Starting a family with 110k combined income in London

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How comfortable would it be?
Net income £6100 as I don't have student loan.
Based on the rates of a local childminder, childcare would be £1600 excluding tax free childcare (mother in law has also agreed to help when she can)
Current mortgage is £1020 but our 2 bed flat is teeny and we are looking to move to a 3 bed flat which would probably increase mortgage by £700 per month. Current flat is on the market and I am paranoid that I can't move once I TTC.
Current service charge is £150 per month, would be £200 in the new flat
No car. we use public transport and bike.
We could move to a big flat in St Albans for the same price as our london flat but probably would not have MIL's childcare support and DH & I both work in the London office quite a lot so even the season ticket costs would add up quite a bit (and St A's transports costs are quite low for a Home Counties town).

I just got a new job offer verbally (which is what this figure is based on) and DH is looking for a new role (expecting to get an increase in salary as well).

I am 30 and DH is 32
Just interested to know everyone's views.

It's best to move when the market is down. The percentage difference between properties is the same, but the absolute values are less.

Depends really.
You ask How much does a baby add to the budget i.e. nappies, formula milk, baby stuff? but it really depends. Reusable nappies have a bigger initial payout but less ongoing costs for example.
Babies generally need* *very little in terms of material things as compared to an older child.
A 2 bed flat would be fine, but obviously if you need or want more space thats up to you!

Yes I agree..that's why I put my flat on the market as I noticed property prices were falling. House price crashes don't happen that often in the UK and if I get a good deal, I will move... I don't know if market is up or down in 2027. I know it will probably be down in 2023 and 2024.

It's doable OP. It's quite tough if you have a child in full time childcare and live in a nice part of London. We manage ok but lots of worries over COL.

good to hear. I live in a nice part of London but its in z3 and flat prices here have stagnated since 2016. I bought after that thankfully.

Commutes with small children are tough. If you like London now and are ok with smaller space I’d probably stay in your circs. I wouldn’t move to commuterville for a flat (most people do it for their own garden).

£110k should absolutely be comfortable but it is a sign of times and high childcare costs that it probably won’t feel like it when you’re paying childcare especially if you’re losing things like child benefit. My nursery has now hit £80 a daybut some near me are on £90 a day which means I suspect London is now closer to £100 a day. This will absolutely be driving women out of the workforce and I can’t see how it is sustainable. I’ve seen quite a steep rise in things like holiday camp costs this year as well.

I definitely wouldn’t move out of London if you both work there - it is just too stressful rushing back to do nursery pickup when the trains are so unreliable. I worked in Stevenage whilst living in London (brief secondment, not worth moving), and I was often 2-3 hours late home because of signalling problems on the East Coast mainline, cancelled trains etc.

Can you imagine the stress of being stuck on a non-moving train as the minutes tick closer to 6, knowing your child and the nursery staff are sitting there waiting for you. Fine if one of you is a SAHP, changes jobs to something local, or is fully remote, but if both of you are commuting it would be hideously stressful.

We had DS on a similar household salary, and it was absolutely fine. Stayed in our 2 bed flat though. Also lovely to be in London - we are Z2 south London, and there is just so much to do here - loads of parks, playgrounds and swimming pools, every baby class and children’s club imaginable, lovely nurseries, lots of outstanding state primaries to choose from, and no need to run a car - I honestly can’t think of anywhere better to have kids.

The one near the flat I am looking at is £80.50 per day. I mean I actually find a lot of places outside London have actually equalised with London cost wise; as that is where the money is going - out of London..

I read above that your MiL goes to synagogue so your in laws are Jewish. There are a lot of community support for large Jewish families with multiple children living in NW London.

I think you'll have no trouble on that salary. We have one child live in London on 80,000 per year. That's all my husbands income as I'm a currently a student retraining but will be finishing soon and able to earn again. So we do have childcare costs too. We have managed to stay on top of the mortgage and bills also to go away each year to visit family abroad. We haven't been able to afford a second child yet though. However, on your income we would have.

thank you. I think I will ease myself into TTC by using natural family planning calendar method (without withdrawal) for now and re-evaluate in 6-8 months time. DH and I have solely relied on withdrawal method for about 8 years with zero accidents so we are probably not the most fertile! I do want to have a baby but i think i am falling into the trap of setting more and more arbitrary targets for us!

If you are sure you want to have kids just do it now. Fertility problems really do accumulate with age and you have no idea what trying to conceive is going to look like for you. I have friends that have been through so much heartache that wish they had started earlier.

I think childcare costs the bulk of any extra. Add shoes after a year (3-4 pairs a year) plus nappies (www.moneyhelper.org.uk/en/blog/life-events/are-reusable-nappies-worth-it-and-how-much-do-they-cost)

tbh i think there is perhaps no ideal time. i have spent a week with my SIL and BIL (who live in another country). They have an adorable little baby. They pay £1500 rent (and rising), childcare costs would be another £500-750. they have a car, a dog, grocery costs in their country are insane (30-50% more than London). COL is around the same as London. At the same time, salaries are much lower than in London. my SIL said they don't really have the money for a baby either, they are just winging it.

But they seem so happy...perhaps you just can't put a price on this. Their baby is well looked after and has everything she needs. They get so many presents including new pram for baby. Perhaps its not so simple as dollars and cents.

OP there is no ideal time tbh

often people become parents when they are trying to progress their careers rather than being at the top - and things can be expensive

but except for childcare you can have children frugally if you wish - and if you want kids then don’t mess about - fertility rapidly declines in your mid 30s if not before - i have so many friends who have struggled with infertility for years

You'll be fine

Crack on and you'll have time for 2-3

If you're working FT don't have kids late 30s it is tiring

And don't worry about taking shorter Mat leave with first as if u want two in 2-3y you'll be off again soon after with eldest still not in school. Also looks better for work if you have a period of being back in office 12-15m in between.

Go for it and good luck with your careers

I don't really want 2-3. I think it would be hard as i am not entirely sure how much help i would get from MIL (she was quite hands off SIL's baby-her first grandchild- though it may be that SIL didn't ask her to help and MIL is quite a shy person). I do know from talking to my SIL, that she would really love more help as it is difficult to manage a baby as a first time mum and she says if she was a grandma, she would totally help. my DH says that as a mum, she was quite hands off though to be fair she had 4, had to earn a living and DH's dad did not lift a finger so that could just be perception. But I was still a bit disappointed and am taking this as a cue that perhaps MIL would not be so proactive with the childcare help.

Another worry I have is that I would need to support my MIL and my youngest SIL in later life and I don't want two children on top of that. MIL only has state pension, SIL doesn't earn enough to pay tax (and has chronic illness/Aspergers). While they are ok now as MIL is still working/have only a tiny mortgage on their house, I really don't like to think about the future as i suspect there would be barely any welfare state/NHS left.

I recommend getting a Nanny

Don’t move now
Flat may be small but it’s two bed so not like you will be sleeping in the kitchen and that gives you a a mall financial buffer if things go a bit left field

you might have twins
your child might have additional needs/be disabled which requires cost and stops you returning to work
one of you might get ill or lose their job etc

until you have your child and things are clear and settled I would stay in the smaller flat then reassess

How can kids cost next to nothing?
I have 3 - 1 in school 2 in nursery full time.
By far the biggest cost is the nursery & child minder after school. Total costs p/m is £3k and that's with Tax Free Childcare.

Then you have food - fruits and veg are not cheap for a family of 5.

Then your mortgage , utilities etc

Anyway - to the OP yes you can survive easily on that combined income even if you had to shell out £1500pm for full time care. You won't be holidaying 3x a year but you'll be fine if you're sensible

A nanny is not an option for someone on that salary. London nanny will set you back at least £35k per annum plus you pay employer NIC and they are entitled to holidays and pay plus mat leave. I worked out it would cost be £45k minimum with all the above factored in.

Indeed. Nanny share might be more doable but it's not easy to find the right fit.

Lost earnings Vs childcare = potato / patata

house prices are falling this year though so may be a good opportunity... i don't know what the property market would be like in future years.

@ThisGirlNever Either way they don't cost next to nothing and it doesn't sound like OP wants to give up her career.