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Me and dh cannot agree over dcs vaccinations

81 replies

newstart22 · 03/01/2022 20:53

Where we live (Ireland) my children have become eligible for the covid vaccine. I want to get them vaccinated but my husband does not. The problem is he won't even talk about it. I have done my research and for me the risk of the vaccination is minimal equally I also know that the risk of covid in children is mild too but I know each parent has to make their own choices.
Im just wondering if there any parents who have been in the same boat and how do you work through it?

OP posts:
BewareTheLibrarians · 05/01/2022 21:52

You’ve never heard of long flu? It’s quite well known - you probably know it as post viral fatigue, & ME and chronic fatigue syndrome are all thought to be triggered by viral infections (in the majority of cases, although I think there can be other triggers). You hear of a lot of cases triggered by flu, as it’s one of the most common viral infections around. You allude to it in your previous post so I’m sure you’re aware of it.

As for the numbers, no, I’m clear on the point I made. If you choose not to think it’s important, no problem, we’ll agree to disagree there.

As for the rest of your post… Yes, there absolutely needs to be support for people who have complications after the vaccine. Like the example with your sister in law, though, there will be some who have some illness or weird symptoms after the vaccine, and attribute it to the vaccine, only to find out it was unconnected, as in your sister in law’s case with her contraception and long covid. (Also sympathy to her, glad she got it sorted out.)

Does this mean all people who report vaccine side effects should be ignored? Does it mean all people who report long covid should be ignored? Absolutely not. There needs to be space for both. From what I’ve seen, with my unwanted specialist knowledge, the numbers of cases of long covid lasting over 1 year in children are high, far more than there are cases of vaccine damage. The numbers of PIMS cases are higher than cases of vaccine damage in children. That’s what I’m basing my views on. I’ve seen first both hand so it really hits home.

That doesn’t mean you’re wrong to feel the way you do, you’ve just been exposed to different information. And I appreciate it’s frustrating when you don’t feel heard by the “other side”.

BewareTheLibrarians · 05/01/2022 21:54

Sorry that last post was for @CUniverse

SantaClawsServiette · 05/01/2022 22:03

OP, I think in your situation, given that the risk to children is very small, and they are likely to acquire natural immunity anyway, is I would just agree to wait for a time, say 6 months or a year, and then re-evaluate in light of what new information has been revealed about the vaccines and covid more generally.

Maybe with the caveat that if the work situation becomes untenable you will have to rethink.

BewareTheLibrarians · 05/01/2022 22:07

And sorry op, I know this sidetrack isn’t very useful for you! Dh and I were both happy for ds to have the vaccine due to his illness and to minimise any further infection. He didn’t have any side effects (we had them on the same day, I had to take to bed for the afternoon with the shivers and a lemsip while he was fine and thought I was a weakling!)

I hope you can talk it through with your dh with as little stress as possible. Flowers

BerthaBlythe · 05/01/2022 22:27

It’s not as simple a decision to give it to a child as it was to get it as an adult. We’re struggling with the decision too. When I was vaccinated my understanding was that I wouldn’t be able to transmit the virus but that hasn’t proved to be the case. It seems to come down to individual risk now.

With the numbers we have now and the state of the classrooms I have a feeling the decision could be taken out of my hands and dd might end up catching covid before her vaccine appointment comes through.

wildseas · 06/01/2022 07:42

I think in your position I would say to your husband that you would be willing For him to make the final decision provided that:

  • it is informed (eg he goes to the doctors with you with an open mind and talks through the pluses and negatives)
  • it is him who takes all of the negative consequences (eg misses holidays, time off work with sick child etc)
  • that it is discuss in agreement with your son by his dad calmly and coming to an agreed consensus (IMO 9 year olds are more than able to have an input although it should be a parental decision)
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