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Related: Lockdown Learning, discuss home schooling during lockdown.

Are CEV people still shielding/isolating/limiting social interactions?

48 replies

ApolloandDaphne · 07/09/2022 13:50

I am trying to get a feel for where CEV people are at with Covid, particularly the immunocompromised. I have a good friend who is CEV and she still won't go into shops etc but she will meet for food in outdoor spaces. She won't have people in her house.

Me and two other friends would like to meet up with her, possibly in her house. We would all take LFT tests first and keep our distance as much as possible but she doesn't seem happy with this. I totally understand it is her choice but I also know that after two and a half years with little socialising she is getting low and demoralised.

I just want to know at this point what mitigations might seem the right level to help her move on a bit and live a little but I have no frame of reference for what other are doing. Can you help?

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DorisJoy · 07/09/2022 13:58

Im CEV and immune compromised and pretty much back to normal. I’m using buses/trains (albeit try and avoid rush hour, school run) use the gym early am, shopping and have been abroad. I do try and avoid very busy times and very crowded indoor places. Fully vaxxed and haven’t had covid. It’s a tricky balancing act but we aren’t just at risk of covid, any infection could cause problems so I’m just assessing risk and getting on with it. If numbers start to rise again I will be more careful.

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PolkaDotMankini · 07/09/2022 13:59

I'm not. I've resumed normal life: work, travel, days out, having people over, visiting family. I have an immuno-deficiency.

I've had covid twice and am still here.

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Carrieonmywaywardsun · 07/09/2022 14:00

DD and I are CEV and unvaccinated. We do reg. LFTs and ask visitors/people we visit to test too. Outdoor gatherings where possible. One friend of DDs isolates for 3 days and then LFTs before visiting

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ApolloandDaphne · 07/09/2022 14:02

Thank you.

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Itsnotoverforus · 07/09/2022 14:04

DH is CEV.
Even I don’t socialise unless with a couple of close friends and I only see them outside, I don’t go into shops often and definitely not without a mask.
DH has no antibodies despite being fully vaccinated.

There was a radio 2 programme on on Monday -medical Monday segment I think, and one guy is living in his shed to isolate from family who have been on holiday. There are some people who are unlikely to have a good outcome when having covid, despite the vaccines. It’s not over for a lot of people.

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ClumpingBambooIsALie · 07/09/2022 14:05

DP and I both CEV. Both wear FFP2 or better in indoor spaces, but do go to the supermarket, to meet up with friends for a coffee, to appointments we might have previously avoided (face-to-face counselling, routine eye tests and such). Neither of us works, so overall our exposure is still pretty low.

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InTheFreezer · 07/09/2022 14:06

I'm immunocompramised with my lymphocytes sitting at 0.2 currently. I was / am CEV. I was shielding and taking it all very seriously with washing the shopping and putting the post in quarantine etc.

Best thing that ever happened to me was getting Covid early on (2020 - from a family member, who got it from a police officer !).

Haven't given a shit since. Been festivals, Theater, cinema, restaurants and on several holidays.

However, I do remember how scared I felt for the first few month. I didn't even open the windows ffs. I can totally understand how someone has got this way.

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ClumpingBambooIsALie · 07/09/2022 14:11

I think when there are two of you who are both CEV, it's harder to dial back the precautions — each of us is at least as concerned about not infecting the other one as with not infecting ourselves. With both of us out and about, that's nearly double the exposure between us compared to one of us alone, since if either one of us catches it, it's likely we'd both get it (tiny house, shared bed/bath/sofa/loo/kitchen). So we revert to the level of risk that the more cautious person is happy with (that's him). And of course if we both got it at the same time and were both very ill, that would be organisationally very difficult.

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verdantverdure · 07/09/2022 14:35

ApolloandDaphne · 07/09/2022 13:50

I am trying to get a feel for where CEV people are at with Covid, particularly the immunocompromised. I have a good friend who is CEV and she still won't go into shops etc but she will meet for food in outdoor spaces. She won't have people in her house.

Me and two other friends would like to meet up with her, possibly in her house. We would all take LFT tests first and keep our distance as much as possible but she doesn't seem happy with this. I totally understand it is her choice but I also know that after two and a half years with little socialising she is getting low and demoralised.

I just want to know at this point what mitigations might seem the right level to help her move on a bit and live a little but I have no frame of reference for what other are doing. Can you help?

Why not meet her outside if she is ok with that?

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ApolloandDaphne · 07/09/2022 14:36

@verdantverdure We have over the summer but she does not want to meet outside in the winter as it is cold.

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WavePlant · 07/09/2022 14:39

Go with what she is comfortable with. Meeting inside and keeping your distance does sod all as it’s airborne and if one of you has it in a room in a house, you all will. Maybe suggest a cheap infrared heater to sit outside? Or maybe going to the theatre where she can where a full mask?
Before covid people with cancer and other conditions had to live this way so if she needs to then she needs to. Great that other people have survived covid, people have died or trying to protect health etc and it’s still ok if she’s doing that. Forcing people into her home/her safe space won’t go well if she doesn’t want that.

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RiftGibbon · 07/09/2022 14:43

Yes, one of my friends is. They suffer with anxiety, bpd, bipolar, as well as other MH issues on top of physical problems. Recently, they had a major health scare and had to go to hospital (something they struggle with at the best of times), where they got very concerned as nobody was wearing a mask. It didn't help that they were basically belittled for raising this concern.

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Inclinedtochatter · 07/09/2022 14:44

I'm CEV and still avoid busy places. I get my supermarket shopping delivered and don't really go out other than to work - we still wear masks at work (opticians) and still sanitise everything. Covid has increased my anxiety and made me agoraphobic. Life is very small for me at the moment.

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ApolloandDaphne · 07/09/2022 14:45

We would never force her to have us in her house. I just had no idea what other people were doing and I know she is very unhappy never seeing people. She would never go to a theatre or anywhere with a lot of people around. This has been helpful to get a range of views.

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Catch21 · 07/09/2022 14:48

My dad is CEV, he was being super cautious until he caught covid a few months ago and was fine. He's more relaxed now.

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Mxyzptlk · 07/09/2022 14:48

Tell your friend that you don't want to abandon her during the colder weather.
Don't try to insist on your preferred solution of meeting in her house, tho, whatever anyone else is doing.
Ask her if she can think of ways you can meet e.g. sitting at a café or pub outside table (maybe there's somewhere with heaters?) or going for a walk - even just strolling warms you up.

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Xiaoxiong · 07/09/2022 14:49

So basically, she is proposing to just not see anyone for many months over the winter?

I do feel for her, I would think that would have its own very negative consequences. And you're a good friend to try and continue to help her.

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queenofthewild · 07/09/2022 14:54

DH is CEV. We've had a relatively normal summer out and about as a family, although he is still working from home as it suits him better and his company is much more flexible since enforced home working.

As the weather gets colder I expect him to be more cautious again until he gets his next booster, and then for a couple of weeks after the booster.

Thankfully he's never had covid, and in fact has been so much healthier since avoiding germy people on the daily commute.

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verdantverdure · 07/09/2022 14:59

ApolloandDaphne · 07/09/2022 14:36

@verdantverdure We have over the summer but she does not want to meet outside in the winter as it is cold.

Well that's fair enough, isn't it. Maybe do a walk and talk round a beauty spot? It must be very hard for CEV people to live in this world. My friend LFTs before she sees her parents but she's just unknowingly given it to them this weekend. Have you thought about how you'd feel if you're the ones who infect her?

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WhizzFizz · 07/09/2022 15:30

Im CEV and immune compromised I had covid a year ago after two vaccines and was very ill and hospitalised. Since then I've had 3 more vaccines.

I am back to normal now. DH currently has covid, first time and he's 72. So I'm expecting to get it again🙄. I don't believe I will be as ill again because it was Delta in 2021 and Omicron seems less dangerous. Even if I do end up in hospital again I can't live forever in a bubble.

I think there are a very few people such as transplant patients who may have to shield long term but most of those originally classed as CEV are at less risk of death than it was once thought.

I do LFT when meeting elderly relatives.

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Mxyzptlk · 07/09/2022 15:35

How about a wine evening with your friend on Skype / Zoom, when the weather's bad?

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Cookerhood · 07/09/2022 15:51

DH is CEV & has no antibodies to Covid. We are back to normal - he had it earlier in the year & was fine.

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hopeishere · 07/09/2022 15:56

DH is CEV (stem cell transplant). We are going about life as normal. He has had covid and was fine.

It has really messed with some people heads. I have two colleagues. Both of them have mild to moderate asthma and are absolutely terrified of getting covid.

Neither of them have had it, one of them wont to come into the office unless they absolutely have to and wears a mask at all times.

I was with the other one and we were walking and ended up bunched up in a big group of people and she was reaching into her pocket to get a mask she was obviously scared of being in a crowd for 10 seconds.

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PeloFondo · 07/09/2022 16:00

I'll meet people outside; and inside my home if they test beforehand. CEV and neutropenic

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Hambledy · 07/09/2022 16:06

Really it doesn't matter what other people do, does it? There are no rules. She's your friend so you need to navigate this with her on a situation by situation basis taking your own comfort into account when necessary/appropriate.

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