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Original poster

Are you sitting outside when meeting friends?

155 replies

ParrotsAteThemAll · 15/02/2022 18:55

If a friend was coming to your house for a coffee and chat but announced on arrival they would only sit outside how would you feel? They are not CEV, double vax and awaiting booster, person the are visiting is triple vaxxed and negative LFT. They are not isolating, still working, shopping and fit and well.

This is in the UK.

OP posts:
EmmaH2022 · 15/02/2022 21:28

@Flaxmeadow

If my friend had really bad anxiety about it then yes I would do it for them, especially if the infection numbers are high.

It doesn't bother me much to sit outside anyway, even in winter, as long as I was wrapped up.

I thought about this

I am in a flat and it would mean meeting in a park, with all the ick of using the park loo if open...so I just avoided the question, I think she got the hint.

OP it was incredibly rude of her not to say in advance.

housemdwaswrong · 15/02/2022 21:31

Mad. If they had a genuine reason that's different. Working is different too...I'm working, but not socialising, but I wouldn't expect people to sit outside in winter to accommodate my health needs.

EmmaH2022 · 15/02/2022 21:33

@Goldendaffodils

I’d be fine with it tbh. A brew in the garden really isn’t that big a deal to me. I have a friend with a CEV husband and she goes to great lengths to protect him - has done for two years, and I have the utmost respect for her. And no, she doesn’t exactly love sitting in the p*ssing February rain either!

So much privilege on this thread. No wonder disabled people and those dealing with mental health issues feel marginalised… Hmm

It's not privilege, it's a different approach

I have two CEV family members who just ignored it all

Another not vulnerable family member who still won't go to the pub etc

One CEV colleague who went back to the office as soon as possible as otherwise she's stuck in her bedroom all day

I think I narrowly missed getting a letter, was dreading it when the second batch came out, was that 2021?

Mum is 83 and lives as normally as law allows.

We're all entitled to choose our own approach but we have to realise that some people won't approve regardless.

OP friend should have been clear. Lucky OP didn't travel to meet.

Scornedwoman67 · 15/02/2022 21:42

@FinallySomeNormality

Not at all - back to doing all the usual stuff I did pre 2020! Other than sanitising hands and popping a mask on now and again to go in shops, it feels like normal. I'm not worried at all anymore...if I get it, I get it. Family have all had it except me and my eldest (including elderly grandparents and aunt).
Yep, me too! My parents are both CEV, mum triple jabbed, Dad x4 - and he was hospitalised with it in Dec 20. They have had enough now & want their lives back.
VikingOnTheFridge · 15/02/2022 21:55

No I'm not, and I'd expect anyone I'm meeting who does want to sit outside to mention it before we meet.

DoctorSnortles · 15/02/2022 21:59

I would, because they are a visitor and it's good manners to make your visitor feel comfortable. I have a warm, waterproof coat and it wouldn't be for long. I'm not made of sugar so no harm will come to me if it rains.

HesterShaw1 · 15/02/2022 22:04

Of course not.

There was one occasion on Christmas Eve when we popped round to a mate's house whose dad was visiting the next day. His dad has leukaemia so they were being very cautious.

However this was very much the exception.

Bramshott · 15/02/2022 22:08

Is your friend self employed? I find people are noticeably more cautious if they would be personally out of pocket if they caught Covid.

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 15/02/2022 22:27

But the basic idea of being outside is fine, and I think it should be respected

Of course I’d respect their choice just as I hope they’d respect my choice not to see them until the weather was warmer!

MuffinStrops · 15/02/2022 22:30

Well I have a friend who will only meet me outside. So she won't be seeing me again. She says she doesn't forsee a situation ever again where she will go indoors to a cafe or shop. I don't think we will stay friends, which is very sad.

Buzzinwithbez · 15/02/2022 22:36

No way. I have a friend who is still very cautious and I respect that so I might suggest meeting outdoors at the beach or park, or cafe with a sheltered outdoor area on a warmer day (and we have had some lovely days so far this year) but I wouldn't sit outside my own home unless the sun was beating down. That would be too wierd.

BoredtoTiers · 15/02/2022 22:40

I do meet some friends outdoors, but it's a semi-regular thing in a pub beer garden (with booths to keep the rain off, heaters & blankets available). We all wrap up warm and it's quite good fun. We're all open to indoor meet ups, but more likely to be at someone's house than a packed bar (at least as a regular thing).

Key thing is though, that's agreed in advance & we all still enjoy it. It'd be a bit weird to turn up to someone's house and not state your expectation to be outdoors in advance because it's bloody cold outside.

If it did happen, I'd probably be fine with it as a one off, but I'd be angling for clearer expectations for any future meet up because chances are we could find something more mutually acceptable than sitting out my back garden.

Original poster
ParrotsAteThemAll · 15/02/2022 22:43

It felt very rude not to discuss it prior and then get angry when I made alternative suggestions about where to sit. She definitely has a lot of anxiety over covid and has throughout which I feel she needs to deal with as it’s no way to live.

OP posts:
Whatdramain2022 · 15/02/2022 22:53

This is ridiculous. Even hospitals have abandoned any Covid protection. I had an accident. The paramedics left me in an airless waiting room crammed with about fifty people. I waited seven hours to see a doctor and caught Covid to add to the misery. Nobody bothers any more.

EmmaH2022 · 15/02/2022 22:56

It was very rude.

Maybe she'll apologise?

But I am not bothering with anyone like that. Life's hard enough. Plus if they catch it after meeting you, they'll blame you. Too stressful.

Mickarooni · 15/02/2022 22:57

@Goldendaffodils

I’d be fine with it tbh. A brew in the garden really isn’t that big a deal to me. I have a friend with a CEV husband and she goes to great lengths to protect him - has done for two years, and I have the utmost respect for her. And no, she doesn’t exactly love sitting in the p*ssing February rain either!

So much privilege on this thread. No wonder disabled people and those dealing with mental health issues feel marginalised… Hmm

As a disabled person, I’d feel marginalised being expected to sit in the freezing February weather without prior warning. My health is such that the cold would make me quite unwell. I’d be taken aback for this to be suggested at the very last minute.
Arcadia · 15/02/2022 22:58

I've just got home from a packed gig. Can't relate to this at all! Covid is over for me.

sleepwouldbenice · 16/02/2022 00:03

The main issue is the last minute nature

If they had mentioned earlier you could have arranged a walk or a coffee in a cafe with outdoor but covered tent thing or offered lateral flow testing to help ease anxiety. I do think a couple of friends of mine are still anxious

But as it was they gave you no leeway and that's wrong

VikingOnTheFridge · 16/02/2022 06:53

As a disabled person, I’d feel marginalised being expected to sit in the freezing February weather without prior warning. My health is such that the cold would make me quite unwell. I’d be taken aback for this to be suggested at the very last minute

I'm sure!

EmmaH2022 · 16/02/2022 10:04

@sleepwouldbenice

The main issue is the last minute nature

If they had mentioned earlier you could have arranged a walk or a coffee in a cafe with outdoor but covered tent thing or offered lateral flow testing to help ease anxiety. I do think a couple of friends of mine are still anxious

But as it was they gave you no leeway and that's wrong

OP said negative LFT in her OP.
BunsyGirl · 16/02/2022 10:11

@VikingOnTheFridge My mum was registered disabled due to less than 30 per cent lung function. There’s no way she would have been able to sit outside in the winter. And yes, a cold could have killed her. She was hospitalised on many occasions after picking up a cold/virus. So please think before posting.

Bordois · 16/02/2022 10:28

I dont think sitting outside in the cold and damp is the best idea in peak virus season. Even more so if you are particularly vulnerable to respiratory illness.

VikingOnTheFridge · 16/02/2022 10:50

Not sure you meant me there? I posted in support of a poster who couldn't sit outside in the cold due to disability, ie a similar position to your mother.

IVNO · 16/02/2022 10:54

I'm still only meeting outside. Zero antibodies. I have friends who will go for walks with me and some who will sit out. Some just on zoom.

I don't blame anyone for not wanting to meet outside and ask at short notice because it needs to be not raining, also people can pretend to be 'busy' if they don't fancy it.

I'm at as much risk now as 2020, omicron is not less severe for people who don't respond to vaccines. Antivirals are contraindicated for many conditions and drugs. There are about 500 000 in very high risk group.

I'm waiting until I can get hold of evusheld , a pre infection injection in place of the vaccine which lasts 6 months, being used in many other countries.
www.reuters.com/business/healthcare-pharmaceuticals/israel-offer-astrazenecas-evusheld-immunocompromised-people-2022-02-15/

thewhatsit · 16/02/2022 11:07

I probably would meet in the garden if they were already there but I guess I would try to subtly make clear that I was surprised by the request and I’d probably swerve meeting up with that person again any time soon and if they really pressed it I’d say that I’m really only up for meeting people with the possibility to sit inside and behave normally.