Is anyone else still completely unvaccinated?

[Honeyhorse]

I know this will probably cause arguments, but I’m just wondering who else is still completely unvaccinated like myself.
Mine is due to extreme anxiety and a needle phobia.
I’m not anti vaccination and I don’t think it’s a conspiracy theory or microchip etc.
I want to talk to my GP about how I’m feeling but I can’t get an appointment
Now everyone is getting boosters and I haven’t even had one, I feel embarrassed and ashamed, but I can’t do it, it’s like I need to be knocked unconscious before I’ll have it. I’ve even walked into the vaccination centre but ended up leaving after a few minutes as I had a panic attack.

I don’t know what to do.

DP and a large proportion of our friends are completely unvaccinated - not even a flu vaccine between them.

@Saucery

It’s not about the fineness of the needle or the pain, BlackCatz, it’s a wider and more complicated set of reactions than that. Childbirth was painful, but that was ok. Blood tests beforehand however…..even with Emla cream (yes, they had to find me some Emla cream, probably from the Children’s Ward! ). The family member with me said it was like I was possessed, they’d never seen me so terrified, out of control or desperate to get away.

I totally get that.

Can I just say what a nice, supportive thread this has been? Thank you for your kind words, I hope by saying how I got on today I might help someone else.

Please talk to someone at your surgery about this, I'm sure you are not the only one.
If you ended up in hospital with Covid you would have a lot more needles so making peace with this one or two is still better in so many ways.

@independent98 I’m sorry you’re faced with such stress. You - and my friend and other posters - should be classed as the vulnerable the rest of us get vaxxed to protect, with the risks the vaccine poses to you. Sadly ableism is alive and well when it comes to invisible / rare conditions.

Good luck to you and to @MrsBillyNoJagNoMates

@PinkSparklyPussyCat just to say congratulations on getting your booster 🎉 yippee! Took immense courage, and it's very inspiring. I'm so happy for you.
I've tried and failed so far, to even have my first one that is. I went to a walk-in centre a few days ago, and got into such a state of panic and sickness feeling, that I couldn't go ahead. I may try again once before Christmas. The problem is that the longer I've left it, the more I've over thought it, and it's got harder.
There are several reasons for me, medical anxiety being just one. I'm also a vegan, and oppose animal testing. But I know the vegan society recommends vaccination alongside campaigning to end animal testing. So I realise it may not be a totally valid argument. But I feel very upset about it. A few other reasons too. Then there's my crippling medical anxiety. But, I'd like to get vaccinated, just to assuage my guilt. Which is overwhelming me utterly. It's an awful situation, and I can't wait for it all to be a memory...

@PinkSparklyPussyCat
You are amazing. What an achievement.

@WanderingFruitWonderer would you not find it easier to book an appointment so that your time spent queuing outside the centre would be minimised?

Easier said than done at the moment I know but queue times are long right now.

[quote ChequerBoard]@WanderingFruitWonderer would you not find it easier to book an appointment so that your time spent queuing outside the centre would be minimised?

Easier said than done at the moment I know but queue times are long right now. [/quote]
Our local vaccine centre doesn't have a separate queue for booked appointments and those people who just turn up. It's causing a bit of frustration as you can imagine.

@SirChenjins DH and I had ours at local pharmacies so booked appointments only there at the time. DD had hers at a walk-in centre yesterday where she queued for 3 hours but there were separate queues for booked and walk-in appointments.

I suppose as more sites that were appointment only switch to offer walk-ins as well, the queues will be mixed as there just isn't the space as some sites for two separate streams of activity.

Oh PinkSparklyPussyCat, I’m beyond pleased for you and your update has given me more confidence than you could ever know.

I’ve been lurking on this thread but have my own thread about my phobia. You, and others, have been amazing at sharing stories and inspiring me. I struggled so much with the first two vaccinations and now I feel like I’ve hit a wall wrt the booster. I’m trying so hard not to think like that but, honestly, I’m making myself ill thinking about going through it all again.

My main problem, and the real difference with the booster, compared to the last two instances, is the reporting of the queues and how busy the centres are. The fact that centres are fewer now so there will be more people there, more chance of seeing someone I know, fewer volunteers and the vaccinators needing to work faster to get through everything – this to me says that I won’t get the support that I relied on the first couple of times, that they won’t have the time or resource to help me.

I’ve been beating myself up about this but one thing which occurred to me last night (my 5th consecutive night of little sleep, nightmares and waking up sobbing) is that I have come really far. Until now, I’ve been thinking that the therapy I had in the past didn’t work – that I was too phobic and nothing could help me but actually what that did was get me to a point where I can make an appointment and turn up on the day. Several years ago I just wouldn’t have done it at all. The thing is that getting there takes all I have. From that point on, I can’t support myself alone. It becomes a two-way street and I need the support of the staff to actually get me in the door and get the vaccination done. So the stress for me right now is knowing whether that support will be there but the more I read positive experiences from others, the more my confidence builds.

I completely relate to the poster upthread who said that blood tests made her act like she was possessed. This is it. It’s not really the size of the needle, or whether it will be felt at all – there’s just something about the process which flips a switch in my brain and I just cannot cope. As I’ve said on the the other thread, I would love it if I was “just” a fainter. Even a sober or a fainter. For me it’s the opposite, I start fighting to get away and cannot control this reaction.

@PinkSparklyPussyCat

Well done you!
And thank you for coming back and sharing your experience. I hope the OP and other needle phobics are reading and it gives them courage.

OP, you need someone to go with you,. DS has needle phobia and I had to travel to his uni town to hold his hand while he was jabbed.

Did you know you can now buy a cream that numbs the site of the needle? Get that, take a paracetamol, put the cream on your arm, bring a very loving and supportive friend or family member, explain to the staff that you have a phobia and then don't once look in their direction. Just turn your head away and chat to your friend or concentrate on deep in out breaths. The jab takes less that a second.

Good luck.

I do understand

If the preventative was somehow to go and stand in a confided space for a long time I’d be struggling to get it!

It’s also important to understand the varying degrees of a phobia. I have two massive phobias in my life – needles and spiders. I can be open about the latter because it’s seen as more acceptable. Needle phobia seems to be quite shameful – something you are supposed to grow out of (as some less sensitive posters on this thread have demonstrated). My friends and family have seen me freeze up, get short of breath and start to panic when there is even the smallest arachnid around. The one time I tried to confide in my very best friend about my needle phobia (back before I had any therapy, when I was absolutely refusing any medical treatment and hadn’t even registered with a GP after moving house), I explained it by saying that if a disease could be cured or prevented by me getting a needle in my body, or having to hold a tarantula, I would grab the spider every time. That’s the comparison and that’s how bad it is. She just laughed at me, saying she didn’t believe me for a minute – partly because she knew nothing on earth could get me close to a spider and partly because she knew I was a sensible, educated person who would never put my health at risk over something so small and silly. The point I was trying to make fell flat and I ended up feeling even more ashamed and guilty for having this phobia.

Some people on this thread and others have posted their own experiences of being terrified or supporting others in this position, who have gone to the vax centres, explained the situation to the vaccinator and then looked away while it was being done. I’m not belittling those people at all because I absolutely understand the courage it will have taken to do that but for me, that situation as described is beyond me. In fact, this is my best case scenario for the future and where I hope I can be in time but now, I can’t get through the door. I cannot be in a setting where there are multiple needles all around me at different booths/stations. I cannot face the sights and sounds that will come with that. I can’t look at or be around other people without visualising what it about to happen to them – and me – and then panicking. I can’t stop my brain treating the vaccinator as a threat and therefore cannot have a rational conversation with them. Simply looking away does not stop the images in my head.

And yet, I am further along this journey than others posting here. I am aware that there are people who cannot get to the point of making the appointment. They might be looking at me thinking that I don’t understand the depth of their fear. It’s all a spectrum and I’m working along it slowly but I can look back and be proud of the small achievements so far and so should every single person posting about this, even if you are still unable to even consider being vaccinated, you are posting your thoughts and fears and that in itself is an achievement.

I just wish there was some way of calling ahead to the centre, to know what support will be available when I get there in order to give my confidence and courage that extra boost it needs right now.

Well done to everyone who has managed to screw up their courage! I'm very impressed. I have a phobia too and I don't think I'd be able to get past that to get medical treatment.

Me either Viking thinking about it is enough

Big accomplishment

Excellent post @Notimmaturejustscared. Some people don't seem to grasp the fact that a) there are different levels of phobia and b) phobias are not rational.

I absolutely would not have gone yesterday if DH hadn't taken me. I wouldn't have even made the appointment. When I was in the screened off area I kept saying to him that I knew what was going on out there and I couldn't cope. In the end, and I completely accept this wouldn't work for everyone, I kept concentrating on the Christmas tree that I could see in the corner. It became my focus point, something to metaphorically hold on to. I'm stuffed if I have to have another jab when it's not Christmas - I think DH would draw the line at taking a tree for me! The other thing I did, and again this was personal for me, was to wear the necklace I had made from my Mum's jewellery when she died so I felt I had some extra support - I'm 46 and wanted my Mum so that was the closest I could get. (I said phobias aren't rational!)

On the subject of phobias not being rational, I remember sitting in the hairdressers earlier this year and the woman in the chair next to me was phlebotomist. She was saying how she has patience for people with phobias, but not if they have tattoos or piercings. I don't usually get involved in hairdressers conversations but I had to say something. I explained that to my completely irrational brain, they are different needles and my phobia is purely of hypodermic needles. I'm probably in the minority but to me they are nowhere near the same. To give her credit she listened, didn't dismiss what I was saying and thanked me for explaining. Whether or not she actually took any notice I don't know, but hopefully she might think twice before being impatient with someone.

Well done to everyone who has managed to screw up their courage! I'm very impressed. I have a phobia too and I don't think I'd be able to get past that to get medical treatment

Yeap. I've been wrestling with my personal phobia lately and losing.

All I can say is Keep Wrestling.
Not because of vaccinations for Covid, but because everyone deserves not to be at the beck and call of their phobias, especially if that limits where they go, what they do, how freely they live

@XenoBitch exactly. I wasn't totally needle phobic but I really didn't like them and would avoid injections if I could.

Then I needed chemotherapy - cured me of the needle issue pretty quickly along with all the blood tests I had to have!

I had a friend who was anti-vax. I said used, as he caught covid and sadly died. I'll always wonder if he was double jabbed whether he'd still be here.

I completely relate to the poster upthread who said that blood tests made her act like she was possessed. This is it. It’s not really the size of the needle, or whether it will be felt at all – there’s just something about the process which flips a switch in my brain and I just cannot cope. As I’ve said on the the other thread, I would love it if I was “just” a fainter. Even a sober or a fainter. For me it’s the opposite, I start fighting to get away and cannot control this reaction

@Notimmaturejustscared

I could say the same... word for word. I wish I was a sobber or fainter. I used to be a sobber, but now I am full on flight... and if I can't flight then it is fight. And no one will risk themselves trying to jab me when like that.

If someone approached me with what I loathe (I can’t type it) I’d be the same.

Needle-free covid vaccines are being trialled, adminstered through a puff of air! Amazing. www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-59642182