Severe anxiety over the vaccine.

[BrokenArrows]

Please be kind - I know some people will think I'm ridiculous or being selfish, but the anxiety this bloody vaccine is having on me is ruining my life. I spend hours a day online researching whether or not I should have the vaccine. So much so that it's actually affecting my work.

I see the articles selected and featured online about young healthy people and mums dying of covid becuase they didn't have the vaccine, and it panics me becuase I don't want to be one of those healthy mums that leaves her children behind.

But then at the same time I can't ignore all of the side effects I'm seeing online and reading about people having becuase of the vaccine. Crazy heavy bleeding with their periods, missed and painful periods for months, blood clots, myocarditis, heart palpatations, pins and needles in limbs, nerve damage, uncontrollable shaking and twitching, young healthy women no longer able to walk, skin hives and rashes that last months.

I'm not anti-vax. I would love to get a vaccine that is safe and effective against covid, but for me my mind canot rationalise the current vaccines as a safe and effective solution. I'm petrified of the MRNA vaccines, so my mind bounces back and forth numerous times a day between going to get an AZ vaccine and then panicking about all the potential side effects from something I'm willingly putting into my body while the side effects are being dismissed by doctors who insist they're not due to the vaccine. One minute I'm just like F-it, I'll go get it, and then the next I'm panicking like the vaccine will be a death sentance for me.

People try and tell me oh don't worry, the people who have these side effects are so small it won't happen to you. But then I just think yes, but the % of people who actually die of covid is so small maybe it won't happen to me either. Or vice-versa - they'll say yes but look at the people dying of covid - and I'll just think we'll the chances of me dying are so slim. But look at all these people with life changing side effects. It actually seems to me to be more than those healthy people who are dying of covid. It weighs hugely on my mind. My mind is in constant turmoil and I just feel like sometimes it'd be easier not to even be around anymore so I wouldn't have to make this decision.

All vaccines and medications carry a risk of some kind.

If you don't have a vaccine and (heaven forbid) you do become poorly, will you be questioning all the medications and therapies offered to you at hospital in the same way as you are questioning the vaccine?

The risk of the effects of COVID and risk of dying from COVID far outweigh the risks of the vaccine. Both have risks but the vaccine is less risky than COVID!
I suffer with anxiety and overthinking and can do my own head in. Either get the jab then you will stop worrying put it as choice is gone or go and see your GP about your anxiety they can help with meds/therapy to calm you down and help you think more rationally.

OP, it is not a question of rare vaccine side effects versus rare deaths from Covid.
Covid can leave you long term disabled - I have been struggling with severe breathlessness and fatigue for nearly 18 months due to long Covid.
Covid is more likely to cause life threatening or disabling blood clots than the vaccine. Ditto lung and heart damage.
The only sensible choice is to get vaccinated.

You don't have to get the vaccine OP. It sounds like you're making yourself ill worrying about it.

Don't forget Chris Whitty stated last year that this would be a mild illness for the vast majority and that hasn't changed.

For the record I'm 50 and unvaccinated and have no worries at all about covid and its very sad to hear how terrified some people are about this virus.

It sounds like you’re best off parking whether to have the vaccine or not and chatting to your GP about your mental health.

Hello my dear
I would never tell someone with such anxiety to just get the vaccine
But you do seem very anxious about possibilities either with or without the vaccine
So please see your gp not so they can persuade you of either argument. But to help manage your anxiety
Thanks

86 percent have mild or no symptoms with covid.

Why not book an appointment at a vaccine centre. They have people who will talk you through your concerns. They don’t have an agenda and they aren’t going to force opinions on you.

If you want to leave that’s ok. Nobody will mind. They want what’s best for you and understand anxiety.

This probably won't help but
I have numerous autoimmune conditions that randomly came on including hives and a blood disorder. If it's rare, I get it and my body hates me! I needed the vaccine as I'm CEV
I had AZ both doses and the side effects were less than my usual medications. Flu type symptoms overnight for the first one, nothing for the second

@PurpleDaisies

It sounds like you’re best off parking whether to have the vaccine or not and chatting to your GP about your mental health.

This

I didn’t want to get the vaccine either. I am worried that it can cause problems that haven’t been discovered yet, like that drug that caused birth defects when given to pregnant women. I also think I’m low risk of catching COVID anyway, as I’m on maternity leave and spending most of my time at home.
In the end, I have received the first vaccine and will get the second one on Sunday. I did it because I want a vaccine passport as a lot of places in Ireland won’t let you in without it.

I would be far more concerned about your mental health if you are saying you are sucidal for this than risks from vaccine or covid. I really think you need to get urgent help for your mental health, maybe send this to your GP. I have had the vaccines and had covid and was ill from both but the effects subside and some people get no symptoms from vaccine or covid. Your mental health will just get worse if you dont get help. Statistically vaccine is better option but that is a choice for you to make. I would not recommend going to vaccine centre, I was anxious and the nurse was horrible and I found it quite distressing. They are there to vaccinate people, not to provide mental health support.

I have OCD so I get the fear. I also have autoimmune conditions , one of which has some treatment that I try not to think too hard about. They give me other meds first to avoid the known side effects. All the staff say it'll be fine but they avoid talking about the "What if". I need to talk about that. It calms me.
The vaccine people know what they're doing. A vaccine hub has a doctor and they can handle minor side effects. The hospitals know what to do. They have seen all the effects. They are prepared.

OP I totally understand. I was you. Didn't get it when I was supposed to and spent months worrying about it day and night, googling and researching. I would also think F* it, just go get it, anything has to be better than this, but just couldn't lift the phone to make the appointment. What finally tipped the scales for me was I kept thinking, if I catch Covid and I get seriously ill, (I'm asthmatic and overweight) the regret at my stupidity due to fear would be beyond words, so I got my first one 3 weeks ago. I cried when they injected me. Felt like a fool but I was so overwhelmed after building it up in my head for months. I had no side effects, nothing, except a very slightly sore arm which I probably wouldn't even have noticed if I hadn't been looking for it!

Obviously I can't tell you that you won't have any side effects, but what I can tell you is, I feel so much relief that I've had it done.

You can't know how you will be if you do get Covid, so maybe try to think how you will feel if it hits you bad, or worse, and it could have been prevented.

I know how difficult this is for you

Have you read all the stories of the people who’ve had no issues whatsoever with their vaccines? Only the most extreme cases of adverse effects make it into the media, and they are the tiniest proportion of the total. But I think the way you are feeling is far beyond an internet forum’s ability to reassure you either way, speak to your gp ASAP because it must be horrible living with such anxiety.

We had the AZ vaccine including our DD's , 20&22 because they are on medication that was listed as making them group 6. Needless to say no serious side effects, but I did feel rough for a day after the first so schedule for a day you can be at home for a day or two afterwards (second was ok). The blood clots issue is because blood clots and low platelets are a symptom of covid, but like you I was more comfortable with AZ.

It is your decision, why not ask if you can speak to the dr or practice nurse?

I was very anxious about getting the vaccine but ultimately I was more anxious and scared of catching covid and tying, leaving my toddler behind.

It’s been most 6 months since my 2nd Pfizer and I’m 32.

All the side effects you listed are rare but these type of side effects can occur with all medications and vaccines.

I am currently on a course of Metronidazole and the rare possible side effects are as below, just makes you stop and think, no? Millions take metronidazole without a second though - and why wouldn’t we? Benefit outweighs the risk!

Meningitis Not Due To An Infection
Decreased Blood Platelets
Low Levels Of White Blood Cells
Low Levels Of A Type Of White Blood Cell Called Neutrophils
A Type Of Brain Function Problem Called Encephalopathy
Optic Neuropathy, A Disease Of The Optic Nerve
Acute Inflammation Of The Pancreas
Inflammation Of The Bladder
A Skin Disorder With Blistering And Peeling Skin Called Toxic Epidermal Necrolysis
A Skin Disorder With Blistering And Peeling Skin Called Stevens-Johnson Syndrome
Erythema Or Redness Of Skin Or Mucous Membrane
Hives
Seizures
Loss Of Muscle Coordination
A Skin Rash

Everything in life carries risk, not just meds.

I bet you cross the road? That carries risk but you still cross the road as it's a calculated risk and not crossing the road prevents you from going to the place you want to go to.

Also every single person I know at work, socially and in my immediate and wider family (easily talking over 100 people) and not one adverse reaction between us - and trust me we all over share everything (even my colleagues).

Take a big deep breath and go get the vaccine.

Your mental health should be priority right now. The vaccine decision can be sidelined for the time being. Please speak to your doctor and get some help and support for your anxiety.

I didn’t want the vaccine and still think on the balance of probability I would have been fine if caught covid but I cannot do my job if I have to keep self isolating because of not being jabbed and I am the main breadwinner . I am very angry at being coerced but had my second one with absolutely zero side effects on Wednesday. I was making myself more anxious about being unjabbed and the issues with employment and socially that I figured just to me get it over and done with . If you don’t have these same worries then don’t get jabbed , whilst you hear awful stories of people dying unvaccinated , there are many others where people recover well

My child had covid 2 weeks ago and despite sharing meals together and watching tv we didn’t catch it from her and my other child is unjabbed, husband double and me single so either we have some natural immunity which appears to be ignored or it’s not that infectious

I'm sorry you are experiencing this. Ultimately it's your choice.

I'm 48 and I've currently got Covid. It's not been pleasant, even being double vaccinated and I wonder how I'd have coped unvaccinated.

I hope you get some strong advice and support

@BrokenArrows

Please be kind - I know some people will think I'm ridiculous or being selfish, but the anxiety this bloody vaccine is having on me is ruining my life. I spend hours a day online researching whether or not I should have the vaccine. So much so that it's actually affecting my work.

I see the articles selected and featured online about young healthy people and mums dying of covid becuase they didn't have the vaccine, and it panics me becuase I don't want to be one of those healthy mums that leaves her children behind.

But then at the same time I can't ignore all of the side effects I'm seeing online and reading about people having becuase of the vaccine. Crazy heavy bleeding with their periods, missed and painful periods for months, blood clots, myocarditis, heart palpatations, pins and needles in limbs, nerve damage, uncontrollable shaking and twitching, young healthy women no longer able to walk, skin hives and rashes that last months.

I'm not anti-vax. I would love to get a vaccine that is safe and effective against covid, but for me my mind canot rationalise the current vaccines as a safe and effective solution. I'm petrified of the MRNA vaccines, so my mind bounces back and forth numerous times a day between going to get an AZ vaccine and then panicking about all the potential side effects from something I'm willingly putting into my body while the side effects are being dismissed by doctors who insist they're not due to the vaccine. One minute I'm just like F-it, I'll go get it, and then the next I'm panicking like the vaccine will be a death sentance for me.

People try and tell me oh don't worry, the people who have these side effects are so small it won't happen to you. But then I just think yes, but the % of people who actually die of covid is so small maybe it won't happen to me either. Or vice-versa - they'll say yes but look at the people dying of covid - and I'll just think we'll the chances of me dying are so slim. But look at all these people with life changing side effects. It actually seems to me to be more than those healthy people who are dying of covid. It weighs hugely on my mind. My mind is in constant turmoil and I just feel like sometimes it'd be easier not to even be around anymore so I wouldn't have to make this decision.

In the gentlest way possible OP - you're not "researching". The people that genuinely were involved in developing and rolling out the vaccine, and the continued monitoring of it's safety and efficacy, are happy to be vaccinated. The benefits outweigh the risks to adults, and this will only increase depending on your age/clinical status. The risks of either infection or vaccination are both miniscule.

However I appreciate that's not in any way helpful if you're anxious about it. Could you get an antibody test? If you know you've previously had COVID then that would take the pressure of in terms of being worried about infection, or feeling you need to be vaccinated.

Thank you all for your comments and understanding. I’ve only been able to come back to this post now.

I’ve just had a massive anxiety attack and my husband is furious with me. We’d come to a friends birthday party and it was indoors in their house and there were sooo many people all crammed inside. People coming up to me wanting to hug and I had to pull away every time and explain myself and within 5 mins of being inside burst into tears and had to leave. I feel like I can’t breathe right already and my husband is messaging me angry because I’ve left him with the kids at the party. He’s so against the vaccine so is unvaccinated himself and I’m so uneasy with him being inside but he’s calling me names and saying I’m being stupid and that everything is fine. I feel awful for having to leave my friends party but I just can’t be in there.

I’ve ordered an anti-body test and hope to hell o have some. If I did I would feel so much better. Yesterday I tried to make an appointment for the vaccine but there weren’t any. I don’t know if I would have been able to go or not though when the time actually came.

And yes while I know every vaccine has side effects, I think there are way more side effects with this one than any other. And I am so angry at the fact that they’re being ignored and the people that have them are being silenced. I have PCOS and endometriosis and it took years and years to regulate my periods. I grew up bleeding through jeans and tampons and having painful clots and periods. Mine last 3 days now and the thought of having one of the terrible menstral side effects freaks me out, especially because no one seems to know why it’s happening or why their lasting so long.

I’m sorry. I’m rambling now. Just sat in my car trying to calm my breathing down but it’s not working

I do agree with the people suggesting that getting some help for your mental health is the most important thing right now OP. Covid has a small chance of harming you, the vaccine an even smaller one, but your anxiety is hurting you significantly now.

I think there are way more side effects with this one than any other.
That's an easy one - no they aren't.
Do you have a walk in clinic near you?
6 BILLION doses of vaccine have now been given & apparently half of all the humans on earth have had at least one dose. It is an incredibly safe & effective vaccine.