Can't cope anymore with being so broke, it's soul destroying

[MakeThemEatCake]

I know I'm not the only one going through this, far from it. And I know compared to most of the world I'm considered very fortunate to have what I have, but honestly....I'm sitting here with tears in my eyes wondering how I'm going to cope, I have never been so badly off.

I'm on esa, which was due yesterday but hasn't been paid due to them not receiving my sick note so got to get another one tomorrow.
My bank is overdrawn (over my od limit) so am racking up charges as the days go by. We have no food in except some frozen chips and half a loaf of bread. My ds is an extremely fussy eater and has now decided he won't drink the milk we have in because its not got a vegetarian symbol on it.
Everywhere I go I look for pennies in the street that might have been dropped. My ds has nothing in parentpay for school so can't get a drink like his mates, he has to take the same bottle with squash in. Right now the chips are in the oven and the gas is on emergency and about to run out.
My phone bill is 3 days late and they'll be cutting me off within a few hours. Its my only form of communication with anyone as no computer anymore since it broke.

I owe a friend 20 quid which she's asked for a few times.
sigh I'm sorry to moan but feel demoralised and basically like a loser

Want to go to food bank but I've read that if you do then a referral to SS is made immediately.

Hey cherry lovely to hear from you glad the op is done and you're home and can recover. Hope you're not in too much pain.

You're absolutely right, it shouldn't matter at all WHY you're unfit for work, just that you are, and that you can provide proof of that. So bloody intrusive of them.
Still, I'm glad you weren't bombarded by creditors when you got home, that's the last thing you need after an op.

I'm doing alright thank you. Got to have surgery myself in 3-4 months, which I'm dreading. I'm severely anxious about general anaesthetics, and was hoping they'd do it under a local one but no joy. I'll be out of action for 6 weeks after so interested to see how that one will work! I do pretty much everything at home so partner will have to step up...we'll see.

I had an esa work capability assessment also this week, it was awful and I doubt I've got enough points to stay on esa, so only hope right now is the PIP application. Will let you know how it goes, hope you get to hear some good news regarding yours soon

If it gets turned down you can appeal. And would be very worthwhile getting in touch with the charities that offer benefits advice. My SW knows the process so well, she met me at a coffee shop about 500 m away from the assessment centre, specifically to observe my mobility, (although she didn't tell me why). So while I'm someone who's always downplayed my problems, as I'm a bit "private" about myself, she was able to see clearly that I was struggling slightly to walk and knew that I was breathless after about 25m.
And I know how unhelpful partners can be, mine's doing the cooking and looking after the animals, but walking all over the house with his muddy boots and looking very grumpy about things! I'm not overly house proud, but before my surgery I springcleaned the house, power washed the patio, washed the dog beds and got my laundry done, so it wasn't too bad coming home.
Did you take any info with you re your upcoming surgery?

Hi cherrytree and I guess anyone else who's interested and reading.

I'm so upset - had a phone call from DWP today, they told me my ESA will stop from today. So I failed the health assessment last week. I can't cope, I'm unemployable as it stands right now and don't understand how they can find me fit for work when I talked as though it was my worst possible day. They don't give a shit about people, this government. Sorry, don't want to turn this into a political debate. I'm sure anyone on my side of things can see what I'm saying.

Is there any point in appealing? From what I've read online, most appeals get turned down anyway. I just hate my life and myself

Cherry, I didn't take any info about my surgery with me as I don't have any yet - am waiting for my letter. How are you doing?

Can you start a PIP application? I think it's disgusting, no understanding of when you can really work and when you can't

Thanks random it is upsetting. Won't say too much but I've got both physical and mental issues which an employer will not like to deal with. There's just too much.

I've applied for PIP, just waiting now.

My manager suggested that I'd be better off not working due to my issues. Well yes that would be better for my health it's just that little fact of needing money to live...

Ha yes, I'm sure lots of us are 'better not working' luckily these bills just take care of themselves eh

I honestly think some people get annoyed when other have health problems, in fact my own DM said recently when I had a migraine and was confined to bed, "For God's sake ANOTHER migraine? I'm getting really sick of you having these all the time!" I'm so sorry that my agonising neurological condition puts you out so much

So sorry you're going through this.

Yes it IS worth appealing.

I've started the process twice and each time not even had to reach the full appeal before getting it reinstated (though it took months).

Do it immediately, as the time frame has been narrowed and narrowed over the years.

Not too chipper myself today, so afraid I can't help with details, but benefitsandwork website is well worth the membership fee.

And don't trust the DWP about ANYTHING. At one stage they were paying people to ring up anyone who'd put in an appeal, to try to talk them out of it.

Do as much as you can in writing, signed for, keep a copy. Keep a log of all contacts if you do have to do anything by phone. It's shit that you have to work hard at making a successful application to show you're... too ill to work hard.

Still, at least the fuckers let you know. Last time mine was stopped, they informed me two weeks AFTERWARDS. Fortunately no bills bounced, but that was just luck.

Sorry, should say it MAY be worth appealing - I don't know your medical circumstances, obvs. And I do know there's a huge mental toll in dealing with the DWP and their minions.

Oh Cake I'm so sorry. Please take the time to appeal, but with help and advice from someone who knows the process. I don't know how to access the help anywhere but my own borough, (Croydon) but maybe CAB or CAMHS could direct you?
I have my PIP consultation in a couple of weeks.
I had a lovely chat with my OH Doctor today, he went through my retirement options with me. He's going to suggest to my manager (who made me cry last time I spoke to her, I'm quite a toughie, but felt I was being bullied) that a decision is postponed until the New Year as I'm recovering from surgery, plus I've got some more tests coming up for my other health conditions.
After hearing my retirement options, I'm more inclined to resign or be dismissed. Terminating my contract due to incapacity will not look good on any future CV, but I would receive a month's salary.
And yes to other people getting annoyed... I'm sure my DP takes it personally, I'm asking for very little, he makes me tea before he leaves in the morning, dinner in the evening and runs OUR dogs. If I ask for anything else he sighs and shrugs, or says "whatever" . I've been home for 6 days and he hasn't given me one single hug, even yesterday when I broke down in tears and said I look like a freak.
Anyway, this is your thread Cake, and I'm sorry for my derailment.

Aw cherry I am so sorry your dp is not supporting you the way you need him to please don't apologise, I'm happy to listen and am glad you've shared on here what you're going through. He should be hugging you, and actually bloody well looking after you! I do feel your pain and am in the exact same situation.

Still, its good news regarding your Dr and possible retirement, please do let me know how you get on at the pip assessment although will probably speak to you before then. Its all a struggle, fighting for the pittance the government seem determined to hold back from so many.

Thank you Pausingflatley
They are absolute arseholes, so that doesn't surprise me at all to hear DWP try their best to talk people out of appealing. Well nothing will talk me out of it!! Do you know if its an independent body who decide on the outcome of appeals? I'll try to search for some tips on maximising my chances.
Oh and yes I'll keep a written record of everything. I've now had to apply for jsa today and got an interview with them Fri. I'm just going round in circles hopefully will get somewhere with pip, but as you said, its a shit load of work considering we're actually signed off work...