Child benefit

[Rich1981]

Hello everyone. My son is 8 and since 1year he stays with me 6 nights per week. Prior to this he was staying with me 4 nights per week for another 2 years. I have made child benefit counter claim few days ago as my ex claims everything. I'm nervous if they will allow her to keep the claim. The arrangement we have with our son is amicable because he didn't want to go with her . He was angry when at school saying that he wants to be with me so they put him on SEND program and since then stays with me. I spoke with lawyer and was told that there's no need for court order and it's unlikely that judge will issue one If my son stays with me inline with his wishes. I also heard that when 50/50 custody parents apply ( not my case) HMRC go by whos address is at doctors dentists etc. When however majority of time the child is with one parent then they will award CB to this parent . I don't want to go GP and change the address alerting my ex and start arguments between us ,but at the same time I don't want to lose a chance for support which I need taking care of my son for 6 nights. HMRC people are vague on the phone, only advice I got was " apply we will investigate". Not very helpful tho.

You need a lawyer that understands the precarious position you are in re benefits.

You should be nervous about the GP. You need to change school, GP, dentist and anything else to your address.

And don’t be surprise if she challenges it. Atm if she does the onus is on you to prove that you have your son more, but you have nothing on paper to show that.

The lawyer you are using…. How much have you paid so far?

@2bazookas from age of 3-5yo 50/50

@Razzle5 free half hour consultation plus another half hour i paid £140

To get the child element of UC you must be receiving the child benefit not one parent receiving child element and the other receiving child benefit

If you have your child's NHS number, you can usually register them online at a new GP surgery- if your surgery has this, do it. You can also find their NHS number through the 'find nhs number' service- they email or post it out I think.

@Dalooah ok . And then she won't be able to change back to hers? Because all this is too much!

you say the relationship with your ex is”amicable” so if it really is, why don’t you suggest a coffee and a chat?

@Razzle5 arrangement is amicable. Relationship is none existent

Perhaps that need to be your focus then.

Otherwise you will again spend the equivalent of 2 months CB on half hour legal advice regarding how to obtain CB

And what am I supposed to say. " Would you be kind and let me and our son have support we are entitled to"?

And she will go " ohhh.. am so sorry, please forgive me. I forgot totally. Am making call to HMRC right now. Bare with me..I will transfer you the money I received already so everything is sorted nice and fair "

She knows what she is doing,but doesn't care. Noone cares. Imagine a man taking money from government and woman takes care for children with no help?? They would hang his ass. But yeah we live in equal world I guess.

Can you discuss at mediation? Does your ex work full time? Put a claim in with cms

Imagine a man taking money from government and woman takes care for children with no help?? They would hang his ass. But yeah we live in equal world I guess.

except a woman wouldn't just sit and moan about it on the internet. They'd get the money they were entitled to.

Noone cares

you are an adult op
with a dependent child

so… adult. Quit whinging, and start articulately explaining your situation to the important parties rather than waffling on a mumsnet thread and getting no where

@Razzle5 well.. i sent counter claim. You know, when my son didn't want to go in school on days when his mother was picking him up. He was crying and telling teachers that he wants me to come after school. He was 5yo then. I tried to tell principle, teachers and everyone that there is a problem. U know what they did? They continued to grab him by his hands and drag him in as he was sliding on his shoes on the concrete. Saying to me everything is fine! That lasted for 5 months every week until I told them that I need social worker ASAP . After child psychologist spoke to all of us , school put my son on SEND program and from then I took him most of the time. Problems stopped, immediately! Now imagine little girl being dragged by her hands crying for mum, saying she doesn't want to see father. What u think would happen??
They would have ran his ass miles of the school without looking at this for 5 months.
I see what's going on, am a father and I have a son. Noone gives a crap!

Oh good heavens OP. I’ll bow out

I wish your son all the best

Just get your claim in for CB and add your son to your UC claim.
Explain the situation. Back it up with evidence.

@oviraptor21 i sent CB claim this week. I'm not going to add him to UC yet because they might not accept CB, and then automatically UC one gets rejected too triggering other changes. Maybe am wrong?

Perhaps easier to do it that way but legally, UC do not need CB to be in place to award the child element of UC.
Interesting article on the issue:
cpag.org.uk/welfare-rights/resources/article/uc-child-elements-and-child-benefit#:~:text=While%20entitlement%20to%20UC%20child,lives%20with%20the%20claimantfor%20UC.

Given the OP is currently on legacy benefits it would be a gamble moving to UC, forgoing transitional protection, without knowing that he will get the CB and child elements that his ex currently claims.

I got child benefit award this week. School has my address, GP aswel. Will I get child element now? I don't know if my ex reported change of circumstances.

I don't think OP is on legacy benefits. He's already on UC.

There doesn't seem to be any reason why you wouldn't. (And in fact in my opinion you should have requested child element to be added at the point when you took more than 50:50 responsibility for them.)
If you get refused, get some help with a mandatory reconsideration and appeal.

And well done getting the CB and GP sorted.

@oviraptor yeh. School changed it to my address aswel . I didn't know years ago that I could have child element only. But now with 7 nights is different situation.