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Original poster

Parents want me to do and kids to do covid test before visiting

550 replies

Needarest22 · 22/12/2022 12:51

AIBU for being a bit put out by this?
My brother is also visiting and he's really cautious about covid so it could be driven by him. There is no talk of them doing one.
AIBU to be a bit miffed?

OP posts:
CheesesandWines · 22/12/2022 17:38

Why don't you do the very simple test to reduce the chance of passing on covid to others ? You clearly know you are being unreasonable.

WestwardHo1 · 22/12/2022 17:39

They're increasing as you'd expect at this time of year but they're certainly not sky high

Parents want me to do and kids to do covid test before visiting
SlouchingTowardsBethlehemAgain · 22/12/2022 17:51

Don't be miffed - protect your family.

Megifer · 22/12/2022 17:54

WestwardHo1 · 22/12/2022 17:30

So if your parent/s got Covid in the next couple of weeks, and you had seen them recently and not taken a test (because you hadn't been ill) you'd be self flagellating in case your parent/s (or whoever) might have caught Covid from you, which you might have been carrying without your knowledge?

Is this how people are operating nowadays?

Show quote history

Self flaggelate? No. Be a bit upset if I was a wanker who didn't test before i went to see them after they asked me to? Well, probably no again, because I'd be a wanker innit.

Be upset if I wasnt a wanker who tested negative but still had it and likely passed it to them? Yep. Blame myself for not testing so at least I had tried to reduce the risk to them as they asked? No.

BTW Has the incubation period now developed to weeks rather than days? No wonder I've heard of so many people catching it again. Do you think the PHE know? Might be worth popping them an email 👍

Crazycrazylady · 22/12/2022 17:57

Ah it's seems very mean spirited not to go because they've asked you to test. My parents have odd little quirks that I think are mental but I go along with them because they a) normally cost me nothing and b) reassures them and I love them and want to reassure them even if I think they are semi bonkers half the time.

Nameismadeup · 22/12/2022 18:03

Needarest22 · 22/12/2022 13:15

They do live very limited lives so they probably don't have it.

Maybe they don't fancy you joining. You sound contemptuous of them

Nameismadeup · 22/12/2022 18:07

Needarest22 · 22/12/2022 15:47

My concern also is that the tests are not failsafe and so we could quite easily pass on a strain of covid or a flu or a cough. Perhaps it's better we don't go at all.

Oh my, what a martyr as well.

Tests are pretty accurate if you have it. If the tests show you have it, you shouldn't go.

If 2 people are testing, the chance of both of your tests being negative if you have it is low.

If you are mixing and they are not because they are nervous, it makes sense you test. It's really not very inconvenient and it shows you care about their health more than a stick up your nose. If you care more about a stick up your nose, then maybe they aren't the people you should be spending Christmas with

WestwardHo1 · 22/12/2022 18:15

Megifer · 22/12/2022 17:54

Self flaggelate? No. Be a bit upset if I was a wanker who didn't test before i went to see them after they asked me to? Well, probably no again, because I'd be a wanker innit.

Be upset if I wasnt a wanker who tested negative but still had it and likely passed it to them? Yep. Blame myself for not testing so at least I had tried to reduce the risk to them as they asked? No.

BTW Has the incubation period now developed to weeks rather than days? No wonder I've heard of so many people catching it again. Do you think the PHE know? Might be worth popping them an email 👍

Show quote history

Ah ok. Just checking.

Throughout the pandemic what was increasingly baffling was the total lack of logic being applied.

People generally seemed to be developing a more sensible view of things. However it seems a significant number miss the lack of logic days, and are embracing them again. The chap in the park I saw today wearing a mask for example . The insisting on a negative test from well people before get togethers, even though the tests are so flawed, for no other reason than "well my conscience would be clear".

Megifer · 22/12/2022 18:40

I think most people who test do so because they have an extremely basic understanding that testing provides more assurances than not testing at all, even if they can be wrong on occasion. Better something than nothing etc.

Yea it might be the conscience thing too.....its good to have one I suppose!

Hellybelly84 · 22/12/2022 18:42

WilsonMilson · 22/12/2022 16:32

Fucking hell, are people still doing this shit?

Not that ive seen in real life…🤷🏼‍♀️

thing47 · 22/12/2022 18:50

@WestwardHo1 Negative tests are somewhat flawed, you can still have Covid even if you test negative. I guess it may give a degree of peace of mind if you test negative and then develop it later as you can justifiably say you didn't know. None of us can be held responsible for acting on inaccurate information.

Positive tests are not flawed. So if you test positive, you have Covid. In this instance, presumably OP's parents would say they can't come if they have Covid. Given that it's their house, it's their decision. OP deciding not to test and not to go at all is also their decision and, I guess, reasonable, if a little childish.

carefulcalculator · 22/12/2022 19:06

I'm testing before seeing some vulnerable relatives, I don't think it's a big deal to do it.

Tippletoomany · 22/12/2022 19:14

I think it’s a basic gesture to show people you care. We are all doing covid tests before christmas, I know it’s no longer as bad as it once was and we are all vaccinated but there is a 2 month old baby this year and to be honest none of us can be bothered with being poorly.

If they want you to do one, just do one. It takes hardly any effort and surely it would sit better on your conscience. I can’t believe how much of a fuss people make.

Delatron · 22/12/2022 19:25

I think the confusing thing going forward is the focus on Covid when there are far worse illnesses around now. Where does it end?

We’ve gone back to staying in if we feel
unwell and out and about if we are well. My parents would never ask us to test for Covid as they have an accurate perception of risk (and would prefer just to crack on with life and seeing everyone).

If I had particular nervous relatives and they requested the test I’d do it but I’d probably just not go even if it was negative. As you’d get blamed for every slight sniffle they pick up. It’s fine to live like that if it’s your choice but you also need to accept there are drawbacks.

FlounderingFruitcake · 22/12/2022 20:16

JohnPrescottsPyjamas · 22/12/2022 16:10

I think some posters need to read Hancock’s The Pandemic Diaries. Then you’ll realise just how much nonsense we were told about covid and mitigation methods - from the horse’s mouth! How much political posturing went on regarding masks, tests, vaccines and infection control - all from the man himself. Just how many other sufferers of potentially fatal illnesses were sacrificed on the altar of the ‘Covid NHS’ and how so many are now paralysed by irrational fear of one specific virus, when there are actually many others we need to be just as, if not more, aware of.

As others have said. Don’t go. If their fear, anxiety and vulnerability is so high, having children who can be carriers of all sorts of bugs will not help. The tests might be negative but you could still be carrying Strep A, norovirus, flu or even a cold. It’s their health and well being, so their choice, but they shouldn’t be expecting others to test if they don’t want to. Hospitals aren’t even asking visitors to test are they?

Absolutely this!

Lenald · 22/12/2022 20:19

I wouldn’t make my kids do this tbh. One is ASD and the sensory issues around this really distresses him, the others are to young.

How does he or they go to the shops or any where? Do they get on with their day to day life normally? If so it’s bizarre to ask for a test.

roarfeckingroarr · 22/12/2022 20:31

It would annoy me too. I would take a test but not make the kids do it.

twelly · 22/12/2022 20:35

If they insist an do one themselves I'd go along with it but otherwise not.
I think the whole paranoia over covid has just scared sections of the population and has had huge psychological damage not to mention its impact on relationships.

alltheevennumbers · 22/12/2022 22:06

WestwardHo1 · 22/12/2022 17:36

Rates of infection are not "sky high".

Zoe estimates 3 million cases in UK today. That's pretty high.

ILoveeCakes · 22/12/2022 22:13

You decide. Either comply or tell the covid hysterics to shove it.

Hellybelly84 · 22/12/2022 22:46

JustLyra · 22/12/2022 17:02

It is frightening what 2 years of scaremongering and false facts have done to some people.

Its frightening how far people have gone the other way and now happily inflict coughs, colds and flu on other people all in tbt mindset of “it’s not covid, and we need to get back to normal”

it’s actually less safe now for people like my DD (and the elderly) because so many people give less fucks than they ever have.

Does the whole world have to change for you? The vast majority of people live a normal pre-pandemic life now. It’s very unfortunate some people have health conditions, but the whole world cannot change for you. It is your responsibility to decide what situations you put yourself in (go to shops, restaurants, nights out, family gatherings in the winter when bugs are everywhere etc). Why are people selfish for living a normal life?

allboysherebutme · 22/12/2022 22:47

I would definitely not be upset, it takes a few minutes and would stop your parents getting sick or worse if you had no symptoms. So no I don't blame them. X

Remmy123 · 22/12/2022 22:52

I think it's odd eso as there is the most horrific flu going round much than bloody covid!

TodayIsFridayHooray · 22/12/2022 22:59

How old are your parents OP?

My mum, in her 70s, sadly died last year. Not from COVID. However, she had been very anxious about COVID, and whenever I saw her I took a test. I got my eldest child to take a test too, and if my youngest wasn't able, I explained to mum that none of us had symptoms, that DH, myself and eldest all had negative tests, and asked if that was ok and if she felt safe with youngest coming with us to see her.

It's not a big deal to do a test before seeing an elderly parent. If you mums in her 40s and has no underlying health conditions, then maybe she's a bit too anxious (and you might want to support her to think about why and how to help) - but otherwise, I can understand it and personally I don't see what the big issue is in you reassuring her and doing your best to put your parents at their ease.

Neighboursnumber1fan · 22/12/2022 23:00

My husbands family refused to see us for ages (even when we were testing) as we were the only ones with kids and they were most likely to get it and pass it on (according to them!) MIL and SIL both caught it from adult friends (different people) who they thought were ‘clean’ as they didn’t mix with children. Husband and the kids caught it a few months after them and I was in the same house as them and never caught it (I didn’t isolate from them as that wasn’t required at the time where we live)

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