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School while not positive.

57 replies

TestZen · 01/02/2022 06:34

Hi. I'm sure this has been done before.

We all test ourselves on a Monday morning. My 5 year old was positive. Through the day it became clear her throat is hurting, temperature & she went downhill.

My son is 8 & school said he needs to be in. They are aware of myself being a single parent who doesn't drive. They said they will authorize the absence if I can't get him in, which is nice of them.

If I had any way to get him there I'd keep him home today & possibly tomorrow as well, testing each day, then send him on Thursday.

Will this be looked at as wrong though? By other parents? The parents who I speak to when I collect my youngest are absolutely against siblings attending school if another sibling is positive... It's all they talk about... 'So & so bought their kid in while the other one has covid, I told my kid to stay away from them', 'We took 2 extra tests last night & 2 before school, because of that sibling' etc.
Also scanning any photos put online to see if their child is sat next to a sibling & 'warning' other parents of 'the situation'.

I don't agree with any of that. Say nothing other than 'Its difficult because siblings are supposed to be in. They technically aren't doing anything wrong'.

Anyway, I'm waffling a bit but basically, if I can find a way to send my son to school on Thursday & Friday, would that be wrong? (I would only do it if each test before then is absolutely negative)
Or should I just write this week off for both of them because he could be spreading it?

OP posts:
Tiramysu · 01/02/2022 06:37

I'd do what the school says you can do and ignore the parents bad mouthing the others. Everyone is doing their best

Remmy123 · 01/02/2022 06:38

Not wrong at all!! Don't worry about t the other mums, not all siblings catch it from each other and you are testing regularly.

PotteringAlong · 01/02/2022 06:40

I was still teaching when my son tested positive…

My other children went to school.

Ignore the other parents.

RG2468 · 01/02/2022 06:42

Our school is in a very naice area and we are not fussed if a sibling has Covid cos it’s everywhere! We are helping those families with Covid get their kids to school. We’re doing what the government says and doing daily LFTs if someone is positive in the house etc your son is entitled to go school even as a close contact.

TestZen · 01/02/2022 06:42

Thank you... That is the way I'm leaning. He also burst into tears last night at the thought of having the whole week off.

The other parents aren't living my life are they.

OP posts:
TestZen · 01/02/2022 06:44

RG2468 That's nice to hear. I only have one mums phone number (not one of the ones I mentioned!) From my son's year, so I might ask her if there's any way she can help out on Thursday & Friday.

OP posts:
QforCucumber · 01/02/2022 06:45

First of all, don’t tell the other parents that she is positive - what they don’t know they can’t judge.
Secondly, as a pp - my youngest was positive last week, the number of parents offering to help by picking the eldest up to get him to school was amazing! Stay away from the judge ones and find ones who will help when you’re in need, those are the kind of people you need around you

TestZen · 01/02/2022 06:49

QforCucumber I think that the kids will tell them if I don't... One of them lives a few doors down so we often end up walking to or from school with them & her child will be saying about their latest test etc... I wish I could keep it a secret!

I'm gutted & annoyed with myself that I don't have any other 'nice' parents phone numbers!

OP posts:
musicalfrog · 01/02/2022 06:54

My 8yo was in the same boat and really upset at the thought of missing school. I tested him every day and he went in. He never did catch covid.

TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross · 01/02/2022 07:06

Also scanning any photos put online to see if their child is sat next to a sibling & 'warning' other parents of 'the situation'.

They sound absolutely unhinged.

RG2468 · 01/02/2022 07:11

It is really bad in primary schools at the moment and affecting staffing numbers etc so I get the ‘reaction’ and no one wants a poorly child! But honestly if we are not vaccinating our children then no child is avoiding Covid this term! You are entitled to send your son in today!!! If he tests negative take him to school.

Tiramysu · 01/02/2022 07:12

@TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross

Also scanning any photos put online to see if their child is sat next to a sibling & 'warning' other parents of 'the situation'.

They sound absolutely unhinged.

They sound very nasty and not very understanding
SavoyCabbage · 01/02/2022 07:16

They have too much time on their hands that’s for sure. Just do what is best for you OP.

SkankingMopoke · 01/02/2022 07:17

I took my neighbour's DCs in when she was positive, and she returned the favour when DH and I were simulateously struck down. In both our households, DCs remained negative throughout and were very glad to go in. She works at the school, so they are obviously fine with DCs coming in when there are positive cases in the house, and I am not prepared for my DCs to miss any more school unnecessarily. School don't give the option for authorised absence at all, but will try and help find a way to get them in. Ignore the moany parents, you won't be able to please everyone so I would be following what the school has requested in this. I bet there are a large number of parents happy to send siblings in, but if a few are loudly shaming others, they will keep quiet about their views.
In terms of getting the negative child there, do you drive? I had to do a couple of pick ups whilst positive as my neighbour was taking her DCs to after school clubs, and school were happy for me to drive into the grounds and wait (in the car) directly outside reception for them to send DCs out to me.

DSGR · 01/02/2022 07:18

Oh for goodness sake, this is none of their business and there is a good chance your son won’t catch it (this time anyway!). Or he may have already had it with no symptoms? Send him in and ignore the other parents.

AlexandraEiffel · 01/02/2022 07:22

It's not wrong in our school and parents help each other out getting siblings to school. I'd really suggest distancing yourself from the group of parents though as they'll be nasty about other stuff too and you really don't need that.

AlexandraEiffel · 01/02/2022 07:25

If they're ostracising other children, I'd also tell your school your concerns so they are aware and can be clear to all about policy, and watch out for any resultant bullying.

Abraxan · 01/02/2022 07:27

It's very much the norm to send children in when other members of the family have covid.

Lots of schools will authorise the absence if he stays home, some won't. We authorise the absence and provide remote learning.

Do what works for you.
You can ignore the other parents as you're following the rules. I guess part of their concern right now is how close it is to half term. However you are acting within government advice.

Obviously it'd be lovely if we can all avoid it, esp this close to a holiday, but it's one of those things we have to live with now.

Dammitthisisshit · 01/02/2022 07:54

Everyone on here will say that it’s ok as the feeling seems to be that Covid is over despite it still causing loads of issues.
As someone in chemo for blood cancer treatment it’s exactly that (people sending children to school when there was confirmed Covid in the household) that has caused me to keep my DC off school since before Christmas. This is under advice from my consultant so I’m not overreacting. Yes they’ve cried too about not seeing their friends. Yes it’s causing loads of stress on how to look after them. It’s also exactly a child going to school with known Covid in the household that has caused class to class transmission in one of my DC class - 20 of 28 pupils are currently off with Covid and a pregnant teacher has it from the same spread. Another parent of a child in that class who is vulnerable (and a single parent) is now in bed very sick with Covid after her daughter brought it home. Her daughter is with her mother (daughters granny) as she can’t look after him, her mother is also vulnerable. Another parent has had to take their vulnerable child out of school (again).
So I will go against the flow and say it’s selfish. Yes it’s legally allowed now. But that doesn’t make it right.

And to pre-empt the ‘you need to get on with your life’ I’d love to but that’s all dependent on if I have one after this chemo. And things aren’t rolled out enough yet. IMO we should be putting what we can in place before allowing Covid to rip through. So that means the following: vaccinations for CEV children (almost there - these are starting)
Vaccinations for children with CEV in household (should be February)
Antiviral availability and policy for all vulnerable (again starting - I’ve been told I’d be prioritised for treatment and some high risk are getting treatment but other vulnerable wouldn’t yet - ongoing study to see who would benefit the most - imo this should be completed and policy in place before we stop trying to control Covid)
Priority PCR scheme in place and working for all identified high risk vulnerable- this is a cluster - eg I don’t have one (escalated and my MP is involved)
So by March these things should be ironed out and in place, combining with a natural spring decline in cases. Until then no I don’t think you should be sending your son in whilst your daughter has Covid. I suspect you will though!

So perhaps the muttering from other parents is because they know people CEV? For us, or at least some of us, allowing Covid to rip through us causing a massive issue.

newchance2 · 01/02/2022 07:57

I wonder if these parents aware that teachers have to go to work even if they are from covid positive household. Would they be trying to distance their children from the teachers as well. What a load of nonsense. You child has all the rights to go to school

Dontforgetyourbrolly · 01/02/2022 07:58

Ignore other parents quite frankly they are not your problem.
Moving forward , would you keep the whole family home because one had flu? Because that's the way things will be when we will very soon be living with covid .

Dontforgetyourbrolly · 01/02/2022 07:59

And I call full house ! Rip through, CEV
Just waiting for murderer !

TestZen · 01/02/2022 08:01

Thanks everybody. I don't drive so I'm stuck anyway, I don't know what to do... I always hoped their dad would step up if this happened but I shouldn't of.

Abraxan It's not because of half term, they are always like this. I do distance myself from them, it's horrible, nasty behaviour.

Most of my son's class has had it in the last few weeks including his best friend.

Still negative today, I'm going to see what I can sort out.

OP posts:
Finallygotme · 01/02/2022 08:01

I didn't want to send my dd. I was basically hounded by the school to get her in, I said we all had it and she had a stuffy nose but as that isn't a symptom and she was negative she had to go in.

Was in Thurs and Friday, (tested) and then tested positive Saturday morning.

Class what's app reports that 10 kids have tested this morning,

CarrieBlue · 01/02/2022 08:02

Why aren’t you sending your DC in today and Wednesday? Why waiting to Thursday?