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Original poster

Prostitution and universal credit

35 replies

tightrope83 · 03/10/2019 12:44

I dont know where to turn, Im so upset. Basily my Fiancee is working and has 5 children. She's been moved over to universal credit. She is far worse off than she has been under previous systems. She's been told what she'll now get on top of her 16hrs a week minium wage job. The trouble is the maths doesnt weigh up and it looks like she a cant aford to live, let alone provide properly for her 5 children. Im not much help as likewise I am a single parent and have to provide for my family. I am gobsmacked at what she'll have to raise her family on. As a single mum of 5 the benifit cap is kicking in too. She has no prospect of a job above mimiumum wage. Being a single mum means shes not really at liberty to work more hours. And even if she does she wouldnt be any better off on minimum wage with the current system, except her children would be worse off for not having her around and having to fend for them selves.

The only solution she can see is prostitution to bring in a bit of income to provide for her family. It broke my heart when she said the only answer she can see is using the only thing she has to make money (her body). And she is dead serious about it and the work is there in plenty of supply. I am so upset and angry, not at her but the system. I dont want her to turn to prostitution. I love her and I dont want her to be in dangerous situations or have to deal with the emotional conciquences. And I hate the thought of her being used by other men just so she can provide for her family. Its causing a lot of stress to us both and I shouted at her (I never shout). But its not her Im angry at, its a sitution that seems so injust. How can it be fair that any working parent cant receive enough to provide the basics for their familiy and has to turn to prostitution. I am so scared she will do it and I hate it.

Is there anything we can do? I've looked at the maths and im struggling to see how she can provide a decent life for her kids without some extra income. Likewise I dont see an other way to raise it.

OP posts:
Snipples · 03/10/2019 14:46

I find this post quite hard to believe but assuming it's not completely made up my suggestions are -

  • increase working hours. Much better to see a bit less of mum than have mum be a prostitute
  • make an appointment with CAB and check what benefits you're entitled to - maybe there are some you've overlooked
  • ask the children's father's for a contribution to their upbringing (chase through maintenance channels if needs be)
  • ask family for help
  • sell what you can (not your body)/ downsize/ look at ways to save money
  • do not under any circumstances have more children - sorry but that would be a terrible idea

Good luck

WrongKindOfFace · 03/10/2019 14:50

She won’t be benefit capped if she is working 16 hours. Either the figures are wrong or she’s misunderstood.

INeedNewShoes · 03/10/2019 14:51

I think she should increase her working hours before compromising her own safety by working as a prostitute. How old are her children roughly?

Do her current earnings and benefits add up to enough to cover housing/bills/food? If not, then she should go to Citizens Advice Bureau to check that she isn't entitled to more benefits.

colourlessgreenidea · 03/10/2019 15:49

I find this post quite hard to believe

How very dare you! Grin

MrsMaiselsMuff · 03/10/2019 15:58

Assuming this is real,

Why has she had to move to universal credit?

How old are her children? Are any of them twins?

My understanding is as above, she would be exempt from the cap if she is earning the equivalent of sixteen hours a week.

MrsMaiselsMuff · 03/10/2019 16:02

There are numerous reports of women turning to sex work because of payment problems with Universal Credit. If you or anyone reading this have no other option but do to this, please speak to a sex workers support service, most cities have them. If you have to take this path, they can at least support you in keeping as safe as possible in such a terrible situation.

Wildorchidz · 03/10/2019 16:05

What age is her youngest child? Are they all in nursery/school?

windsorblue · 03/10/2019 16:23

You say she has been told what she will get ? By who , job centre staff or has she got her first payment breakdown on her journal ?
Job centre staff often make mistakes when working put entitlement as half of them don't know how it works .

AnchorDownDeepBreath · 03/10/2019 16:24

You shouted at your fiancée because she told you that she's so worried about money that she's considering prostitution?

LonginesPrime · 03/10/2019 16:33

Im not much help as likewise I am a single parent and have to provide for my family.

You're planning to marry this woman - she and her DC will be your family so assuming this is real, be better.

You have absolutely no right to criticise your fiancée's decisions with such an appalling attitude to commitment yourself.

CatherineOfAragonsPrayerBook · 03/10/2019 16:33

If you or anyone reading this have no other option but do to this, please speak to a sex workers support service, most cities have them. If you have to take this path

I really am not comfortable with prostitution being spoken of as a 'necessary' route 'no other option?' Why is it only mostly women who 'have' to take this path?

I have a friend who is a single mum of 7. She manages. 2 fathers of the 4 of the children give no financial support. She is not walking the streets.

NutRoastNancy · 03/10/2019 16:35

Are any of them twins?

🙈

PotPlantKiller · 03/10/2019 16:37

The benefits cap only applies to children born after 2017 not existing children prior to that. How many of the 5 children are 2 and under?

windsorblue · 03/10/2019 16:41

If she's working 16 hours at minimum wage she should not be benefit capped they must of missed something when working out her claim.

Her0utdoors · 03/10/2019 16:49

As her fiance, are you not treated as a joint claim?

slipperywhensparticus · 03/10/2019 16:52

Only if they live together I'm guessing that's why they are apart

Morgan12 · 03/10/2019 16:52

Should have done some research before this post mate 😂

Unless she has quintuplets of course.

SherbetSaucer · 03/10/2019 17:00

This is why people should only have children they can comfortably afford to pay for themselves! It’s not the tax payers job to fund her lifestyle choices.

Nobody needs to have five kids, that’s ridiculous!!

slipperywhensparticus · 03/10/2019 17:22

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

FavouriteSong · 03/10/2019 17:29

You need to do more research before deciding prostitution is the only way forward. There's not a huge amount of money to be made in adult work these days, unless she offers speciality services which you don't seem to have considered.

WitchesGlove · 03/10/2019 17:55

Couldn’t she just do phone sex?

That wouldn’t be so bad

Could you move in together? That way you could share the childcare duties and work around each other.

For example, you work days and she works nights and weekends.

You should have enough money between you if you both do 60 hour weeks (just).

Can you move somewhere cheaper?

CatherineOfAragonsPrayerBook · 03/10/2019 18:02

Is there still money in phone sex?

I heard it was all about online chatrooms these days

Gingerkittykat · 03/10/2019 18:17

get Universal Credit and you and your partner earn more than £569 a month combined, after tax and National Insurance contributions

The benefit cap will be lifted if she earns more than the amount above but will still not pay for 3rd or more child born after April 2017.

Can you post a breakdown of what she will get? They sometimes get it wrong on the first payment.

Schuyler · 03/10/2019 18:27

Who would look after the children when she’s putting herself in danger and doing her “job”? Why can’t they provide childcare while she does a safe, actual job?

SouthWestmom · 03/10/2019 19:29

The benefits cap (housing element ) doesn't apply if you earn at least 16 hours at minimum wage.

The benefits cap (two child) applies to children born after April 2017. How many has she had since then?

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