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Can't handle the anxiety anymore

52 replies

YukoandHiro · 21/12/2021 01:17

I have two children, 4 and 1, who are constantly ill. I feel jealous of other people becuse I feel like we're just always dealing with this. We've been for endless PCRs and the eldest who already had medical trauma due to lots of painful interventions in her early life, isn't coping with it.
She last had a test for a temp 8 days ago and now has developed a cough. She has asthma anyway so she coughs a lot. I'm lying here trying to work out if an LFT will be enough as I just can't go through it all with her again.
I'm constantly on edge now, I feel like I haven't relaxed in months and I haven't slept well since October due to both children being ill all the time and so much night waking.
The last year has been hell. I can't cope with much more.
This has destroyed my mental health and my ability to trust my instincts as a parent.
I just saw a hospital doctor warning this could be for another five years and for the first time I felt like I can't see any kind of life for us as a family like this.
It sounds awful but we're doing all this to protect my parents who are older and involved in the children's lives but it's at such a cost.
I'm tempted to just stop seeing my parents instead. But that's the only grandparents my children have.
No question really. Just utter misery and exhaustion.
I might just start relying on LFTs as at least it's quick and at home. I just feel like I carry guilt constantly about doing the right thing and meanwhile the useless government are doing whatever the hell they like and other people just getting on with their lives.

OP posts:
violetfern · 23/12/2021 21:08

I know am a bit late to this thread but this has made me feel so much better, I feel exactly the same OP. It’s breaking me. Every time my daughter gets a runny nose I go into a panic thinking we need to test her again. I’m terrified I’ve ruined Christmas as I’ve had a cold and the covid study app said to get a PCR which I did, and I just know it’s going to be positive so we can’t go to my parents and my little girl won’t see her cousins. They will all think I’ve been an idiot. I’m so anxious about ‘doing the right thing’, it’s not even a worry about being ill, which is the most ridiculous part. I can’t enjoy the build up to anything as everything seems to get cancelled as someone is isolating. I see other people just getting on with life and it makes me feel so sad. Thank you for posting, it really resonated.

thebearandthemare · 28/12/2021 10:56

Just a week after commenting on this thread my LO has a temperature again. About two or three weeks after his last one. This cannot be normal. Surely I don’t have to PCR test a child so often, this is horrible 😭 I’ve always done them, each and every time but it’s getting ridiculous now. I’ve lost count of how many he’s had.

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