Marching into May, packed lunches all the way ! Join the frugaleers for frugal tips and friendly chat .

[QuiteCleanBandit]

New thread

Not sure fluff. The one I really wanted was a deseased estate but very reasonable price. This has had planning for an extension on the past too on the 4th attempt. did they think I wouldn't check given it's a selling point. On balance I think it is a deseased estate.
I will see if I can link without total outing myself

I wonder how many months free council tax your council gives to empty properties?.

Ours is six then you pay full rate.

It's 6 here to fluff

So sorry Seacow

Will be another nsd here (3 in a row!) as dh won't take me out for breakfast

Will he make you breakfast instead?

I might spend money on ice cream for dc when I meet a friend later

Happy Bank Holiday! My household are right on board with this...I'm the only one up.

Just watched the weather, keep cool out there, and use lot of sunscreen!

We will need catfood and milk needed today, but it's been 6 days since I shopped so not too bad.

No he wants to tidy and clean the bathroom

Your dh really knows how to live Wreck.

It's nice weather here and we are to go to the grandparents today and help to empty boxes. Ds is playing computer games and I've been sitting in the garden reading a book about vitamin D while getting some from the sunshine. The garden looks better mowed.

I've got to do some actual work soon, because my science grant finishes soon and I haven't finished all the work. Oddly, though, I came over all relaxed a couple of months ago and decided to have a fortnight off, and I can't seem get started back to it now, as I'm really too relaxed. I must try harder. Zzzzzz

Rock of sense wreck
I'm hungry so I think I'd better get up & do something about it

Seacow so sorry to hear about your granny. You must be glad you visited so recently. Love to you all.
lonely some of the new houses being built near us are bounded by a motorway and a railway line & have precious little garden space, they still come with a big enough price tag though.
wreck love the garden pics, our garden is going to get some attention today
Em good on you for asserting yourself with dh

Yesterday was good, I found £30 in the pocket of a pair of shorts & then won £10 on the football card at the cricket club....result! The beer festival went really well and has made lots of money for our planned redevelopment. It's hard work & im tired now, but it's worth it & feels good when the effort pays off.
Ds had a great match for the first team & took 2 wickets so he is feeling very positive. Hopefully he will translate that into some constructive revision today.
Productive house & garden day ahead here hopefully.

Dh and I talked last night. I reiterated everything I said yesterday. I explained I’m tired. I needed support this week and I didn’t get any from him and it upset me. He has to help around the house (I was asked to give him a specific list of chores and to write them down so he doesn’t forget....did have to point out that this was exactly my issue. He sees the housework as “my” job and that he “helps me” with it. It’s “our” job and we “help each other”) and he has to respect my need for time alone.

He pointed out that he’s sick. Which is fair enough. But again I was sick last week. And I didn’t get any rest time. So had to ask when do I rest? He couldn’t answer me. So I guess I don’t.

I have taken a leaf out of his book though. Am currently in the bathroom. Having a shower. Or I had a shower 10 minutes ago and plan to stay in here for the next 20 - just sitting. Brought my clothes moisturiser etc in here so I’m good.

Dh tends to disappear for 40’minutes or so to “go to the toilet” funny how his phone always goes with him. Or his laptop (when he had it I’ve hidden mine) or his kindle.

Thanks so much for all the kind messages. Dad is still hanging on, rather against expectations. Mum has said she doesn’t want any of us to sit with her today - not sure whether she is just being kind and wanting us to have the BH with our families or whether she wants to be alone with dad. Anyway, we are respecting her wishes (for now) but I feel in limbo. I can’t concentrate on much so yesterday I tidied out the giant mouse nest shed and today I think we’ll do a bit more gardening. I might even go and buy some plants as I have two empty trellises looking at me. I really feel like spending money - such an emotional response. I have already been a bit naughty and bought some bits from Tu, mostly for DD (more watermelon clothes!). And I’ve ordered a couple of dresses that might work for dad’s funeral. He wanted me and my sisters to wear nice bright frocks. I found a perfect dress on Boden but it’s not in stock for 5 weeks so will be too late. It was £110 though so probably a good thing... So I’ve ordered a couple of cheaper alternatives, they may go back.

Someone cut up my cards now please.

North glad your beer festival went well, sounds like a lot of work

Lovely tidy garden Wreck. Ours is a bit smaller but a good size for London. I think it might be a bit outing to post pics though. It looks really good from a distance but up close the lawn is rubbish and it’s a lot bit weedy. Needs attention.

Fluffy Frome 😂. Are you well enough to enjoy Bath?

Morning all. Sea I get the emotional spending, stay accountable on here and don’t overdo it. I recommend a bookshelf safe a way of keeping the cards away to avoid impulse spending.

Ds and I are trying to have a better day today. I’m not really feeling it but I’m making an effort. I have got through half the washing h has left littered around the house. I’m sick of seeing it.
Ds is staying at my parents tonight and I think I will have to have a good cry the otherwise any tiny thing at work tomorrow is going to send me over the edge

Em good on you for telling dh what’s what. I think every mother I know recognises the 40 minutes poos that happen with the assistance of the mobile phone whilst the woman cleans/cooks/wrangles the children and the doing you a favour bit is real cf territory.

Sun is glorious, washing is on the line and the birdies are singing their little hearts out.

We’ve just had the most ridiculous walk. Ds wasn’t settling for his nap. So I popped him in the pram and walked him round the lanes in the sun headphones in flip flops on sunnies on. Dh followed me. And alternated between moping the whole time about how sick he is and how he shouldn’t be out blah blah. And berating me for being inconsiderate and lazy. Have pointed out that he could have stayed home.

Anyhoo. More words ensued and it transpires I don’t respect dh. I never show him I respect him. So I asked how he would like me to show it. A dance? A parade? Maybe i could get a sticker chart?

Mil arrives in 2 weeks. I think that’s all we need to say.

Ds is now napping. He enjoyed seeing the horseys (what noise do horseys make ds? Neeeeeeigh pffffff and clipclop) the chickens (cluckcluck) and the mooooocows. He was particularly interested in cows. Cows that were near the edge of the field and trotted down the road following us.

Lazy Em? Lazy! I’m surprised you didn’t feed him to the cows

Nope wolf I’m still in that “zero fucks being given” mindset. I’m just getting on with enjoying my day off. I know I’m not lazy.

I asked him to list things I hadn’t done today which needed doing. His point was that I’d stayed in bed until (shocker) 8 am. And he’s had to deal with ds.

I suspect as well he’s got his pants in a bunch because we haven’t er ahem you know for a couple of weeks. We shall be closed for the foreseeable future should this behaviour continue. 🙄😀

Wolf glad you are getting some time on your own to process things. It’s hard holding it together for other people and a good cry does vent the emotions. Can you return /get rid of any of DH’s stuff that remains?

Am going to channel my emotional spending towards the garden, which does actually need it. Mission today: buy two climbers and some lavender, maybe a rose too. And also treat the lawn with some feed /weed stuff which I bought a couple of weeks ago. I was tempted to get one of those lawn care companies to come and revive it but I’ll give it a go myself. At the end of today though as the kids aren’t meant to walk on it afterwards.

I was in Bath Weds Fluffy then down to N Devon for a couple of days then back up to Bath for Badminton Horse Trials.
Came home yest to find all 3 DC here with partners and the BBQ already on !
Sat and relaxed and ate halloumi skewers .
It was lovely.
Plenty of shopping in Bath including yarn-all planned and saved for.
Frome haha!
We have stayed at the Premier Inn there many times .
em your DH
I think what he means is he wants you to do everything so he doesnt have to !
Also your DM -is it cognitive dissonance ?5 mins ago she thought you were too stressed .
Surely he is too sick for that em?

Em H's arse ish behaviour often happened when it had been a little while since we'd been at it too

Quite sounds like a lovely evening

I've done household chores like laundry, dishwasher, sweeping, kitchen counters and fed myself and dc lunch, now we're off to playground & beach while slow cooker does it's magic with a pork joint. I know it's hot for a roast dinner but I wanted an easy meal

quite absolutely.

And yes - Dm. She’s very much a woman’s place is to do the housekeeping. Poor dh why would he do anything anyway. Bad wife.

sea I can understand her wanting a quiet day with him, you can never have too much time with a loved partner.

Em He's not covering himself in glory is he?.

We've been home an hour. I had to go to ooh this morning and I've now got 10 days antibiotics. It got worse overnight. I dream of having a fucking cold. A cold would be great. When the nurse checked my throat I gagged and started sobbing. She had to wait for me to calm down to try again. I couldn't talk to check myself in.

He has some good qualities thoughem?! I would have seriously ltb by now, can't be doing with needy/whiney men (hence why I'm still single 😉😂)

I've nipped home to check on boycat who is quiet but slightly better than Ystd. ..

It's baking hot again today, feeling very sorry for myself that I have worked the entire bh wend 😬

Spent £25 Ystd on cat stuff.
Spent £3 today on emergency food as suddenly felt starving at 11am 😮

Yes girlie loads of good qualities. Otherwise I would have left by now. It is adjusting to not being the priority I guess. Ds comes first.

Even now dh wants to go to the beach. So fine. Well go to the beach. But can he get ds stuff ready? Nope. Not a chance.