any social costs plus doctors, dentists etc. so probably all evens out!

So many awful stories; I am sorry that so many people are struggling. We are definitely the squeezed middle - being v careful with shopping and heating, no takeaways/ meals or coffees out, no new clothes etc but keeping our heads above water.

It does concern me that so many parents are paying so much for their student children though. I get these things are based on financial assessments and parents do need to contribute for rent but students should be working too! Plus, uni at 18 isn’t the be all and end all, there are so many other options. and most of my friends worked pt from 16 and received no pocket money thereafter. I worked ft from 18 and went to uni in my twenties. Tuition fees were low then so I was lucky but my student loan didn’t cover my rent or anything else. I worked 30-40 hours during uni weeks (I was only in lectures for 2 1/2 days a week, and then when on placement (Social work) I did overnight care work where you could grab a few hours sleep. Yes it was hard and I wrote most of my assignments at night but you have a lot more energy at that age. There is no way that a fit and healthy young adult shouldn’t be able to work whilst at uni, unless they are doing medicine /nursing.

I don't have the money to buy pre payment.
Due to vulnerability I have a weekly script.
But that costs me 4x more that I can't pay.

I do think responses on here have no idea. No idea that you CANT pay for weekly prescriptions. That if you are in a high rise you simply do not have running water if you can't pay your meter - both of which have gapped this last week.

Agree, as they get older they definitely get more expensive. I’ve been able to get away with buying clothes and toys from charity shops for years and using hand me downs, but they are getting older they want new, they want fashionable clothes etc.. Shoes become more expensive and they go through them faster.

Then there are clubs and if they do well there are extra uniform, competition or other costs associated. Right now we pay for gymnastics, netball, brownies, drama and all have their own uniforms and extra associated costs, so far I’ve been able to hold my oldest DD back from competitions in gymnastics, I’m not sure I will be able to do that with the others, just the club leotard alone is £152 which has to fit just right so most girls get one or two wears out of them, then there are matching tracksuits, fees travel and accommodation costs.

Ive just priced up a uniform for DD starting high school, basic uniform £349, not including and extra sports related kits, shoes, trainers, socks, coat, school bag, which will obviously need to be just the right ones. Then the cost of a school bus £863 for year 2022/2023 so I’m expecting it to go up by the time she starts in September. Then there will be no more packed lunches as most kids buy from the schools canteens and raved about food hubs.

Then you have wanting & needing their own phones for high school, needing to pay for a contract or data, wanting Gaming consoles, laptops, not just wanting but needing the latest technology for school work.

But it’s costing you tons more without a PPC

You can get a prepaid certificate and pay monthly, the monthly cost is only £10.80 for 10 months but the certificate covers 12 months. Getting this will save you almost £30 a month.

Well like everything else sacrifices have to be made. How does that make PP a dick? They were spot on. It IS a luxury.

RedRedWhiney I think if things are so bad, why are you not getting disability, and paid prescriptions?
You need a chat with an advisor ( debt related or managing help).
pip is hard to claim, with the right help, you may get it, always the worst day

@GoodbyeMrChips I don't wish to sound dismissive, but I know when I did my joint honors in Economics and Accounting the amount we had to study was so overwhelming that any day spent not studying was a big risk. I had temp jobs and did some Student Amabssador work but grades mattered a lot and my studies did have to be prioritized. Whenever I tried to take on more work my grades would suffer.
Those in my year who did not cope were expelled. I don't think it's worth the risk if you have a demanding degree. May as well go a different route, although I would discourage those apprenticeships which can't pay a living wage.
I'd love to see more people encourage change from the top rather than change within the average tax payer's lives. Life is miserable enough as it is without the empathy of others. The classic advice to just get another job seems a bit dated. People aren't robots and not everyone should be expected to sacrifice their last bit of free time to "produce". We're a first world country, expect more from the leadership !

Brilliant idea.
Lets bring back workhouses where we can lump all those poor people together.

Then there are clubs and if they do well there are extra uniform, competition or other costs associated. Right now we pay for gymnastics, netball, brownies, drama and all have their own uniforms and extra associated costs, so far I’ve been able to hold my oldest DD back from competitions in gymnastics, I’m not sure I will be able to do that with the others, just the club leotard alone is £152 which has to fit just right so most girls get one or two wears out of them, then there are matching tracksuits, fees travel and accommodation costs.

If you're paying for all these things, you are hardly pinched, though! There are not essential costs, not by any means.

managed moves to UC mean you will receive the same money via transactional protection. Current UC calculators are irrelevant.

contact cab/do a benefit check online or in their premises, also try apps like Olio app for free give aways , leftover super market food and to share with neighbours. listen to martin lewis and mse website.
helping and supporting each other and working together is the only way to get through this. xxxx

@Godlovesall26 you do know you keep saying Gareth, well the shortening?

Thank you for your thought provoking response, and you are quite right. I can see that there are other degrees where the ability to work in such a way that does not comprimise the degree is extremely challenging and risky. I am sorry if my comment was insensitive and if I came across as lacking empathy.

i completely agree that change has to come from the top; 13 years of Tory control has decimated the county in so many ways and failing the most vulnerable. It is shameful that hardworking families are having to rely on food banks and that nurses, teachers , carers , social workers and so on are on their knees and having to strike to have their voices heard. It is shameful that those caring for disabled people are in poverty - I could and do weep for the state that things are in. It is awful that those in power lack integrity, decency and honesty and focus on lining their own pockets to the expense of those without power. The General Election cannot come soon enough. I have worked in care work, social work, child protection, homelessness, mental health etc for almost 30 years and the difference in which we could care for the most vulnerable was palpable when Labour were in power.

It shouldn’t have to be like this.

i do have empathy but possibly my ADHD brain makes me jump in a bit without considering the consequences so thanks for your reply. 🙂

This 100%

A couple of single moms or senior widows teaming up is hardly equivalent to the workhouse.

They started out with the same choices to work, hustle, save and reproduce within their means as the rest of us did.

I have friends living in Australia and there is a major housing crisis out there right now, worse than ours! lol

A few questions:

1. when the single mums start house-sharing, will they all be required to share a bed a La famille Bucket?
2. re: the fathers. How does one get the father to get a “six figure salary” and pay a fair share? Is there some sort of guaranteed good-salary scheme for dads?

Waking up throughout the night because I’m just too cold to sleep. Going to work in clothes that smell of damp because the heating is never on and can’t afford to run the tumble dryer. DS going to school on his only pair of school trousers that have been mended 3 times and look awful. I’m just so sick of working full time and living like this.

My son’s course has 9-5 contact time. Mon-Fri - which is huge for a uni course. Then additional work on top including weekends. So options for work during term time are limited. He can work in holidays though. His course is based in London which is a whole other level of hideousness.

i don’t think we could afford for his younger sibling to go at the same time though so am pleased he isn’t at the moment. Luckily he hates London as well.

But that isn’t financial worries of the sort described on this thread. It’s perhaps more on a par with needing ludicrously expensive gym uniforms. The clubs need to look at that unless they only want their club to be open to wealthy kids. And whilst things like gymnastic clubs are not essential they are part of what shapes kids as they grow up. They introduce children to a wider circle. In some cases those activities become a person’s livelihood, but even when they don’t they have value & can have a significant impact on someone’s life.. Why shouldn’t all children have those opportunities?

Of course at the moment a lot of families will be in the difficult position of having started these activities & now be unable to afford it. It’s hard to pull a child from something they enjoy.