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Original poster

Starting a family with 110k combined income in London

179 replies

socialmedia23 · 21/12/2022 13:42

How comfortable would it be?
Net income £6100 as I don't have student loan.
Based on the rates of a local childminder, childcare would be £1600 excluding tax free childcare (mother in law has also agreed to help when she can)
Current mortgage is £1020 but our 2 bed flat is teeny and we are looking to move to a 3 bed flat which would probably increase mortgage by £700 per month. Current flat is on the market and I am paranoid that I can't move once I TTC.
Current service charge is £150 per month, would be £200 in the new flat
No car. we use public transport and bike.
We could move to a big flat in St Albans for the same price as our london flat but probably would not have MIL's childcare support and DH & I both work in the London office quite a lot so even the season ticket costs would add up quite a bit (and St A's transports costs are quite low for a Home Counties town).

I just got a new job offer verbally (which is what this figure is based on) and DH is looking for a new role (expecting to get an increase in salary as well).

I am 30 and DH is 32
Just interested to know everyone's views.

OP posts:
Original poster
socialmedia23 · 21/12/2022 13:43

Just realized this might be the wrong section for this. I could ask Mumsnet to move it if that is the case @Mumsnet

OP posts:
mast0650 · 21/12/2022 13:49

This is not going to go well. Obviously lots of people start a family in London on substantially less than that. I'm not sure what useful information you expect to get.

I'm sure that the two of you are capable of working out your own budget to see how this will work.

Original poster
socialmedia23 · 21/12/2022 13:52

mast0650 · 21/12/2022 13:49

This is not going to go well. Obviously lots of people start a family in London on substantially less than that. I'm not sure what useful information you expect to get.

I'm sure that the two of you are capable of working out your own budget to see how this will work.

How much does a baby add to the budget i.e. nappies, formula milk, baby stuff?

Do people with previous 'lifestyle bloat' find they spend less and therefore have a lot more money to play with i.e. less money on holidays, more money on days out in the zoo etc.

OP posts:
Mushroo · 21/12/2022 13:53

Before you get torn to shreds, we have similar take home and expect to be fine.

(Our mortgage is much higher as well at £2.5k).

We have healthy budgets at the moment and plan to use some savings / cut back on holidays to cover the high childcare years.

Id say you’ll be fine, but you’ll probably need to reduce some outgoings. Do you have to move now? Could you move once the free childcare kicks in? Would give you more breathing room as that £700pcm is half your childcare.

ItsBritneyBitch45 · 21/12/2022 13:54

The first comment has more or less nailed it tbh. What thoughts do you want to hear?
You and your partner can sit down to discuss what sort of life you’d like to give your child and look at your finances that way.

You can obviously afford a child on 110K yearly income…

loveisagirlnameddaisy · 21/12/2022 13:54

mast0650 · 21/12/2022 13:49

This is not going to go well. Obviously lots of people start a family in London on substantially less than that. I'm not sure what useful information you expect to get.

I'm sure that the two of you are capable of working out your own budget to see how this will work.

Why is it seen as in poor taste on MN to ask reasonable questions about money if you're earning more than the national average? Surely it's just sensible and good forward planning? Maybe OP is genuinely not good at budgeting despite earning a decent salary? Why the need to be so dismissive?

Original poster
socialmedia23 · 21/12/2022 13:55

mast0650 · 21/12/2022 13:49

This is not going to go well. Obviously lots of people start a family in London on substantially less than that. I'm not sure what useful information you expect to get.

I'm sure that the two of you are capable of working out your own budget to see how this will work.

I know a lot of people start a family in London on less than that but they may also do shift work and work opposite shifts (our jobs are very different), get help from family, may get childcare help due to being single parents etc. May have smaller mortgages due to parental help with deposits even if they don't earn much.
My situation is mortgage, possibly full time childcare (not banking too much on grandparents in case it doesn't work out) so it is the 'expensive way'.

OP posts:
TooFewSpoons · 21/12/2022 13:55

If you have that high an income, I'm assuming you are educated and can do your own budget forecasting rather than asking others on here to do it for you.
Seriously, you are overthinking this.

Original poster
socialmedia23 · 21/12/2022 13:56

loveisagirlnameddaisy · 21/12/2022 13:54

Why is it seen as in poor taste on MN to ask reasonable questions about money if you're earning more than the national average? Surely it's just sensible and good forward planning? Maybe OP is genuinely not good at budgeting despite earning a decent salary? Why the need to be so dismissive?

Show quote history

I have had very low fixed expenses for a long time. Lived with family for free for three years. Moved into my flat in 2019 and then covid happened (so not much to spend on for two years). No car. Relatively low fixed commitments so could be a bit frivolous.

OP posts:
lmnabc · 21/12/2022 13:57

Oh dear 🍿

anon666 · 21/12/2022 13:57

Go for it. It's not irresponsibly little to be able to afford to live in London. It's going to be tight but as long as you're not in the public sector, your salaries should go up year on year, eventually diminishing the value of the mortgage.

It means in a decade or so you'll have more spare income. The childcare costs are also temporary, and although crippling at the time, well worth it to keep your career (and earning capacity) progressing.

The mortgage sounds relatively high for most people on Mumsnet but affordable and likely cheaper than renting. Check how long you can fix the mortgage or do some sensitivity analysis on interest rate increases to make sure you have a bit of slack.

We stayed in London (suburbs), didn't want to move out to a boring commuter town (no offence - we live in a boring suburb instead). I've lived it, it's enriched my life no end. We tried commuting from a market town for 3 years before kids, but just make seed the easy access to London.

If you want to stay, do it. We struggled financially for years but now we're relatively well off and financially secure. Job opportunities are plentiful also so plenty of scope for income increases.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 21/12/2022 13:57

oh yes formula and nappies sets us back about 3k a month….

seriously OP how do people like you get to make so much money?

Cinnamonandcoal · 21/12/2022 14:00

People ask questions all the time on here which are vastly more trivial or stupid and they don't get told off.
I don't have the answer but why shouldn't the OP ask for views from those who are in similar situations? I'm sure it's not the only source of info but is surely a valid one.

Original poster
socialmedia23 · 21/12/2022 14:01

Mushroo · 21/12/2022 13:53

Before you get torn to shreds, we have similar take home and expect to be fine.

(Our mortgage is much higher as well at £2.5k).

We have healthy budgets at the moment and plan to use some savings / cut back on holidays to cover the high childcare years.

Id say you’ll be fine, but you’ll probably need to reduce some outgoings. Do you have to move now? Could you move once the free childcare kicks in? Would give you more breathing room as that £700pcm is half your childcare.

How many children do you have?

I know its probably sensible to wait to move but then it would really be quite cramped. It sounds silly but i have pet gerbils (that i love and rescued!) and they are living in the spare room. They are quite noisy and there isn't space for them to go in the reception. Also could do with sensible bicycle storage (which the next flat has).

At the same time, it may not be so bad if child co slept with me until age 3. I just don't want to have the baby, realize I can't move and then feel constrained for 2-3 years. First world problems I know.

OP posts:
benisright · 21/12/2022 14:01

Short answer to your question is very comfortable with your current living arrangement.

If you have further aspirations, as many Londoners do, then you do need to earn more.

Notplayingball · 21/12/2022 14:02

I have four DC and manage really well on a fraction of that family income.

Love the diversity of MN.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 21/12/2022 14:02

Cinnamonandcoal · 21/12/2022 14:00

People ask questions all the time on here which are vastly more trivial or stupid and they don't get told off.
I don't have the answer but why shouldn't the OP ask for views from those who are in similar situations? I'm sure it's not the only source of info but is surely a valid one.

Because it doesn’t take a forum to tell you that 3k disposable income for a month is bloody amazing.
I also find it ridiculous that the narrative is if you live in London you are on 6 figures- I’m certainly not, I raise two children, I don’t get any benefits -reality check!!!

BarbaraofSeville · 21/12/2022 14:02

It depends what your 'lifestyle bloat' is as to whether or not it will be naturally reigned in once you're parents.

Will you still be going on the same type of holidays? People with babies do go on holiday.

Do you eat out, go to the theatre/gigs etc a lot at the moment. You'd think you'd be doing less of that, but you might decide to carry on, but add on the cost of a baby sitter on top.

You might be imagining being busy at home with a baby, but does your DH? Or will he be one of those MN husbands who's lifestyle won't change when he becomes a father and he spends just as much as he always has on nights out, hobbies, tech etc.

Things like zoo trips can be quite cost effective. If you already work in London I'll assume you have a travel pass, so your travel costs won't change, and there's a lot to do for free, or you can get annual passes, that can be very cost effective if you have one for places you can go regularly.

As for nappies etc, you can probably more than cover the weekly cost, for less than what it costs to have a meal out for two somewhere not particularly fancy, plus it's likely you'll get a bit of child benefit towards the cost, unless one of you earns over £60k.

mondaytosunday · 21/12/2022 14:03

Unless you are planning on private education I don't see a problem. I don't think you'd cut back on holidays as such, but you will most likely curtail your nights out.
What you'll need to factor in is the cost of an extra person when doing stuff - like if you go away that's an extra plane ticket etc.
also what if one of you decides to go part time after the baby if here? There's lots of if ands or buts, but if you can sort your housing out (babies and children take up far more room than just an extra bedroom) that's the major expense.

Mushroo · 21/12/2022 14:04

@socialmedia23 none yet but just starting in TTC so we’ve been through the budgets in a similar position :)

We’ve decided to stay in the smaller flat for now, and make the move later (mainly because I don’t want to have issues TTC and then we’ll have moved for no reason, but that’s just my paranoia). I don’t think there’s a ‘right’ way round though.

We’re also hoping our current eating out / drinking / holiday money will just get redirected to family based activities.

Original poster
socialmedia23 · 21/12/2022 14:04

BarbaraofSeville · 21/12/2022 14:02

It depends what your 'lifestyle bloat' is as to whether or not it will be naturally reigned in once you're parents.

Will you still be going on the same type of holidays? People with babies do go on holiday.

Do you eat out, go to the theatre/gigs etc a lot at the moment. You'd think you'd be doing less of that, but you might decide to carry on, but add on the cost of a baby sitter on top.

You might be imagining being busy at home with a baby, but does your DH? Or will he be one of those MN husbands who's lifestyle won't change when he becomes a father and he spends just as much as he always has on nights out, hobbies, tech etc.

Things like zoo trips can be quite cost effective. If you already work in London I'll assume you have a travel pass, so your travel costs won't change, and there's a lot to do for free, or you can get annual passes, that can be very cost effective if you have one for places you can go regularly.

As for nappies etc, you can probably more than cover the weekly cost, for less than what it costs to have a meal out for two somewhere not particularly fancy, plus it's likely you'll get a bit of child benefit towards the cost, unless one of you earns over £60k.

DH earns above 60k so no child benefit.

yes thank you, that was what I was hoping to hear.

OP posts:
Reugny · 21/12/2022 14:05

If you know and get on well with your neighbours e.g. in an emergency one of them would ensure you would get to hospital then stay put for a couple of years.

Oh and any pets come after a child. So if your child needs the bedroom and they can't share, then you need to move the gerbils to the reception or your room.

Original poster
socialmedia23 · 21/12/2022 14:07

Reugny · 21/12/2022 14:05

If you know and get on well with your neighbours e.g. in an emergency one of them would ensure you would get to hospital then stay put for a couple of years.

Oh and any pets come after a child. So if your child needs the bedroom and they can't share, then you need to move the gerbils to the reception or your room.

I know but I was hoping to move to a bigger flat. I was hoping that as house prices are falling anyway, it might be a good time to move. Rather than wait 3/4 years and who knows what the situation would be like then? How is it like moving with a child? Could I get a buyer? Etc

Thats why I put my flat on the market, because if it works out, it works out. And hopefully even with an increased mortgage, we could still try to make it work....

OP posts:
Reugny · 21/12/2022 14:07

Oh and when you do move the most important thing is to do is look at primary and secondary schools, and the history of those schools.

Lcb123 · 21/12/2022 14:08

Surely only you and your partner know your limits and priorities regarding income. Make a list of income and outgoings, add childcare, add in baby necessities (just look on supermarket website for prices), and see where it lands. It sounds like you have sufficient income, and also just to point out that all childcare costs should be split 50/50 with your partner, as the way you worded it implies you would be paying. A 2-bed will be fine for a few years. a pet hate - but you are 'adding' to your family, not starting. couples are families to