Me and dh cannot agree over dcs vaccinations

[newstart22]

Where we live (Ireland) my children have become eligible for the covid vaccine. I want to get them vaccinated but my husband does not. The problem is he won't even talk about it. I have done my research and for me the risk of the vaccination is minimal equally I also know that the risk of covid in children is mild too but I know each parent has to make their own choices.
Im just wondering if there any parents who have been in the same boat and how do you work through it?

@CUniverse

There are thousands of scientists/epidemiologist/virologists that don’t agree to give children mRNA vaccines are especially not for respiratory disease, so on that basis alone, I wouldn’t vaccinated my children with this type of vaccine.

Once it is in… that’s it. It’s completely not worth the risk, unless maybe you’re child is in the vulnerable category. This is not something they need. We can come out of this pandemic without children being vaccinated. The fact they are way less symptomatic is an indicator that they don’t need the vaccine.

Can you give a link of serious reputable epidemilogists/virologists who don't agree with to give children a mRNA vaccine?

www.nature.com/articles/nrd.2017.243#citeas

This article is from 2018, one or two years before Covid hit. It explains mRNA vaccines.

@Eloisedublin123

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

www.theatlantic.com/science/archive/2021/08/robert-malone-vaccine-inventor-vaccine-skeptic/619734/

[quote newstart22]@tilder that is my reason for wanting dc to be vaccinated. I can't work from home it's not possible in my job so I have to keep taking time off every time dc need to isolate. Equally we travel abroad frequently and I want to be able to travel with the children and whilst I know antigen tests are still a requirement and been vaccinated doesn't give you a free pass to travel freely it opens up more options. [/quote]
So make a deal with DH if DS has to be off school he takes time off work as he is the one who doesn't want him to be vaccinated. Same with any event or travel if DS has to stay behind so does DH.

Choices have consequences.

There is no compromise on this. You vaccinate or you don't. Compromise suggests there is a third solution, which there isn't. Several posters seem to want the op to respect her partners desire not to vaccinate. But where is the respect for her perspective and her desire to vaccinate?

Yes there are risks to a vaccine. My understanding is they are still much lower than the risks from covid. Including for children. If that wasn't the case, what would be the point of vaccination? It's not recommended for the fun of it.

If he chooses not to vaccinate, he gets to deal with the consequences. All of them.

^
Yes there are risks to a vaccine. My understanding is they are still much lower than the risks from covid. Including for children. If that wasn't the case, what would be the point of vaccination? It's not recommended for the fun of it.^

Its not recommended in the UK.........

@Ohsofedupwiththis

^ Yes there are risks to a vaccine. My understanding is they are still much lower than the risks from covid. Including for children. If that wasn't the case, what would be the point of vaccination? It's not recommended for the fun of it.^

Its not recommended in the UK.........

Lol. The U.K. voted for Brexit (!) so after that almighty cock-up, I don’t think anyone in an EU country should be seriously considering looking for guidance from the U.K. govt.

I’m in Ireland and DS (12) has been double vaxxed. Thankfully, DS was keen to have it and DH and I both agreed.

I think if DH wasn’t on board but hadn’t bothered to try to find out information about the vaccine, then I would have over-ruled him. Equally, if I offered an opinion based on fresh air and feelings, I’d hope he’d ignore me too.

I'm waiting for a few more years - we will not know if any true side effects/ issues etc until then.

Too many scientists are against it for my liking.

The U.K. voted for Brexit (!) so after that almighty cock-up, I don’t think anyone in an EU country should be seriously considering looking for guidance from the U.K. govt.

How is this relevant at all? Sometimes I do wonder about the humour of some people, or attempts at humour......

I hope its not the government in Ireland that is making these decisions. They know sweet f.a. just like the UK govt.

@Remmy123

I'm waiting for a few more years - we will not know if any true side effects/ issues etc until then.

Too many scientists are against it for my liking.

Please name a credible (i.e., who's views are backed by robust evidence and who has relevant expertise & research portfolio) who is against offering coronavirus vaccination to the general population?

We have given out billions of doses, side effects do not emerge over the long term for something like a vaccine.

@Ohsofedupwiththis

^ Yes there are risks to a vaccine. My understanding is they are still much lower than the risks from covid. Including for children. If that wasn't the case, what would be the point of vaccination? It's not recommended for the fun of it.^

Its not recommended in the UK.........

Currently recommended for 12+...last time I checked my 12 year old is a child.

Currently recommended for 12+...last time I checked my 12 year old is a child.

The OPs child is under 12 so I am not sure I understand your point.......

I think a lot of the recent messaging is moving away from the vaccination of the young and healthy (eg head JCVI saying we cannot continue to vaccinate everyone every 4-6 months).
We will have to wait and see but in the meantime my children aren't having the covid vaccination (unless there is compelling evidence of it having a large benefit to them).
Somehow they haven't (to my knowledge) had covid so far, but I am expecting they will probably get omicron (along with most other children vaccinated or not).

@ollyollyoxenfree I can sense the undertone of fear in your comment. I will send you a list of names. Do you honestly in your deepest soul believe what you say? One thing about vaccines is we can't ever truly know what damage they do long term, especially not with Mrna, but science has shown us time and time again that it can be wrong. Just like any drug, "one size fits all" should not apply to this vaccine. Yes, it does provide protection to some ppl on a short term basis, and I believe it is necessary for vulnerable and susceptible individuals however, on a large scale like this, adverse effects will emerge as they have been already. I just hope that it won't get ant worse for millions over time.

@Ohsofedupwiththis

The U.K. voted for Brexit (!) so after that almighty cock-up, I don’t think anyone in an EU country should be seriously considering looking for guidance from the U.K. govt.

How is this relevant at all? Sometimes I do wonder about the humour of some people, or attempts at humour......

I hope its not the government in Ireland that is making these decisions. They know sweet f.a. just like the UK govt.

It's recommended by the equivalent of the JCVI in Ireland. The same group that recommended fully vaccinating 12-15 year olds ahead of the JCVI changing their mind on that one and recommending double jabs. We do have our own experts here.

OP, I would talk to your child about it. My seven year old has said she wants to get it, and while the final decision was not going to be down to her, it's good for them to at least feel like they have a role here.

Then I'd talk to him again about it and make it clear that if he refuses to engage at all, he can't be part of the decision making process by his own choice.

Long covid is a risk I'm personally not willing to take with my child, and there are plenty of reputable medical professionals who are in favour of it. Plus five million children in the US who have had it, and no serious side effects have emerged.

So does that mean that you are happy to then get it every six months or so for DC?

I preferred my 12 year old to get it naturally.

I think if the vaccines worked for years it would have perhaps swung the other way

To me it’s like any vaccination. Years ago no polio, measures, mumps etc. Now more or less eradicated. But at one point they were new, imagine what would have happened if people had refused as they didn’t know long term effects (assuming that’s why he doesn’t want ds vaxxed).

Now your child is safe against those diseases.

As to you taking time off work, sorry if the child gets covid dh takes the time off to look after him

@FortunesFave

Just get them done. My husband has always been a bit anti-vax....tough! Both mine got fully vaxed as babies and now they're getting the COVID vax too. Don't tell him if he's going to be upset about it.

and there it is lol prime example of mumsnet bullshit! most stupid advice ever

@CUniverse There’s so much misinformation on your posts that it’s hard to know where to start. So I’ll go with you minimising covid in children. You talk about the “risk” of the vaccine while minimising the damage covid can do to even healthy children. It can leave previously healthy children with organ damage, neurological damage, inflammatory system problems. It’s not guaranteed to be “a bit of a cold” “my child’s healthy so they’re at no risk”. They’re not at high risk or even medium risk, but being in denial that there is some risk is daft given the evidence so far.

There are thousands of scientists who believe that letting children catch covid is a pretty bad idea.

Oh wow @BewareTheLibrarians, you guys love that buzzword, "misinformation". It is scary actually how so many are running with it. Children are more at risk of other respiratory illnesses than Covid. Of course nothing is without risk, just like these vaccines. They're a risk to some, and as far as kids go, no, in fact more experts say inoculating them is not worth the risk. Most diseases or illnesses will have long term side effects, in fact those you listed "organ damage, neurological damage, inflammatory system problems" are adverse effects that have also be reported for Flu, RSV - Bronchitis, Pneumonia... so let's not single out Covid like it's the Big Bad Wolf. Ppl even report those adverse effects after being vaccinated too. Go look for the testimonies. If you can't be bothered, let me have your email and I will send you real accounts from jabbed individuals who are now suffering from an array of issues... some similar to long covid symptoms uncannily enough.

I am all for vaccinations that are effective, for ppl who need to be protected, but at the same time they shouldn't cause a myriad of other ill effects or death, otherwise for whom is the risk worth? In the end it's solely for the individual.

“Children are more at risk of other respiratory illnesses than covid”

Are the current number of rsv, flu or pneumonia infections comparable to the number of covid infections in children now? Even if a virus affects a smaller percentage, if the number of infections roses, so does that percentage. So it’s unfortunately it isn’t a comparable situation.

Same for the complications after. Of course other viruses have post viral complications, but see the numbers argument above. If the numbers of children catching flu are lower, the rate of post viral complications will be lower. If the number of children catching covid is higher, there’s a higher potential number of illnesses and post viral complications. I wouldn’t have thought that any of that needed explaining.

And no, no one’s going to give you their email, that’s incredibly weird. But if you’re interested in testimonies, you can have ds’s!

He caught covid back in 2020, developed PIMS and has been left with organ damage and in pain. Not easy for a 12 year old. Unfortunately for the covid minimisers, he was young, fit, slim with no underlying conditions, so should have been completely “safe”.

What’s even harder is that unlike flu, rsv or pneumonia, covid is a novel virus so at first doctors didn’t know how to treat ds’s symptoms or what was happening to him. And, as it’s a novel virus, there isn’t much knowledge about how this will affect him in the future or if he’ll ever recover. Unlike flu, rsv and pneumonia which can all cause serious illness and or post viral complications, but the course of the illness is known, treatments are known. So again, it’s not a comparable situation.

There’s a lot made by certain types about not having the vaccine as the long term effects are not known. While being happy for their kids to catch a virus whose long term effects are also not known. It’s seem a bit hypocritical.

I mean, fair enough, don’t worry about covid if you don’t want to, but the reasons for worrying about the vaccine but not the virus don’t make much sense.

Sorry @BewareTheLibrarians, but all what you said in response to the respiratory illnesses and numbers is irrelevant and I am perplexed as to why you think you made point of any kind, because you didn't.

The only thing that needs to be comparable is that long term effects POST ANY ILLNESS IS NORMAL. Respiratory or not. Long Covid has a life of its own and has become a branch of propaganda almost. Over your lifetime you will hear of people you know having the flu, but when did you ever hear them talk about Long Flu? I've never encountered it. Long Covid shouldn't constitute reasoning behind vaccinating children when some experts are against it.

And, the reason I offered to send you something via email was because ppl want 'proof' of anything regarding Covid that doesn't fit the popular narrative. If I link them here, the comment gets removed. That's what's actually weird.

Millions of fit ppl will have Covid and it won't pose any problems, short or long term. We're talking the minority, for those badly affected outside of the vulnerable categories. Sadly however they exist, just like your DS. I can't refute that, but nearly everyone I know has had Covid over these past two years (more recently since Omicron), aside from a tiny minority, and not one person "thank God" has suffered. I can't go on to ignorantly say that Covid is a mere cold. I know how dangerous it is after these past couple years and I do not minimise it. I am under no illusions about how bad it can be. I have had it myself, and although I luckily only had mild symptoms for two days, it really depleted my energy for a couple weeks, and I've never had the flu before so it was a kind exhaustion I have never felt. So the concern is there for both C and the V.

My other concern is about those who suffer ill effects after vaccine? Why do they get dismissed? However when it comes to long Covid, there are all kinds of foundations set up to support those individuals. Controversial to say, Long Covid is discussed so much that it can become psychosomatic for some ppl. My sister in law who barely had symptoms when she was infected with Covid believed she went on to suffer a mildly debilitating version of long Covid. She couldn't function as normal, had brain fog, fatigue and felt not quite herself.
Later she finally attributed her symptoms to having changed her contraception. Which as soon as she identified, all the symptoms went away, because she no longer decided she had long Covid and realised she could probably alleviate her symptoms by coming off birth control all together. She is now symptom free.

While this is an isolated incident, and long Covid is real and much more serious for some, I am sure there are others like my friend too.

Does he know that the risk of heart infections and heart damage goes up by 100s of percent after a covid infection vs the vaccination? I think you both need to make an appointment with a GP or nurse and talk through the risks properly. The risk of long covid after an infection is actually not yet fully understood because only the most severe forms are diagnosed - I know many children who haven’t been themselves after covid. More tired. Less energy. But as they aren’t bedridden the doctors aren’t taking their parents concerns seriously.

@Ozanj I think you'll find across many age groups, after the past 2 years a vast number of ppl are more tired with less energy, to say the least. That's the minimum of what happens after being lockdown on and off for two years and all the other stresses that come along with being in a pandemic. "Long Pandemic" for those who were ill with Covid or not needs to be addressed and taken more seriously.