It feels like the pandemic has ruined everything

[Triing]

It ruined friendships, driving people apart. It ruined this website with some of the terrible things that people wrote deliberately to upset others. The community in the place where I live has been torn asunder. Backbiting, sanctimoniousness, judgmentalism. People with 2.4 children and big gardens both ignoring and patronising those in different situations. British politics is ruined, awful untrustworthy governments, the economy is ruined and it just feels the world is going to hell in a handcart. I know there are bright spots too, but it really feels like a public reckoning and healing of all that has been said and done that is wrong is necessary, but no-one wants to do it, just carry on, pretend it never happened then use the war in Ukraine as a way to try to shut people up (you'd have something to complain about if you were in Mariupol etc, the 2022 software update of WW2, Blitz etc)

This is not my post, but the poster does say if you had to. Not everybody had options, for sure. But the OP says the world is going to hell in a handcart and everything is ruined. I have sympathy with the OP feeling that their community is less good, but everything is not ruined for everybody.

I don't think that is a very well thought out comment.

Those of us working on the frontline weren't 'letting it' be difficult. It was difficult, it was traumatic we weren't jollying around making memories in the garden.

My life and my mental health is forever changed by the last couple of years.

Sorry for not being resilient enough or inhuman enough to let it have an impact on me.

Sorry that 2 years later we are staring down the barrel of a perfect storm of exhausted frontline staff, a shortage of new entrants for various reasons and a HUGE backlog of problems that are only just starting to come out of the woodwork.

What job did you do during the pandemic?

From your first post.
"sanctimoniousness, judgmentalism."

From your last post.
"This message by Elena St is vile."

Jesus!

Yes, people are too quick to exaggerate about how awful others are.

Look for the good - think about what you can do to make things better - it’s not always easy - you can’t control other people or situations but you can control your behaviour - and how you interact with your community.

On an individual level, it impacted us very badly. But the OP is talking about 'the culture' which is a slightly different question.

I mostly agree with Winter.

Years of Tory austerity have been doing their damage, Brexit was and is a spectacular own goal, and Covid has been the shit cherry on the shit cake. It has killed off whatever joy and optimism we had left. There were some silver linings, to do with communities supporting each other, but I feel they have mostly disappeared now and I am mostly left with memories of selfish, selfish people emptying supermarket shelves and filling up tanks and cans of petrol that they didn't even need.

We are trying to pick up the pieces but it's a slog and it feels as if nothing will be the same again.

I think the Tories and Brexiteers will blame covid for the shitshow that is our cost of living crisis, but it's a crisis of their own making, in the main. Covid showed that they do have a "magic money tree", they just mostly choose not to spend it, and it's ideological.

People will continue to vote for them though.

I’ve lost family members and my income has shrunk from 50k to 13k. Please don’t imply I could fix this with good attitude. I can’t. Nor could you. I’m glad you’ve been lucky enough to weather the issues well, but you’ve been just that. Lucky to be able to come through with only minor problems. Not everyone has.

Nope I don’t agree.

I think lots of people lost things like businesses, family, and maybe their health and that is terrible but not easily healed. But a lot of what you mention is not due to covid, it was there before covid but brought in to the light through covid. Politics has been toxic for a long time and politicians called liars. I can’t be surprised that they have fallen below the bar. Friendships sometimes end when you learn more about a persons character. People made decisions good or bad and others have judged - that’s not new though?

Many things are worse for my dc than they were for me, and that's before we factor in Russia launching a hostile, brutal attack on a democratic neighbour.

Brexit made their world smaller. Covid made it even smaller and rather claustrophobic. The cost of living, climate change, housing inflation... those are the big, scary things. But many smaller changes make me worry for them... widespread sexual harrassment including recording devices in schools, the rise in spikings on their nights out, the way technology has sometimes been weaponised against their health and mental well-being.

But there's also a lot of positive developments - the move away from fossil fuels and the widespread acceptance of climate science, the optimism of Black Lives Matter, the courage of Allison Bailey and Maya Forstater for women's rights. This is a time of great change, and hard to navigate. I think there's reason to hope for improvement though.

It was tedious at times and unpleasant during the ill-with-covid bits. But it didn’t affect me and mine all that much. We didn’t allow ourselves to get too fearful, for the sake of the kids.

In certain respects, the pandemic brought real improvements for us. My partner’s career has taken off, for starters. We also had a valuable chance to re-evaluate our lifestyles and make some big changes. It was a case of carpe diem.

So much of what you have listed is beyond your control. One of the most important things we can do is to learn what we have influence over and forget the rest.

“The chief task in life is simply this: to identify and separate matters so that I can say clearly to myself which are externals not under my control, and which have to do with the choices I actually control. Where then do I look for good and evil? Not to uncontrollable externals, but within myself to the choices that are my own…” — Epictetus, Discourses, 2.5.4–5

Let’s stop exaggerating for a second…you are not weeping when thinking about the damage done by politicians

Calling someone vile just because they have a different opinion on you is, frankly, more vile than the comment itself.

PP doesn’t say that all people could avoid this through positive thinking, just that she has been able to.

To be honest I actually said to my family that COVID had been a positive experience for us. We didn’t lose anyone, we can now work from home, my husband got a promotion, we are key workers and had opportunity to do overtime at triple pay for many months.

I really feel for those who have lost businesses, family members, life has been absolutely awful for some people. But just because it hasn’t been awful for everyone doesn’t mean you (OP) should be hyper critical and borderline nasty to those who haven’t had the same impact.

I think that PP comment was taken out of context too…I definitely read where it says ‘if you let it OR HAD TO’ the or had to is in reference to some people being forced to stop working etc. So it isn’t dismissive of the difficulties some face.

It had been screwed for years, people were just happy to ignore. Covid has accelerated the downfall and opened more people's eyes.

In regards to this site OP, there will always be people with different outlooks and points of view. You need to stop being so sensitive.

Maya Angelou’s quote ‘when someone shows you who they are, believe them’ rings very true with the pandemic. It brought out the true colours of many.

What bothers me most now is how life appears to be normal again and yet I have friends and colleagues who have been ill every other month with Covid or other ailments (long Covid?) It seems everywhere you turn someone’s coughing, sneezing or generally looking run down. I worry it’s not over at all and the madness is just waiting to start over again.

No, I don't feel like the pandemic has ruined everything OP. It wasn't the best experience and it wasn't the worst experience, it was just life.

It has however opened my eyes to how many people are complete knob jockeys and this knobbishness appears to span across all countries, races and politics as far as I can see 😅

Many people have had tragic loses, suffered long term side effects, lost their jobs & their businesses & families have broken up - thank you covid.
Mental health issues have increased & children's education & development have suffered. The NHS has been stretched to breaking point & patients treatment for non covid conditions has suffered.
et al...
But, we had a family conversation this weekend & as one member of our extended family said, its really taught them to appreciate family & relationships & not to take them for granted. We were all together as a family in park & watching so many others enjoy the day with their loved ones was lovely. I know many people have & continue to suffer because of covid & its health, personal, social & economic side effects but this is one positive.

I think the problem is that for many covid was the icing on the cake on top of a total shitshow of other factors. In many ways for the gvt it has hid some of the total chaos they have created for many individuals and businesses with with Brexit - they have very conveniently been able to blame a lot of things as covid related. We've been in Denmark for all but the first 5 months of covid and it was very easy to see the difference. Yes -masks , tests, restricted hours, lockdowns- but very few shortages or problems with staffing or unable to get medical supplies/drugs or an ambulance etc-- probably because they hadn't suddenly lost a great many essential workers back to their home countries or other countries. Government have been feeding people bullshit- a lot of issues are not covid related but actually Brexit related!

I am not the same person I was before Covid

No more, no less

Brexit and the politicians and political theory behind it have done far more damage to the UK than the pandemic.

You're making assumptions here. How do you know OP isn't speaking from direct observation of people she knows, given that she speaks about her own community?

@AnotherEmma
This statement is nuts

Covid showed that they do have a "magic money tree", they just mostly choose not to spend it, and it's ideological.

Do
You
Know how much was spent on furlough ????? Do You???

Money tree know depleted and we have to all weather the storm.

Hard Times are cyclical always were always will Be.

It was a crap time and we all missed out on things ,but life has been pretty much back to normal since July last year for most of us
.

It’s the Conservative government, their toxic toxic politics! It’s driven the country apart. To the extent people now just think in this selfish and divisive way. Not everyone!! But those who try to encourage community, bring people together (paid or unpaid) are often labelled as busy bodies, nothing better to do etc.

We need to start at grass roots (cliched I know). We need to grow a sense of community amongst our neighbours. We need to find a voice. Too much individualism. The pandemic was an amazing tool for Conservative ideology.

I’ve never trusted any politicians. Covid hasn’t changed that.