I honestly cannot afford to live

[Inkdrinker]

I work 40 hour weeks, yet I was paid 6 days ago and I'm already completely out of money. My rent is more than half of my pay, council tax is a further 250 pounds, my energy bills are ridiculous despite trying to cut down on using so much.

I have 3 kids to look after. How are people going survive this? This is by no means a ploy to ask others for money, I do not want anyone's money. I just want to know I'm not alone in this situation

I knew someone would bleat 'workhouse' as soon as anyone mentioned house sharing.

The fact is, if you've bought or rented a home based on two of you earning and sharing the space (as practically all couples do) then it's basic maths that if you split, you're not going to be able to afford to continue living there (or an equivalent property) and fund a second home.

Dh and I (as most couples) bought our house with a mortgage based on our combined incomes. No way could either of us afford to remain here (or live in an equivalent house) if we split up. Basic maths.

And no, I'm not advocating the workhouse (no one is) - just that we need to look at more creative ways of living. Two households are always going to cost more than one to run. If you set up a household based on sharing, it stands to reason that you aren't going to be able to finance it on your own.

The children are already born, what the fuck do you and others suggest? Ship them off to sweep chimneys? Surrender them to SS? Cop the fuck on, you are not helpful, you are all delighted that someone is suffering and a smug fuck.

On MN, people are horrified when children share bedrooms with their own siblings, let alone if they were sharing with a housemates child or their parent.

Where are these rental houses big enough for two families to rent? Perhaps doable for 2 single parents with an only child each, but no more.

More importantly - where are the landlords that would allow this?

I fear that this is what will happen, and that despite everything people will still vote for that useless, cruel Tory party.

Little kids are expensive. It gets cheaper once at nursery or school

It gets very expensive again at about 14/15 particularly boys clothes no child
Free Vat on boys that are the size of a skinny man. They eat a LOT but they can get a job at 16 which helps which their spends. But yes trips hobbies social life. Driving lessons and uni if you want to offer them all That it adds up quick!!

@HeBeaverandSheBeaver girls eat less but they get to adult size earlier. Many will be in adult clothes and shoes by 11 or 12.

@Simulacra yes, the logistics of it would need some really creative thinking, because as things stand, it probably wouldn't work for landlords.

It's just frustrating when a small number of posters don't seem prepared to think outside the box at all and just come out with that old chestnut 'you want to reintroduce the workhouse'

I'm not advocating anything for others that I'm not applying to myself. Like I said, dh and I bought our house based on two incomes, two of us sharing heating, water bills, council tax..... if we split, would I expect to continue living here? Or in an equivalent house? Would dh? The answer is obviously no. Like I said- it's basic maths. And if my answer were 'yes, I do expect to continue living here,' who do you think should fund that? Obviously not me, can't afford it on my own, obviously not dh who would be having to fund his own place somewhere else. So how does that work?

Maybe some people will have to think of other options rather than going to uni. From the sound of it, some people would have been no worse off, if they had not gone. It might be an idea to see what apprenticeships are available to apply for.

I had not seen this post, but yes I agree about the apprenticeships being worth applying for.

Well like everything else sacrifices have to be made. How does that make PP a dick? They were spot on. It IS a luxury.

I think sacrificing your children fell out of favour a couple of thousand years ago.

@Deathbyfluffy @TheNinthLock

Read the room.
Unpleasant comments wholly unnecessary & inappropriate.

Just sharing this, hope it can help some people

corporate.asda.com/20230206/were-offering-free-porridge-to-children-in-our-asda-cafes-this-february-half-term

OP sending a hug. I'm so sorry it's shit,& glad most people are being so supportive. I don't have else to add on a day to day basis but didn't want to read & run.

To anyone for whom it's tough & there's a possibility of relocating.

I know it's anathema on here but is there a possibility of moving to Scotland? It really is easier.

The Scottish government mitigates the bedroom tax,
we don't pay for
•sanitary items
•prescriptions
•university or college fees
•buses are free for kids up to 23
• school meals for primary age kids
• water tax

Of course we pay for these things in income tax but not at point of use which really helps .

We still have tax credits & we don't have to go through the indignity of pip if unwell. There is a different system. Every baby gets a free baby box with so much inside free of charge.
Social housing is more plentiful & school meals are free. Housing is cheaper in general & so is cost of living.

Railway has been nationalised & prices are starting to come down .
We have space & despite the Bs spouted on here sometimes, English people are v welcome. We need more people in scotland especially in the islands. Some islands will pay you to relocate.

Generally it doesn't make sense to work during your degree if you are going to compromise the outcome. For a degree you should be aiming for first/2i anything less is devalued. Your degree will cost £50k+ in living costs and loans, so it makes little sense to compromise the value of that for a few £K working while you are doing it. There are a lot of degrees where workloads are high, particularly STEM, join honours as well as the normal ones like medicine that you would expect.

Still, you can make some money back working during the holidays and cutting out stuff like the gap year jaunt can save quite a bit of cash. There are also quite a lot of sponsored courses and courses with industrial placements available which not only help you top up funds but also potentially provide you with a job when you finish.

It is a luxury to plan, which I say as a mother of 3 including one, what we call "bonus baby". Had a girl then a boy fairly close together, then done. Coil inserted etc. However bonus baby #3 appeared even with coil fitted. We decided to keep them as we are financially, practically, emotionally etc secure enough.

However obviously if we ended up destitute he would be one extra mouth to feed. Depending on how close you are to instability at the time of pregnancy these factors need to be considered. Had we been shorter of money, in overcrowded housing, or insecure/no employment, illnesses/disabilities etc etc etc then I would have aborted and felt no guilt about it.

However, that is by the by given that when children are here they have to be fed and looked after, and everyone should be able to do so without starving themselves or freezing!

I've joined a few van life groups on Facebook and giving it serious consideration. Van converted for camping, solar panels all over the roof, live in full time.

Yep, that is what my youngest is doing. It seems a bit of a step backwards in terms of options/choices though?

Or maybe we need to look at how a lot of vocations are trained. Saddling the people we want (healthcare workers etc) with loads of debt seems unworkable in the current climate. I know apprenticeships are being introduced but they’re still quite rare.

A couple of single moms or senior widows teaming up is hardly equivalent to the workhouse. They started out with the same choices to work, hustle, save and reproduce within their means as the rest of us did

We don't all start in the same place, not by a long shot. It is ridiculous to suggest that's the case. Life happens - it happens more to some people than others. And you are not seriously suggesting that a widow should have married someone healthier?!

I agree with this to some extent, if I were a single parent then if I had a friend or knew someone in a similar situation (another single parent) then it would be the ideal solution. Someone to help with house work, childcare in morning/evening, split the bills, split the cooking. It would be a relief to some single mums who work full time as it would relieve some of the workload at home. For those on benefits it might financially impact them.

Be careful with this. I had a tax credits exemption but it had run out and I didn't realise.

They sent me a letter with a £100 fine. Even when I explained still had to pay it.

I now have a pre-payment cert set up it is about ten pounds a month but it covers 3 things so is worth it.

Foe people with teens / young adults them getting a part time job could help quite a bit.

I think we still also have tax credits and this is changing for the whole UK next year?

Also in the news it was saying it is taking months to decide the adult disability payments in Scotland so it is not going that well.

It does depend on the apprenticeship. Ds has been lucky. The company is good. They have given him cost of living payments ( 2 x £500 ), and now has a permanent job lined up with a decent 25k salary which I don't think is bad for a just turned 22 year old. Also the option of a company car as he has to travel around. My friends dd hasn't been so lucky, lots of problems with getting the apprenticeship signed off and not great support. I think if you can find a good apprenticeship it is definitely a worthwhile alternative to Uni.

@Inkdrinker over half salary going in rent is very high. I think most people pay about 1/3 on mortgage/rent. Could you find anywhere cheaper to rent? Your council tax is quite high too. Are you living in a big house? Could you claim any UC? If you're a single parent you should get 25 percent off council tax. If you have a partner living with you are they working too, to help out with the bills?