Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Covid

Mumsnet doesn't verify the qualifications of users. If you have medical concerns, please consult a healthcare professional.

Original poster

I'm positive but kids are not. Dad not helping

34 replies

152820p · 03/11/2021 07:48

I have covid. My two kids are negative according to regular lateral flows. Which means they can go to school

Great in theory, but I have nobody who will come and take them and collect them

We do not live with their dad. He works from 7-4 so can't do either, fine

But he's shirking his responsibility to have them for dinner once this week and once overnight at the weekend

If they can go to school then surely legally they're allowed to see their dad? Does anybody know if this is correct or am I being grabby?

OP posts:
Original poster
152820p · 03/11/2021 07:49

I just want to add that I don't want him to have them for a break, it's more for a break for them as they're stuck in doors every single day

OP posts:
xmasturkey · 03/11/2021 08:02

I think you should do pcr tests for your dc.

Artie30 · 03/11/2021 08:21

Children should do a pcr if they can, rather than lateral flow.

Tbf I wouldn't send Ds with his dad if I was covid positive. I understand that you are poorly and your kids are not but if your children were carrying it and passed it to him...

Sucks about the school run but their dad cannot do it anyway... speak to the school and see what they suggest!

Lazypuppy · 03/11/2021 08:24

Kids have always been allowed to move between parents homes.

He should be gaving them more this week to help as their other parent

Original poster
152820p · 03/11/2021 08:32

So let me get this straight. They can go to school without doing PCRs and possibly pass it to 30+ children but should do a pcr test before seeing THEIR DAD? Right. 🤨

OP posts:
Original poster
152820p · 03/11/2021 08:33

@Lazypuppy

Kids have always been allowed to move between parents homes.

He should be gaving them more this week to help as their other parent

That's exactly what I thought too. Thank you
OP posts:
Original poster
152820p · 03/11/2021 08:34

I'm not doing PCR tests on them. They're 4 and 2. It's hard enough doing lateral flows on them by myself. They've no symptoms. I'll just keep them isolated with myself.

OP posts:
solania · 03/11/2021 08:44

@152820p

So let me get this straight. They can go to school without doing PCRs and possibly pass it to 30+ children but should do a pcr test before seeing THEIR DAD? Right. 🤨
Technically they can go to school and go to their dad's, but that’s because our govt has decided on a "let it rip" herd immunity policy. It doesn’t mean it's sensible to send them to school and to another parent. I sympathise with your situation as it must be so hard being single parent to two under fives and having Covid yourself, but I can also sympathise with your ex in not wanting to risk exposure to it himself. On balance I’m slightly more on your side, but I guess I can see where he’s coming from.

I hope you’re better soon and the kids don't get it.

BlackeyedSusan · 03/11/2021 08:56

I would PCR for school if you were able. It's the same as lateral flow. (up both nostrils for children)

BlackeyedSusan · 03/11/2021 08:57

(but keeping them home is more sensible)

Willyoujustbequiet · 03/11/2021 09:09

You can get a postal pcr and the process is the same so I think that's a bit of a cop out. What about other vulnerable kids?

Bizawit · 03/11/2021 10:06

@Lazypuppy

Kids have always been allowed to move between parents homes.

He should be gaving them more this week to help as their other parent

This. Sorry OP, sounds like dad is being utterly crap.
PaintedDaisy · 03/11/2021 10:29

@152820p

I'm not doing PCR tests on them. They're 4 and 2. It's hard enough doing lateral flows on them by myself. They've no symptoms. I'll just keep them isolated with myself.
I've done loads on my toddler so they can go to nursery it's hard but better than spreading covid.
PaintedDaisy · 03/11/2021 10:29

@152820p

So let me get this straight. They can go to school without doing PCRs and possibly pass it to 30+ children but should do a pcr test before seeing THEIR DAD? Right. 🤨
Yes because the government have decided they don't care about the kids. They should do a PCR test.
Anycolourwilldo · 03/11/2021 10:33

Really feel for you. Their dad should step up, especially if he is double vaxed. Imagine if you had a sickness bug or the flu? I'm sure he would take them then.
Hope you feel better soon

Lottie4 · 03/11/2021 10:34

I understand you're upset and frustrated OP. From my experience there's no difference between LFTs and PCRs in terms of how they're done. Our school had to issue a letter to parents before half term asking parents to test children daily if they'd had known contact and keep them at home for any illness (I appreciate they're not ill though). It's a large primary so we have 100 4+ children.

Original poster
152820p · 03/11/2021 10:57

@Willyoujustbequiet

You can get a postal pcr and the process is the same so I think that's a bit of a cop out. What about other vulnerable kids?
I don't think you quite understand the point of my post. My kids aren't going to school, do not worry about that. How am I copping out? And of what?
OP posts:
SheWoreYellow · 03/11/2021 11:00

Because your logic of not doing a PCR, when you’ve been doing LFTs doesn’t make any sense. They’re the same to administer, it’s just the LFTs are much less likely to pick up a positive.

Original poster
152820p · 03/11/2021 11:01

Thank you for the kind responses I've had. I hope my kids don't get it either. I haven't asked their dad to have them overnight or for dinner he just told me he wasn't. I've just asked if he could come and take them for a walk, I live opposite a big farmers field where he wouldn't even need to touch them and they wouldn't come into contact with anyone else

I don't want my children to spread it, there's no need for them to do a PCR test for everyone who is suggesting it. They aren't going to school. I just wanted them to see their dad. He works alone too, on a building site in a house ALONE

OP posts:
PaintedDaisy · 03/11/2021 11:01

I don't get why you won't do a PCR if you'll do an LFT

Original poster
152820p · 03/11/2021 11:01

@SheWoreYellow

Because your logic of not doing a PCR, when you’ve been doing LFTs doesn’t make any sense. They’re the same to administer, it’s just the LFTs are much less likely to pick up a positive.
Because what is the need to do one?!
OP posts:
Sirzy · 03/11/2021 11:05

I think not mixing is the best option. Just because something is allowed doesn’t make it sensible!

Toottootdrive · 03/11/2021 11:06

I read your post like you wanted DC Dad to take them to school and back, to help you. That you wanted to send them to school. Although you then say one is 2 so you don’t actually want to send them to school you just want their Dad to have them more while you are sick.

Which is quite reasonable but you should do a PCR, they very likely have it and are asymptomatic. My 3 yo had a negative LFT and positive PCR on the same day.

Original poster
152820p · 03/11/2021 11:08

@Toottootdrive

I read your post like you wanted DC Dad to take them to school and back, to help you. That you wanted to send them to school. Although you then say one is 2 so you don’t actually want to send them to school you just want their Dad to have them more while you are sick.

Which is quite reasonable but you should do a PCR, they very likely have it and are asymptomatic. My 3 yo had a negative LFT and positive PCR on the same day.

Ideally he would have taken them to school as I've had my eldest school on the phone repeating over and over that he has a legal obligation to get my son to school but obviously that won't happen and isn't the wisest option

I haven't even asked him to have them more, he hardly sees them as it is. I just want him to get them out the house for a bit as it's unfair that they're cooped up all day every day

OP posts:
girlmom21 · 03/11/2021 11:10

If he's useless as it is, I wouldn't expect him to do anything to help.

Do you have a garden the kids can play in?