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Original poster

WWYD Mum has told me she doesn’t want me to do an LFT these this week ‘in case I have Covid and we have to cancel Christmas’

39 replies

Bollocks2Covid · 20/12/2021 16:46

Since April I’ve been doing an LFT test twice a week because I work in a school. Touch wood I’ve not caught Covid yet, but around me people are dropping like flies. For context pretty much everyone I work with either has it or has had it over the last few weeks and I’m one of the very few people who hasn’t. I’m due to spend Christmas with parents, brother and sister in law and their baby.

Yesterday my mum told me she didn’t want to me to do any LFTs this week ‘in case you have Covid and we have to cancel Christmas’. I would never forgive myself if I had it and gave it to someone else in the family. I also know my brother and sister in law are still doing their LFTs although I’m not sure that she’s aware of that. Last week my Dad had to have a PCR test as he had a heavy cold and she was more bothered that would mean we would have to cancel Xmas than the fact he was really unwell (bedridden for two days).

I should point out that my mum has always had extremely high expectations regarding Christmas and always goes to town and expects us to dress up in our best clothes and take part in tables games etc She then plasters photos of it all over social media for everyone to give her the the validation she desperately requires 🙄 I think she’s being fucking stupid and selfish personally, but my gut is telling me to carry on however I know she’ll hir the roof if happen to have a positive test!

WWYD?

OP posts:
dementedpixie · 20/12/2021 16:48

Do the test

PurpleDaisies · 20/12/2021 16:48

Ignore her and test anyway. It’s the right thing to do.

Locomelon · 20/12/2021 16:49

Test anyway. Chances are you won't catch it and she'll be none the wiser.

SickAndTiredAgain · 20/12/2021 16:50

I would continue to do the LFTs. She doesn’t get to dictate that to you.
If I couldn’t be bothered with the argument I might just nod and then not mention it again unless it was positive.

M0rT · 20/12/2021 16:50

Keep testing, you owe it to the baby and your brother and his wife.
I know a family whose baby spent 4 nights in hospital in November with Covid. He is home and recovered now but that experience is not going to leave his parents any time soon.

QOD · 20/12/2021 16:51

ugh
I am at home for Xmas anyway and mum lives in the annexe so it makes no odds BUT dd is going back to work today and back here Xmas Eve and we've jokingly said the same...
she is negative today, we all are - we have done the whole "don't test, then we won't know" "no we can't do that" "but you can isolate here" etc etc
She will test. and we will work out wtf we will do if she is postive.
Technically she lives here but rents a room where she works and stays there around shifts

toomuchlaundry · 20/12/2021 16:52

Test

I assume she won’t test though

JanglyBeads · 20/12/2021 16:52

Is she aware of the risks from covid especially to anyone with vulnerabilities including age? Or does she think it’s “just flu”. Ignore her, but don’t lie.

WallaceinAnderland · 20/12/2021 16:53

Test. Obviously.

SliceOfCakeCupOfTea · 20/12/2021 16:53

You need to take responsibility for your own health and make your own risk assessments which it sounds like you are doing.
Do your LF as normal and if you can't go over at Christmas then you can't. That's it.

I can sort of understand what people are just done with covid. Most of us have been careful and I believe the death rates are much lower now despite cases going up. She's probably think that worse case scenario someone has mile COVID and youll all be okay.
I'm terrified of having to cancel Christmas too as you never know which will be your last.

mintfuschia · 20/12/2021 16:54

I would keep doing the LFTs, and then if you get a positive maybe tell her that while you absolutely would have done what she wanted and not tested if you'd felt fine, as it happens you're feeling really grotty and unwell. Maybe mention nausea or a touch of diarrhoea, to really put her off? That's if you do test positive - of course you very well might not, but at least then you'll be able to feel confident about seeing people.

If she likes social media validation, could she get some by being 'best at supporting a poor ill daughter and family' rather than 'best at putting on family Christmas'? Any way to nudge her in that direction?

SoItWas · 20/12/2021 16:59

Ignore, do the lft's as normal.

Original poster
Bollocks2Covid · 20/12/2021 17:00

Thank you. You’ve all just confirmed what I’ve thought all along. To answer questions, no she won’t test herself. She’s been funny about us testing ourselves all along, she even told me not to encourage my Dad last week when he started feeling unwell and I told him he should just get a PCR for peace of mind.

OP posts:
Helpstopthepain · 20/12/2021 17:04

It would be irresponsible not to test. Remind her that you are a grown up.

Unsure33 · 20/12/2021 17:09

Just test and don’t tell her . What if you passed it in to the baby or your father who has just been ill .

Ridiculous.

Notdoingthis · 20/12/2021 17:10

Maybe the fear of missing Christmas is more real than the fear of catching Covid? Especially Omicron when doible jabbed and boostered. Statistically it may be more likely you ruin her Christmas than pass on anything life threatening or debilitating. I am certainly more worried about disruption than being ill myself, which is my fear with testing positive.
I do understand that you don't want to pass it on, and if anyone was particularly worried and asked you to test, you should.

IncompleteSenten · 20/12/2021 17:12

Do the test.

Chloemol · 20/12/2021 17:13

Test

friendlycat · 20/12/2021 17:13

So she would actually prefer the situation that if someone had covid they would still come to her Christmas bash and infect others including a baby!

You fortunately know the right thing to do.

There are loads of people testing before meeting up this Christmas as they know it's the right thing to do.

Somebodylikeyew · 20/12/2021 17:20

This isn’t about the test, it’s about your Mother and whether she has the right to try and control you and/or ask you to take courses of action that conflict with your conscience.

She doesn’t, OP. You do what you belemiebe is right. How she responds to any consequences of that are on her, and yes, you may have to deal with those, but again- you get to choose how.

Sorry for the pressure she is putting on you Flowers

Somebodylikeyew · 20/12/2021 17:20

*believe

lesenfantsdelesperance · 20/12/2021 17:22

This is your choice and you obviously want to do the test, which is the right thing to do. Don't tell her you did it as a precaution, if ever you do test positive, tell her you felt ill.

Dogscanteatonions · 20/12/2021 17:38

You do the right thing and test. I've got covid and isolating until the 28th. Can't have the Xmas we'd planned. Can't have my parents up for Xmas or my eldest child. Can't see friends. It's gutting but I would NEVER risk infecting people

Cornishclio · 20/12/2021 17:41

Yes you should test and your mum is crazy putting a Christmas get together above peoples health.

Webbedlife · 20/12/2021 17:44

She is being ridiculous. Just do the test.