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Original poster

Child benefit

74 replies

Rich1981 · 30/10/2022 14:08

Hello everyone. My son is 8 and since 1year he stays with me 6 nights per week. Prior to this he was staying with me 4 nights per week for another 2 years. I have made child benefit counter claim few days ago as my ex claims everything. I'm nervous if they will allow her to keep the claim. The arrangement we have with our son is amicable because he didn't want to go with her . He was angry when at school saying that he wants to be with me so they put him on SEND program and since then stays with me. I spoke with lawyer and was told that there's no need for court order and it's unlikely that judge will issue one If my son stays with me inline with his wishes. I also heard that when 50/50 custody parents apply ( not my case) HMRC go by whos address is at doctors dentists etc. When however majority of time the child is with one parent then they will award CB to this parent . I don't want to go GP and change the address alerting my ex and start arguments between us ,but at the same time I don't want to lose a chance for support which I need taking care of my son for 6 nights. HMRC people are vague on the phone, only advice I got was " apply we will investigate". Not very helpful tho.

OP posts:
SpookyPanda · 30/10/2022 19:14

If your child has an accident and they need to come round and tell you the worst has happened they will go to the address on the child's medical records.

Get it sorted

Original poster
Rich1981 · 30/10/2022 19:14

PIP and LCWRA. PIP is not linked to UC. If I then claimed child element on UC then it could trigger changes. But i wouldn't claim child element straight away. I would stick to CB for now. She can have child element.

OP posts:
RewildingAmbridge · 30/10/2022 19:16

It doesn't work like that, she shouldn't be claiming why child related veggies for a cold that doesn't reside with her. She had context overnight once a week, you are the resident person. What she is doing is benefit fraud

YerAWizardHarry · 30/10/2022 19:16

It’s not just child element though your bedroom entitlement will increase too, it’s A LOT of money and YOU are entitled to it.

RewildingAmbridge · 30/10/2022 19:17

So many terrible autocorrects I'll try again.

It doesn't work like that, she shouldn't be claiming any child related benefits for a child that doesn't reside with her. She has contact overnight once a week, you are the resident parent. What she is doing is benefit fraud

Original poster
Rich1981 · 30/10/2022 19:20

@RewildingAmbridge well.. as long as GP has her address it looks like she is not doing anything wrong. That's why am trying to make sure am doing everything ok. Because at the end of the day I don't want HMRC send me a letter saying " sorry sir she has GP at he address so she can continue have my son 1 night per week"

OP posts:
Original poster
Rich1981 · 30/10/2022 19:29

@RewildingAmbridge what should I do? My lawyer said there's no point applying for court order because in terms of child arrangement there's no conflict,she agrees with my sons wishes. When it comes to benefits lawyer told me that I should explain to HMRC my situation and it's nothing to do with family law so they won't help.

OP posts:
Razzle5 · 30/10/2022 19:38

Rich1981 · 30/10/2022 18:50

@Razzle5 because she has child benefit and I don't know if GP will allow me to do it without calling her. I told school about it and they said that they have both parents address so it's not a big deal

Yes of course they will need her agreement. But even CB aside - if he is with you 6/7 days… his registered address with the doctor, indeed everything, should be with you

Razzle5 · 30/10/2022 19:41

Rich1981 · 30/10/2022 19:14

PIP and LCWRA. PIP is not linked to UC. If I then claimed child element on UC then it could trigger changes. But i wouldn't claim child element straight away. I would stick to CB for now. She can have child element.

So your ex is also heavily on receipt of benefits?

oviraptor21 · 30/10/2022 19:43

If your child stays with you six days a week then you get both the CB and the child element of UC. You can't opt for your ex to get one and you to get the other. It's all or nothing.
You are losing out on £250, maybe £290 a month by not claiming the child element (although as PP said, there may be an impact on any existing legacy benefits you have).

Original poster
Rich1981 · 30/10/2022 19:44

@Razzle5 i don't know what she is doing. Probably some part time job. I asked since January if she wants to take my son Saturday,she said she works every Saturday. She never took him apart from Monday. Maybe she works I don't know.

OP posts:
oviraptor21 · 30/10/2022 19:45

I guess you're worried that your ex will want to your DC to stay with her more if she realises she will lose all the benefits.
How realistic is it that she would want or be able to get 50:50 for example?

girlmom21 · 30/10/2022 19:45

Rich1981 · 30/10/2022 18:59

@girlmom21 . Well why should I be asking her for money when my child stays with me. I should be claiming CB as I take most responsibilities and pay the cost. At this moment she claims for the child which doesn't live with her.

This is literally what I'm saying to you. She should let you claim child benefit and she should be paying maintenance.

girlmom21 · 30/10/2022 19:46

Rich1981 · 30/10/2022 19:10

@girlmom21 imagine your ex takes care for your child 1 night per week. U have have 6 nights. Then he claims everything and someone tells you to ask him for some change because u struggling. So he takes some money out of benefits which he shouldn't have and gives u cash in hand. Then expects you to be quiet and happy. Would you do it?

Sorry I think you're misunderstanding me. I'm not telling you to ask her for help. I'm telling you to have a proper conversation with her about getting things sorted rather than hoping nobody speaks to her.

Original poster
Rich1981 · 30/10/2022 19:48

She will not get 50/50 because my son doesn't want to. And if she tried to change anything after all this time just because I applied for CB any judge would see it's financially motivated. My lawyer told me.

OP posts:
LIZS · 30/10/2022 19:50

So what have you got to lose by applying? Although a child of 8 is not always given so much input. Are either of you likely to work in future?

Original poster
Rich1981 · 30/10/2022 19:51

@girlmom21 yeah I think it wouldn't work. She knows what she is doing. Even few days ago she messaged me to take my son random in the morning so she can view new flat. Obviously he didn't want to go so I said,no!

OP posts:
JustLyra · 30/10/2022 19:53

Rich1981 · 30/10/2022 19:14

PIP and LCWRA. PIP is not linked to UC. If I then claimed child element on UC then it could trigger changes. But i wouldn't claim child element straight away. I would stick to CB for now. She can have child element.

Why are you not going for the child element? Or at least ask her for maintenance?

That money is for your child.

I also think you should take further advice about your situation - at the moment there is nothing, expect you, saying that your child lives with you. All of the “proof” of primary residency is with the mother.

JustLyra · 30/10/2022 19:54

Rich1981 · 30/10/2022 19:48

She will not get 50/50 because my son doesn't want to. And if she tried to change anything after all this time just because I applied for CB any judge would see it's financially motivated. My lawyer told me.

Is your lawyer a family law specialist?

normally children don’t get a large say until older than 8.

popperoo · 30/10/2022 19:54

You need to have a conversation with her and ask her to ring dwp to say that she is no longer entitled to cb, you can then make a claim for cb instead. They're going to ring her anyway when they investigate so surely it would be much easier for everyone including dwp if she just rings them?

Original poster
Rich1981 · 30/10/2022 19:57

Family lawyer. My doesn't want to go with her since age of 2yo. He had problems at school anxiety and agressive behaviour crying that he wants me to pick him up. School put him on SEND program and since then she backed off . So he is staying with me.

OP posts:
JustLyra · 30/10/2022 19:59

Rich1981 · 30/10/2022 19:57

Family lawyer. My doesn't want to go with her since age of 2yo. He had problems at school anxiety and agressive behaviour crying that he wants me to pick him up. School put him on SEND program and since then she backed off . So he is staying with me.

Allowing her to claim the the child elements of UC is giving her proof of being the resident parent.

You need to cement your position for your son’s sake.

Original poster
Rich1981 · 30/10/2022 20:02

@JustLyra yes I want to but people make me nervous about GP being at her address. So am stressed out because HMRC might say GP address is enough for her to keep CB. And family lawyers don't want to deal with benefits.

OP posts:
2bazookas · 30/10/2022 20:04

My son is 8 and since 1year he stays with me 6 nights per week. Prior to this he was staying with me 4 nights per week for another 2 years.

I think what you're saying is , your son is now 8

For the last year he has stayed with you 6 nights a week.
For the preceding 2 years he stayed with you 4 nights a week.

(3 years in total)

Who did he live with for five years before that?

LIZS · 30/10/2022 20:04

If you leave it she will get to decide and apply for his secondary school.