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Frugaleers hurtling through November... is it too early to mention the C word? All welcome for money saving chat!

999 replies

Cagliostro · 19/11/2017 14:18

Hi all, please settle in for chatting about all things frugal, and all things everything else :o

OP posts:
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needastrongone · 28/11/2017 20:17

Lists I agree, we’ve just all discussed amongst the family not to buy for adults. Even my DF and me dont buy for each other now as we were swapping wine effectively. It just takes one person to initiate the conversation. And saves £££ and stress.

Cagliostro · 28/11/2017 20:32

I'm quite glad we have a small family really. My parents aren't fussed about Christmas anyway - I am doing them a nice hamper of foodie treats. Other than that it's probably just our little great nephew. It's harder to buy for my DSCs now though as they are all working and tend to buy what they want and need! DGN is nearly 3 so loads to choose from. The puzzle I bought him last year is still a favourite apparently which makes me happy! :)

I just love how this thread has turned into a discussion of anxiety and so many other things over the years. From a thread aimed at saving money it's turned into something really quite amazing hasn't it? I never thought when I first joined that it would be this supportive in so many ways :)

Didn't get much shopping done as mywhat and I mostly sat cuddling the baby and chatting while the kids browsed toy shops :o :o £18 primark - got DH a hoodie, he needs another one and this has the hogwarts logo on it. And got a plain hoodie for me as I still haven't bothered ordering any (my old redbubble one is quite literally falling apart and the picture has faded beyond recognition). Maybe if I continue losing weight much less likely now I'm allowed carbs again I will treat myself then. I HATE buying clothes!

Got baby weighed today and she's 8lb 14oz already, she's gone up from around 9th to 25th centile! Really happy with that! And bumped into a lady I used to work with when I volunteered at the children's centre so that was nice.

OP posts:
lifelongfrugaleer · 28/11/2017 20:43

The thing with the chat is that alot of spending can be emotionally driven. On the flip side there is nothing more stressful than money worries.
Tis good to have the space to sound of with each other and get an alternative opinion.

Wtf is this Philip Schofield thing on ITV now !!!? Sorry PS what are your doing?

lifelongfrugaleer · 28/11/2017 20:54

Tried motherland too. Lasted 5 mins before deleting.

ememem84 · 28/11/2017 21:04

Spendy day. £64 in oasis on a dress and handbag for works do. Black lace with silvery slip underneath. Silver clutch. Will wear with either thick black tights or nude tights and shiny black courts (trusty LKBennets - years old. Still as comfy and shiny as the day I bought them).

£50 surf shop voucher for bils birthday next week.

£39 M&S on skinny jeans for me. Necessary as I’m wearing jeans a lot more now I’m on leave and I threw out a whole bunch.

£37 boots on gifts in the threefer.
£60 something jack wills on joggers and socks for dh.

£12 surf shop on a pair of socks for me. This particular brand are designed for skiing. Stay on feet. Are warm. I wear them riding. The previous pair I had has lasted 3 years.

£4 blacks on handwarmers. Decided against fancy gloves.

£6 Tesco - tinned tomatoes peanut biscuits red lentils.

Booked appointment with hairdresser for a blow dry hair up for Christmas party.

£4 something in Waitrose for pasta giant couscous and satsumas.

Have also been spinning. Then came home and gave ds a bath. Dh made spaghetti Bol for dinner. Yummmmm.

Exhausted now. Lying on bed while ds babbles away in his basket. Trying to get him to realise he needs to sleep. He’s starting to get cranky af 830. So that’s bedtime. It may be too late but we’ll slowly try and get it earlier. Slowly.

mammymammyIRL · 28/11/2017 21:36

@listsandbudgets I know exactly how you feel about the 'have to buy for' people. My list is reducing every year though.

May have got another friend on board with ynab. Friend who's going to do au pair share with me. Au pairs income goes up from €130 to €170 a week & my bill is going from €130 to €95 - yippee!!

LonelyOversharer · 28/11/2017 21:51

mammy that sounds like a win win all round re your aupair! With shutting the shop, it's a huge relief actually. Dp can't wait to get out of there, I just want to shift all the stock and be done! We are keeping the business going, he's looking at vans now ffs.

Speaking of stock, I listed a wee bike on ebay at lunchtime, 2 yrs old but still bnib, and it sold just like that! So I checked my paypal, £713!!!! Thats after 2 weeks selling stuff. Transferred £400, will pay £300 off the credit card, keep £100 for postage spends (£65 in 2 days, have posted about 30 parcels). But I'm made up, and it gives me hope. Plus it's an annoying box out of the way.

Dp put the log lap on the entire back of the shed in 2 hrs today, so we're galloping ahead.

I'm glad you're feeling better life I've unearthed a pair of polaris neoprene gloves (m) that have a split seam. If you pm me details I'll send them to you if you like, after I've fixed the seam obvs!

mammymammyIRL · 28/11/2017 22:05

Sounds like Ebay selling is really working out for you lonely
It's very exciting about au pair because ds will have his friend to play twice a week, I will see my friend more & we're both saving money Grin she'd be paying €100 for similar arrangement elsewhere without the company of other children

mammymammyIRL · 28/11/2017 22:06

Glad you're happier lonely

Girliefriendlikesflowers · 28/11/2017 22:09

lists I agree with the others, don't buy for all those people Shock just be honest and say you can't afford it. This year I had the chat with my brother and sil and we agreed to just buy for the kids, this alone has saved me a lot in terms of money, time and stress!!

I am enjoying not having to buy for teachers and childminders now dd is at secondary!!

Spendy evening,

£40 in Tesco, got the JO book (half price) tub of celebrations which were down to £4 as well as cat biscuits and washing powder and a few other bits.

£50 in Lidl, got loads of food for this and pretty much stuck to my list Halo

LillyLollyLandy · 28/11/2017 22:18

@listsandbudgets you are doing a brilliant job. It sounds like you’ve had a total mindset change. It is hard but you’re doing all the right things. Are there any Christmas fairs where you live, or “switching on of the lights” type things? Those are usually free and good fun. And yes secret Santa is great for adults, we’ve done it in our family for years. Makes life so much simpler!

@SnugglySnerd soup sounds lush!

@ememem84 agree you should always buy your own gloves to be on safe side. Plus it’s Baltic. Your fingers might fall off if you wait til Christmas to get warm gloves.

@SunnyLikeThursday Good news that you have the date for the tooth removal. I imagine however that the thought of the actual op and GA is pretty difficult for you given your past experiences? Can we help you prepare yourself at all? We could be mindfulness buddies or something if that would help?

@Cagliostro DD2 sounds so gorgeous. Enjoy. My DD2 is now a relatively big 11 month old who never stops moving!

@mammymammyIRL Excellent shopping skills! And fab news about the au pair.

@needastrongone It was me who asked about dogs! We only have carpet on our stairs and the dog isn’t allowed on the beds or sofas. He used to be but then the DC came along and it was easier to train him out of those habits than to be constantly moving him in case he squashed a small child. I already do the daily hoovering and floor washing. I think it’s his fur that is the main problem - our dog walker seems to deliberately take him to the muddiest parks she can find. I’m going to try and find the radio 5 mums and MH stuff on iPlayer, thanks for the heads up.

@Girliefriendlikesflowers You sound so organised...i really must get a move on.

@LonelyOversharer I really like the dress. Where’s it from?

Today has been a bit of a rubbish day here in LLL land. Fed up but have managed to not spend money on anything I’ve not budgeted for so I guess that’s a bit of a win. Have caught up as much as I can for now but baby’s awake so off to start the night shift! May we all have a peaceful night’s sleep...

ChristmasSeacow · 28/11/2017 23:16

Hello all! Still busy here but enjoying keeping up with the thread. I found the talk about anxiety really interesting. Genuine question: when is it anxiety rather than 'being anxious' about something? I really don't know. Like Need I am fortunate to be fairly resilient. Again I attribute that to my childhood - unstable due to DF's work but stable loving family, iyswim. Lots of moving home, lots of new schools, always the new girl. I cope well with most things but I think my comfort relationship with food goes back to those days. So I do have a crutch. Interestingly however, I realised a couple of years ago that my stress /emotional eating was really completely passive and mindless, and that if I just switched my brain on to what I was doing I didn't need to do it. It's not a strong association between food and Stress reduction, more just a mindless habit to graze. I lost quite a bit of weight through my most stressful time ever, of DS's ASD diagnosis and my dad's cancer diagnosis /treatment. Just because I paid attention to what I was eating. I am trying again now, having put lots back on through pregnancy and the sleepless aftermath.

Meadow I really feel for you. You must feel awful in every way. But you are not a burden - your situation is pure unlucky biochemistry, nothing you can do about it. Poor DH re. Driving test, the late night won't have helped but can't be helped. Easy to fail a driving test, even for good drivers. How is DGPig now?

Glad you are feeling better Life. You also sound quite chipper Lonely - great work on the selling!

Sunny I had a tooth out under GA when I was 10 and DM took me straight back to school fir the afternoon session afterwards Shock! I don't think that was a great idea but the procedure itself was very quick and as the patient you have no idea what goes on anyway. Probably harder on you, DS will be fine and hopefully that thought will get you through too.

I have not been very frugal, what with Christmas shopping and stuff. I haven't got too much left to do now - I was hoping to get it all done this month but I am still waiting for MIL-inspiration to strike, as well as one or two other awkward people! I also can't find my stash of cards and wrapping paper. I hope they are in the loft when DH gets the decs down.

Spent £75 on a real tree and stand at the weekend. I am seriously thinking about an artificial one next year. I do love a real tree but it is heck of an expense. The problem I have with fake trees is their perfect conical shape - I want them to be a bit less geometric but they never are. Sigh.

My scooter is being delivered tomorrow - I am very excited bet it comes while I am on the school run and gets taken back to the depot . Wondering whether I should get knee pads. I am not confident my enthusiasm will not outstrip my balance when racing DS!

DD's sleep is still shit, thanks for asking Need Grin

I have a ridiculous weekend coming up... I have a friend over for lunch on Friday, then my sister Friday night (DH is out). Then I have 2 couples and their kids coming for lunch on Sunday. So 12 of us altogether, 11eaters plus my DD (who, incidentally, mugged me for my banana today. I had never seen her stare so much and then she grabbed my arm and got stuck in!) . I am making my special chicken pie in advance on Saturday to be organised. Plus loads of profiteroles for pudding. That was all fine. But then I realised the local autism support group has its Christmas fair on Sunday too, so I can't go. But I feel I must bake for them. I usually make a massive lemon drizzle cake and 24 cheese scones. At £1 a piece they always sell out so it makes the group £44 just for two lots of my baking. So I'll need to do that on Saturday too. And somehow put the decs up (it's an annual Christmas get together with the Sunday friends) and clean the house. As we have no cleaner. Yikes. This is all with clingy DD in tow. Hope DH feels like baby bonding. Or hoovering not bloody likely

ChristmasSeacow · 28/11/2017 23:27

Ooh Lonely you are not selling any Colinette yarn by any chance, are you? I've only just discovered how yummy it is, just as it goes out of production Hmm.

I need to spend more money. All this walking has worn through the thighs of my two pairs of jeans so I need new ones. Will probably try Tu with 25% off as I hope to be in my thinner ones soon (but not soon enough to keep flashing all and sundry in the meantime). DS also needs a Christmas jumper for his school concert. Bet he refuses to wear the bloody thing though!

MyWhatICallNameChange · 29/11/2017 00:27

ChristmasSeacow I've just got the dreaded thigh holes on my jeans and I've only had them 2 weeks and 2 days. Not impressed! Sad

Lists, I wouldn't buy for all those people. A box of chocs to share at the most, it's what I do for my DS's teachers (he goes to a special school so has a teacher and loads of TAs in his class)

I've spent lots today. £28 on birthday/Christmas presents for my friend. £18 on home stuff in Wilkos. £20 in Maplin. £47 council tax bill. £100 on Amazon for Christmas presents.

I need to get some stocking fillers, and hope the present DS1 wants comes back in stock before Christmas. (Though as he's 18 I'm sure he won't mind waiting if it doesn't)

I don't have any family who buy for my kids as my mum died earlier this year. Ex-h's family (3 siblings) decided they would give up on presents (Christmas and birthday) for some reason despite the rule previously being buy them for kids till they're 18 (strangely all their kids are in their 20s now, so we bought for them. And I know it shouldn't be about receiving but try explaining that to kids!) MIL normally gets them a gift card.

Had a lovely time in town with Cag with lots of baby snuggles. She's the cutest. Smile

Cagliostro · 29/11/2017 03:05

Aw thanks! She didn't feel like the cutest at tap class though. Screamed the place down! We also had to stop on the way home so sat in McDonald's between bus journeys for cheese dippers a feed. She's definitely getting there with nighttime sleep though. It's her tummy giving grief in the evenings I think.

DH is off today and we have soooo much to do. I am including a nap on the to do list though!

OP posts:
lifelongfrugaleer · 29/11/2017 06:18

Lonely. I recall ages ago some scheme for high parcel sellers. Reduced postage and the ability to pre print labels and just drop parcels off. Might be worth looking into

LillyLollyLandy · 29/11/2017 06:36

Morning. Bitterly cold in SE London today. I’m dreading getting off the train at Charing Cross in a few mins, it’s lovely and warm in here!

Payday tomorrow. Leftover pounds in current account have been swept into savings account. YNAB is updated and ready to roll on 1 October. Just need to not spend anything today...

Fluffycloudland77 · 29/11/2017 06:48

The John Lewis trees will be half price soon, I think some got reduced before Xmas last year Sea. I paid £99 for ours in 2007 & haven't regretted it.

WreckTangled · 29/11/2017 07:05

Em ds started putting himself to bed at 9:30 and gradually moved it earlier himself. Since about six months he's always gone to bed at 6:30 and still does now! He's currently still asleep.

Lonely that's brilliant on the Ebay stuff!

Seacow to me it was really affecting my everyday life. In the evenings my heart would be pounding so hard for no apparent reason. I think it's normal to be anxious about things but this takes over your life and is constantly there no matter what you're doing.

Today ds has a hospital appointment as he failed his eye test in reception. Not sure if it's a false positive or not but will see.

SunnyLikeThursday · 29/11/2017 07:36

Lilly That's really extremely kind of you. That's exactly the thing really, as I still have PTSD from his first operation. Having a mindfulness buddy would be lovely. Smile I think my job is to be serenely calm this time as he will be looking to me for his queues.

Christmas OMG! really? Back at school straight after a GA is hardcore.

SnugglySnerd · 29/11/2017 07:50

Morning all. Just dealing with the day's first tantrum because I wouldn't let her close all the curtains and turn off the lights so Teddy can sleep in the living room. It was literally pitch black and the babies were rolling around in the dark!

It's freezing here today. Going to do online supermarket order and a bit more Christmas shopping.

Fluffycloudland77 · 29/11/2017 08:20

#teddybearsneedsleeptoo

Poor knackered teddy eh?.

ememem84 · 29/11/2017 08:37

Morning all! Beautiful day here. Sun is shining. I’ve been up since 530. Ds slept until 333am then went back at 415. I had another nap then gave up. Sat in the living room curtains open with a cup of tea. I do enjoy that time of morning. No one else around except the cat

Ds woke up again at 7. Dh dealt with him (and his giant poo nappy) and he’s now asleep again.

I’m going riding today. So £32. Dh is gymming either at 1.10 or 5. I’m riding at 11 so am aiming to be back here by 1245 to enable him to hit the Gym. He does CrossFit so there are set times.

Ran out of dry food for cat face today. Oops. I thought the amazon delivery was her food but it’s her litter. Oops. So she's had a treat and had wet food for breakfast. Happy catface.

The dry food has been dropped at the post office though so I’ll collect that later.

SnugglySnerd · 29/11/2017 08:47

Fluffy Grin

Laska5772 · 29/11/2017 09:20

Aagh cant keep up!! Grin.
My black friday shopping is pretty much all going back.. its all just wrong in one way or other . The Frugi clthes i thought id treat the dgds to (posh,organic,cute) are just such weird sizes . Two dresses the age 2 is bigger than the age 3 which is also no good as weirdly long with tiny arms _ all style over substance i think . And they dont do free returns it seems ( missed that) ive emailed them to complain about sizing as they will send a freepost for faults si hopefully they will (anyway wont be buying from them again) .
JL order was a seasalt dress which made me look about the size of a bus and jumper for Dgs which is also going to be too small .. I didnt do too well there.. but at least thats a frugal win.. ill be giving Dd money for dgds clothes i think and she can choose .. Have got them books and the puppets to open.

My new Kindle finally came after a week delay because for some reason payment wasnt taken. I repaid but its still not showing up on my card and neither is the Dyson yet..

Want to write somthing about anxiety and spending will later (at work now !!)

Cold innit?

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