Frugaleers hurtling through November... is it too early to mention the C word? All welcome for money saving chat!

[Cagliostro]

Hi all, please settle in for chatting about all things frugal, and all things everything else :o

I had a few sessions with a talking therapist. Tbh just telling someone I was struggling was such a help. I didn't realise at the time but looking back I was really suffering and in actual fact it was the people on this thread that said it sounded like I had anxiety and that prompted me to see the gp

Christmas is very stressful, there's probably better times to come off meds.

North Your DD sounds delightful.

I’ll be back to update later. But I didn’t get chips

Dh also came home 2 hours later than he told me he was. Sigh. I’m not annoyed he stayed out more annoyed he said he was coming home then stayed out. But judging by some of the relationships threads I’ve read here the past week or so I’m lucky he came home at all.

Wreck I find it helpful to talk about stuff too, and especially to someone who is not in any of the situations and will not pass it on. Oddly, having practised talking about things, I find it much easier to then go and talk about the problems to the actual people themselves. Having tried it, I'm wondering why psychology treatment is so taboo, because it does seem very helpful.

I agree that Christmas is stressful. I keep wondering if we could change things to make it easier. An Israeli friend once told me that it's hilarious to watch them mess we all get ourselves into at Christmas, from his perspective of having just a normal week with nothing to frazzle about in that same week. This Christmas I'd like to just keep everything more normal.

It's tricky though as I can see my ds reaching fever pitch with school and everything.

Sunny you are so right about anxiety being more common than we realise/admit. There's too much stigma around these things but there shouldn't be!

Oddly I don't find Christmas stressful at all (other than wondering if we are doing presents with SIL or not as it seems to change each year and nobody talks about it). I struggle with winter generally but Christmas is the big thing that helps me though it, although I'm not as excited this year. But I think we are quite lucky having a small family with no politics, it'll just be us four and we will FaceTime my parents (can't spend the day together due to transport - once we've moved though we should have room for them to stay). Nice food and new toys games and DVDs, all good here. We then get a second Christmas every year with DSCs, and that is always awesome - actually it's really thanks to them I enjoy Christmas more now as I hated it growing up (parents who didn't celebrate or DO anything!). We play heaps of board games and for the last few years we've taken it in turns to make a quiz on PowerPoint with Christmas trivia, stuff about events during that year, picture/sound rounds (when it was my turn though I played TV themes on the piano instead :o). DH buys a silly prize like a gumball machine, and everyone gets insanely competitive. It's fabulous!

Do you mean 'just us five' Cag?

My Dyson has arrived and is charging. Woo hoo!

Need, stick your head in and let us know you're okay!

bit annoyed that Exploding Kittens is on the sale s I only bought it last week..

Am a bit hungover.I blame the weekend guests who of course sat on my chest and pouredit all in .. They have all gone out with DHto local RSPB place whilst I waited for Dyson delivery.. (then it arrived 5 mins after they had gone).. I may just go back to bed for a little while with the paper.

we are having a takeaway Indian tonight , but I wont be paying..

Dh always says he likes Christmas now he's with me. It's what a sensible Dh would say though.

£2 parking
£5 food
£5 fuel
£8.25 cat calendar.

£21 skincare.

Hello everyone I’m so sorry for being rubbish lately, things have been very busy and I’ve just not had a minute to myself! I’ve been trying to catch up this morning but have a memory like a sieve.

@LonelyOversharer and @Cagliostro I know what you mean about anxiety and adrenaline. I am working on recovery from PTSD and I’m finding that the slightest bit of adrenaline is triggering anxiety.

I too am finding that this thread has really helped me get back in control of my finances and other parts of my life. Knowing that @mammymammyIRL and @Laska5772 are keeping on top of their YNAB reminds me to check mine too! And it sounds silly but knowing there are other mums on here who also have non sleeping babies cheers me up no end

Right off to catch up properly!

I’ve been absolutely flat out with work and the children lately that my frugaleering halo has wobbled rather a lot.

Like @WreckTangled I’ve bought lunch on a few more occasions than I should have...I have kept the flask of tea habit going though so have saved a few quid here and there!

Oddly, now that I’ve upped the grocery budget I’m spending less overall  Not sure why this is!

I have also decided to downgrade my skincare just while I get this credit card sorted. Normally I use Elemis, Decleor, Charlotte Tilbury (I’m a complete cosmetics addict) but I’m now using L’Oreal Revitaliste (?) and I am absolutely amazed at how good the stuff is!! I might actually keep these swaps! Serum, day and night creams for less than £20 all in as opposed to my usual spend of £100+ 

We’ve also set a Christmas budget for the first time ever! Exciting! Doing a secret Santa with my parents, DH, my DB and DSIL. £50 budget, which is so much cheaper than buying for all of them. We’re also doing that “something they want, need, to wear, to read and to do” for the DC, rather than buy them lots of random crap.

How’s everyone else doing? I’m currently working through the Organised Mum’s Christmas planning schedules, she got quite a lot of flak a week or so ago on GMB (or was it This Morning) but I’m finding it really useful to just remind me of what I need to do! She’s a Mumsnet blogger too I think.

Have you looked at the ordinary? It's effective but so cheap. Need put me onto it & I was really sceptical but I've been converted.

The simple cleansing oil I'm using is lasting well so when I've used up all 8 bottles I'll be switching to grape seed oil with vitamin e. Which is all it basically is.

No I haven’t, Fluffy. I will have a look!

Do you mean 'just us five' Cag?

Oops :o

Spendiest. Day. Ever.

Sorted a new phone - basic android £44 including SIM card adaptor
£1.50 DH found a fractions tower set in the charity shop, little did he know it's been on my wishlist for ages at £10 so yay!
£10 preordered the colour illustrated Charlie and the Great Glass Elevator - was hoping to get it for Christmas but I thought sod it, they will love it (we have loads of the colour editions of Dahl)
Various other spends by DH including getting the caglets random things as a treat. Softie.

And... £519... I now have an iPad bye bye birthday/Christmas/whatever money! Included 3 year accidental damage cover in istore and a decent case too. I ended up getting a normal size one as with the Black Friday offers it was only £7 more than the mini

Hi all, but weary here been a busy morning with riding and borrowing a friends puppy to walk and give dd some dog time!! Relaxing for a bit now as going out tonight, meeting some friends for dinner at Nandos, love it there

Sunny do you think you could have some sensory processing difficulties, you seems to struggle with certain things like lighting, smells etc which sounds a lot like dd who has SPD.

I agree with the talk about normalising mental health troubles, a friend once pointed out you wouldn't expect someone to get through life without ever having physical health problems and the same should be true for mental heath problems. I have had anxiety on and off for years, it was at its worse when I was around 18yo and was more or less agoraphobic I had horrendous side effects when I tried meds and found mindfulness/ therapy worked best.

Spent £5 in a cafe on hot chocs

Thank you for game advice Cag keep adding them to my Amazon basket

Just checking in. Busy day and I have a cold. Will catch up later.

[lemsip] for snuggly

No probs girlie it's probably fairly clear I could blather on about games all day I get quite nervous recommending though in case people don't like them! One thing I find useful is to look up a PDF of the rules online as then I can get a good idea if it's my kind of game. But then, I am the kind of nerd who will happily sit and read game rules for fun :o

I agree re mindfulness. I try and use it to stop myself spiralling and it does work quite well most of the time :)

Girlie Yes maybe. I'm not sure there's any magic solution for that though is there?

Done some spends. Again. £31 Macdonalds for 6 of us, thats 4 adult meals, a happy meal and just a burger for me (christmas chicken thing, nice and spicy). £40 in asda, cat food, milk, cheese board, the usual. Christmas has exploded in asda. I want a Christmas dress. I think I will look very silly in one. Lots of cuddly jumpers, and some nice shirts with polar bears etc on. Might have to get my big girls some.

And another £57 in amazon. But I got an outside chrimbo projector thing. I almost got one last year but dp wasn't keen. So I haven't told him and bought one anyway. I'm in that sort of mood. Plus 2 more pressies. Pre ordered 2 fingerlings. I almost bought the wretched things months ago, but thought it was to early for christmas and now they are sold out everywhere. They haven't asked for them, but I know dd3's bff is getting some, so she'll need one madly too.

TMI-warning:

Girlie I've also wondered if the sensitivity to smells is a perimenopause thing because it started during pregnancy and is now getting better as my periods are changing from 7 days long to 2 days. Maybe it's just the hormonal upheaval that kicks off sensitivity to smells generally, since it's also a feature of pregnancy?

I also wondered if that might be the cause of anxiety in some women, since it seems perhaps to be a feature of the child-bearing years, and perhaps less prevalent post-menopause when women are inclined to be a bit more feisty?

Hi guys. I here. Just had a busy week, 'tis all. Lots of training, work, life stuff etc.

I've not kept up with the thread tbh, but I've been on point with cracking on with Christmas shopping and keeping up with the finances.

As it was pay day yesterday I've reviewed my goals and expenditure and had a good month.

Spends on items -
£180 fuel. A couple of big drives so that's much higher than normal.
£260 pony, including fuel for the horse box. That's a cheap pony month.
£105, nails x 2, toes, brows, hair cut and highlighted.
£85 - race entry. Very high indeed but only because that's paying for planned races through next year.
£460 - Christmas, mainly stuff for the DC.
£750 - food. All four of us, all meals. That includes wine and cleaning products etc within a supermarket shop. I'm not fussed that it's high, eating really well is a big deal for me.
£90 on things for the house.
£40 on thermal tights/leggings. No other clothes spends this month.

There's loads of other spends, general stuff. Nothing major. I'll be even more detailed this month.

I've saved another £500, so really chuffed given it's an expensive time of year.

Also lucky, we have the income that we do but I'm keeping an eye on the future now, given DH's plans.

Additional income was £15 on FB sales, £45 race winnings, £15 M&S voucher, £10 Amazon voucher.

I've also got all the general Christmas stuff like biscuits, pudding blah blah, most of the presents now too so this was the biggest month for Christmas spends.

I'm hoping to keep up.

Fluffy, I'm transitioning to vegetarian, substituting diary where I can (but not religiously at the minute) and checking for palm oil. It's everywhere. I've been reading a lot. I prefer how I feel, astonished how much training I can take - that's the reason really. Bit ethical, bit health, mainly for competing.

First lesson in a sand school in 6 months for the pony, first time he's loaded and traveled in that time to. He walked onto the box and flew through the lesson without any hint of stiffness. Love our old grumpy man.

Going out to friends tonight, they are cooking an Italian as we treated them when we were in Italy.

Oh and £105 income on refund from Eon. That will go straight towards the cost of winter heating.

I've also sorted DM's winter fuel, which inexplicably DWP halved and she was in a stress. She's being nice to me at the minute because of this

I've tried three times to go vegetarian & each time I end up feeling so ill. I'd like to for ethical reasons.

I think I struggle to get enough fat, I've noticed other vegetarians rely on cheese but I'm allergic to milk. Some vegans argue milk is less ethical than meat

One of my relatives who shall remain nameless is veggie, she has bacon at home, ate two different types of meat at my wedding despite the venue saying she could have ANY vegetarian dish she wanted & eats turkey at Christmas. Vegetarianism is a lot more flexible than you think.

No no magic potion unfortunately sunny but it does help other people understand it's not just you being fussy etc it is genuinely distressing iyswim?

I'm already dreading the menopause as my hormones play me up at the best of times!!