Are CEV people still shielding/isolating/limiting social interactions?

[ApolloandDaphne]

I am trying to get a feel for where CEV people are at with Covid, particularly the immunocompromised. I have a good friend who is CEV and she still won't go into shops etc but she will meet for food in outdoor spaces. She won't have people in her house.

Me and two other friends would like to meet up with her, possibly in her house. We would all take LFT tests first and keep our distance as much as possible but she doesn't seem happy with this. I totally understand it is her choice but I also know that after two and a half years with little socialising she is getting low and demoralised.

I just want to know at this point what mitigations might seem the right level to help her move on a bit and live a little but I have no frame of reference for what other are doing. Can you help?

We do this on a regular basis. Me and the other two also meet, go out, go on holiday etc but we are aware our CEV friend is being left out even though she insists we go ahead without her.

I completely agree we have to do what she feels comfortable with, I just wanted to gauge what others were doing. It is a real mix it seems.

I’m CEV, I’m young though. I was hospitalised when I caught covid in jan 22, but since I recovered I’ve been out and about like normal now.

however, I would say you should respect your friends wishes. It doesn’t matter what other people on the internet are doing. If she’s not comfortable then she’s not comfortable

My DP is CEV and still shielding, fully vaccinated but no antibodies due to the drugs he is taking for his (very serious) condition.

I have to self isolate for a week before I can spend time with him and then we don’t leave the house whilst we are together. He’s lost interest in engaging with the outside world unless it’s essential and is super cautious, every thing is bleached if there’s any chance of someone having touched it.

I am hoping that Evusheld will eventually be made available and may change things. However I can’t see a way out for him now.

I’m CEV on immunosuppressants. Got Covid before lockdown one and it was bad, then had long covid for about 1.5 years. I have been so careful but DH is patient facing in the NHS and have three young kids. I was testing regularly, weighing up social interactions, wearing a mask in shops / on buses etc. I have had 5 vaccines. My kids had omicron at Christmas and I didn’t catch it. DH has also had a second bout of covid which I didn’t get.
A fortnight ago I decided enough was enough after I realised a lot of people assume mask = positive, and stopped wearing my mask in most places. Also went on a long train journey to a busy family wedding.
Had a wonderful time, then got home and the texts started coming in from fellow guests who had felt I’ll after the wedding and subsequently tested positive. I started feeling drained and a bit coldy, so I tested: blazing positive.
Registered my lft and got a call back from NHS re antivirals. Paxlovid was then couriered to my door. Took the 5 day course and feel SO much better after a rough few days. Now negative.
The experience has made me less uptight about everything: can’t put my life on hold anymore.
I’ll continue to be careful and will exercise my own judgment, but plan to really work on the health anxiety that resulted from the terror of the initial shielding letters.

What's the problem with people assuming mask = positive? I mean, I'm sure there are other reasons you stopped wearing it too, I'm just curious why realising that people were making that assumption would make you want to stop.

@ClumpingBambooIsALie Sorry I realised I worded that very badly! No problem with people assuming that at all, probably very sensible! However, in my part of London I was often the only person I would see wearing a mask anywhere and ultimately masks are mainly to protect others rather than oneself. I was approached a couple of times by people asking: “Why are you out if you’ve got Covid?” and I got fed up of explaining that I didn’t, then having the “you know that thing won’t do you any good” lecture. Ultimately that’s probably not what led me to stop wearing one as much- it was more the realisation that I was the only one bothering. I spent 4 hours in a&e with my toddler and was the only one in a mask apart from the staff. I think I will probably now go back to wearing one on public transport etc now that I’m out of isolation. Ultimately though, I know it’s most likely nothing to do with my mask wearing or lack of it that I caught it: I caught it at the wedding. Several other guests with household contacts who were positive beforehand. Those people didn’t attend, but their family members did as they’d LFTd negative- then positive the next day and lots of us went down afterwards. Just one of those things.

Ah thanks for the explanation — I can see how it would get annoying having to explain constantly. I don't think you worded it badly, it's just that my social context is different to yours, and I haven't had anyone say that to me so it's not something I've thought about. I wear an FFP2 which offers me some protection too, and if it means people give me a wider berth cause they think I've got the lurgy then all good

My colleague is CEV and is teaching 30 infants. I'd imagine many CEV people couldn't afford to give up their careers.

@ClumpingBambooIsALie Good move
and yes, having people move away is a bonus! I think I probably need to upgrade to FFP2 when I start venturing onto the buses / tubes etc in winter!

FFP2 masks give the wearer 95% protection if worn correctly so they're a good choice if you're trying to avoid getting Covid.

I'm CEV, just finished 2 x Chemo, Radiotherapy and Brachytherapy, I caught Covid during Radiotherapy and had to self isolate in a room at the Beatson for 10 days, I had to go down last for Radiotherapy every day to allow a deep clean once I'd been in.
I finished treatment early August and am still wearing a mask every time I'm out (not very often though) and trying not to meet too many people apart from family. I would hate to get Covid again as I was so unwell.

What about looking for one of the pubs that built outdoor Shelters with heating during the time they could only open up outside ? Places that had the marquees seem to have taken them down but a few places still have the wooden shelters (similar to the smoking shelters ).

It's not just Covid though, is it? When I first started on immune-suppressants my consultant warned me about all sorts of stuff I should try to avoid.

It will surely just depend on the person

It's hard and you have to balance it. I'm immunocompromised and will be for life. If it was months or a couple of years then probably would be slightly different about it
I mean technically I should avoid bags of salad, uncooked fruit and veg etc etc etc but I want to live, but also not make myself sick
Consultant agreed given I've eaten all this stuff for years to carry on but compromise

I didn't care particularly if I got it. Despite being Classed as CEV. Caught it pre vaccine and was fine. So I've not cared since. I've been a close contact several times and not caught it again.

I carriers on working full time as a nurse and refused to shield.

@PeloFondo Absolutely. I’ve been on my immunosuppressant meds since I was a teenager, so nearly 30 years. Everything is a balance. I have periods where I get every infection going, and then others where I’m pretty well for long stretches.
I have 3DC so there’s essentially been a baby or toddler in the house constantly for 9 years and they’ve brought home all sorts. I try to be sensible but I’ve got to live, as I will likely never come off the meds. The whole pandemic really shook me and made me afraid to exercise my own judgment in a way- so I’m now trying to get back to my old self and see each risk for what it is, rather than panicking every time one of the kids gets a temperature.

I’m CEV and currently have covid for the first time. It has not been fun. I’ve had IV anti virals and I think I’m over the worst but it has been a rough ride this last week. I’ve had 4 jabs but it seems I’ve still had it worse than friends when they’ve had it.

Saying that, I was back to normal. I have a toddler. I’m a teacher. I can’t live in the house. I did what I was told with shielding but that’s no way to (personally) live my life.

Covid has not been fun but equally I’ve had a wonderful summer with my little boy and I would still do everything the exact same.

A lot more replies. Thank you all. We have spoken with our friend and with no pressure at all placed on her she agrees that another winter with no socialising will be unbearable. We are going to meet in another friends house and all test before we get together. She can then go home when she feels she has had enough.

I have a friend who has a lung condition and she shielded. She was a careful, but got covid last September at an outdoor party. She has in hospital for a couple of days but recovered okay after a month or so. He lung function has reduced though as a result.

We are very careful around her, we go out, but on quieter days and we test before we see her. I think her friends are aware that she has a reduced life expectancy anyway and we don't want to reduce it further, but covid is here for ever and we also want her to have a good time.

It's a balance.

I am CEV, I carry on completely as normal. In my opinion, I would rather be dead than live the life of a shielder as it would be no life at all for me. I have had a fabulous 2 years since it all kicked off, done loads and had loads of fun. What’s the point in getting to 90, doing nothing and seeing no one. It’s no life.

I’m not shielding anymore but I am still careful. I don’t respond to vaccines due to medication that auppresses
my immune system . I’ve had it twice and both times it has left me with different permanent damage and long covid. One is damage to nerves which is extremely painful and the other to my lungs restricting my mobility. People who think living having “fun” for two - four years during the worst of the pandemic is more important than seeing their kids go to uni or get married then so be it, it’s probably an easy decision to make when you’re already of an age to be dodging coffins but I’m not old, my kids aren’t old and I’m
sure they’re rather have their mum
alive to give hugs than being exciting having fun and socialising and catching this virus then being either too disabled to do anything or dead.

I’m not convinced my body would cope with catching it again.

it’s also not just covid I have to protect
myself from. People don’t often realise that.

Hi your post was a while ago but a suggestion if your friend is still wishing to take precautions. COVID is airborne so good ventilation is key.

• she could purchase an HEPA filter for the room you will all be sitting in. These are great for anyone who has allergies or asthmatics too. But they will remove any virus from the air. You can buy them on Amazon.
• crack open windows so you have a through draft. You don’t need to open the windows by much.
• If not eating or drinking wear FFP2 masks.
• She could also invest in an Aranet4 CO2 monitor if she wants to go inside restaurants or bars etc. CO2 readings are a proxy for measuring ventilation. If the CO2 readings are lower than 800ppm the risk of breathing in virus are lower. Outside air is approx 500ppm.

I hope your friend has navigated through the winter safely so far.