Amazing April Austerity.

[CremeEggThief]

Hi All,
Taking the liberty of starting a new thread, as I went to post spends on the old one and it's full.

We had a lovely day out at the seaside and visited an old lighthouse as part of it. As we rely on public transport, that's always a big part of our days out spend.
£9.60 bus fares.
£9.60 train fares (with the family railcard).
£6 lunch from Sainsburys ( £3 meal deal each).
£4.50 entrance to the lighthouse.
£7.10 coffee, hot chocolate and cookies in a café afterwards.

Oh and DS needed a haircut, which I think was £6.50.

Thanks Bees. :-) I tried to be very clever and take Easter off from my writing job, but ds is like two full time jobs just by himself so I'm still not getting ten minutes of quiet uninterrupted thought even during my holiday. The other problem is that all the other kids have vanished, either to visit distant family or to go to full-day holiday clubs while mums work. We seem to be the only family who have a SAHM and who have not packed up and gone. I'd gladly zoom off to family, but I'm not quite recovered enough health-wise yet. I nearly am though.

I think its different in my case Ipsos as working is something i have to do as the alternative would be claiming benefits. I think the mentality is then different and although dd is always my priority she does also have to understand that mum has to work therefore sometimes she has to go to after school club, holiday clubs or to her Grandparents etc. The times I really struggle is when (like before Easter) dd is ill, then life gets very stressful!!

Would also love a cleaner but there is no way I could afford it, I think house work is something I try and keep on top of so we don't live in a pig sty but also don't get overly precious about. Plus like you said kids come with a whole lot of stuff, with the best will in the world there is only so much you can do!

Does your dh help out much? Could he take your ds off for an afternoon so you can get some work done?

Right the plan today is to go to a place called Air hop, I am trying not to panic as it is a motor way drive why do I always thing these things are a good idea at the time but its booked and dd will love it so we are going to go for it. Have already paid online, was £21 for dd and I to bounce!!

Hi girlie yes I know what you mean. I'm in a different place really. Dh helps but we have no grandparents around locally.

NSD again. I have to do the weekly shop online later.

We won't be getting a cleaner when I start work. Because DH and I do it together. Just little jobs everyday to keep on top of things. But then there is only 3 of us and a cat.

Road runner! That's good taste your boy's got Ipsos - we LOVE Looney Tunes. I used to have glow in the dark pyjamas with Wile E Coyote on them :o lots of other retro cartoons here too - Dungeons and Dragons, Dangermouse, Trap Door etc.

Hope all the poorly people feel better. My throat is worse and feels like it might be going chestwards which is not good! Had to give the cinema a miss, annoying to have wasted my ticket - although since DH can use my bus pass, we've saved more than that in bus fares anyway.

Anyone have any experience of taking part in medical trials? DH saw one from Hammersmith Medicines Research, pays a lot.

Also Ipsos just a thought, and it may not be a good idea if you are finding things tough ATM, but might be worth considering in future - do you know the parents of these other local children? Perhaps you could offer to babysit one for a day, so your DS gets a playmate and the family saves a day's childcare so they'll be pleased too? I organised this with one of our neighbours a few weeks ago and I'll probably offer once each holiday now. Admittedly it's much lower maintenance as she is older.

So funny cag. I love the old ones too. They even play Mr Benn at school here which I like very much. Be very very careful about medical trials Cag. Medical researchers are people too and they do make mistakes. That's partly what trials are there to test for.

I did think about offering to look after another child, but my health is really unreliable so I worry about taking responsibility for two. It does seem like a good idea though. The best thing we have is a neighbour who is 10 and whose parents are retired so we see him a lot. He's gone away just now and is much missed. He's away for 5 weeks in the summer.

Sounds as if your house is tidier than ours Collie. Our house seems to explode into chaos every five minutes.

That's a fab idea cag!

Ipsos it used to be chaos. But we stopped hoarding and sorted the clutter. We had to change the way we live for a simpler life. It was that simple.

That sounds great Collie. How do you manage with toys? That is our biggest problem, espcially lego. Ds is 6 now and he really has a lot of toys. I've always been careful to buy good things that will last but that means it makes no sense to throw things out or sell on, so now we are neck deep in lego. I've started putting some of it in the loft and rotating the boxes round. What did you do?

I've had a rubbish day. New job offer been withdrawn due to reference from current employer which I think is massively unfair. My notice is handed in. Not sure where to go from here. Xx

What was in the reference?. It's a massive kick in the teeth.

I'm so sorry.

Oh no don't that is rubbish. Can you get hold of the reference? Will you be able to withdraw your notice.

Gosh that's harsh Dont. I'm so sorry to hear that. Going back to the previous job isn't going to be a whole pack of laughs when they've given you a dodgy reference. Did they tell you what the problem was?

I'm on a phased return for next four weeks then will have 3 weeks notice left to take. I had at least 9.5 days annual leave accrued which I need to take- but my manager told me she can't accommodate it yet it's available in the office. I've no job to carry it over to now. I'm still leaving regardless. She's cancelled all my training because her own words "why should she pay if I'm leaving". I'm a nurse so it's things like IV and bloods etc which are vital for career progression.

I'm on the bank so can still do shifts there around times that suit me so not all is lost. I'm going to rearrange apply for the job once my confidence has improved.

I'll prove them all wrong.

Reference stated I struggled to cope with ward environment and I seemed disinterested. Never have I, and she's never mentioned this to me so surely if it was such a big problem she would have brought it up with me as it's detrimental to patient care. I feel this is personal. Two previous work friends had the same thing.

Dont I'm so sorry, that's horrible. I would've thought that would count as a negative reference which I thought wasn't allowed?

I didn't think they were allowed to put stuff like that in references? at least not in my sector they're not

It sounds like someone is on a power trip here. I've had some shocking NHS managers, there's some right bitches in the NHS.

I did agency work for 10 years and it paid really well. Are you in unison?.

That's rubbish don't, sorry to hear that. I didn't think they were allowed to put things like that in references??
Wish the weather would make it's mind up so I can decide whether to hang washing out or put dryer on. It's been showers/bright sunshine all day here.

I'm in the RCN union fluffy. It's really knocked me although I have a plan in some ways.

Do they do free legal advice? 3 people getting poor references is a bit dodgy.

I feel humiliated more than anything. I'll write more later. I wrote a post in employment issues about it where detail is there.

I'm on the bank so can pick up shifts and do some training there. I'll then reapply for said job.

I'm so sorry Don't. It doesn't sound particularly reasonable or fair, and I thought references were not supposed to be negative. You need to get the union involved or access any free employment advice you have available. Rotten all round. Poor you.

Ipsos, I've been thinking as I drove back from work (half day today). Do you respond well to lists? Would that help you feel organised? I like a daily list, and a list of some stuff I want to accomplish on a weekly basis too. Really helps me stay organised and in control. I would feel overwhelmed if with Kondoing, or however you say it (!), but one small task a day like, say tidying one drawer, or wiping the door frames, sorting the post pile or whatever feels doable to me.

I wondered if you could do your work at say, 9 till 10am, whatever, term time. Not negotiable, then plan around that? If you want to work that this, if you don't then drop the stress and drop the work maybe?

DS has had £20 from me to go to the cinema, and DD has gone of with some of my cash with her friend to get new jodphurs.

DS has made £50 though, walking my friends dog for 2 days, I treated him anyway as he gets nothing spend on him compared to DD.

I keep losing posts!

Dont oh my god! That's awful. Big hugs. Sounds like the problem is her, not you

Ipsos I have all my Lego from the 80s. My brother and I had loads! It's in a giant plastic flexi tub (DS will love it in a few years!). The other toy storage is the Trofast Toy Storage from Ikea. It's wonderful.
We also have a large foldable Ottoman from Argos which was £25 and it holds so many random toys.

When we were kids we used to play with Lego on a playmat. Purely so my mum could just pick it up and tip the Lego back in the box when we were finished. Was such a good idea considering all the tiny pieces. We were shit at tidying up after ourselves