Wedding - covid

[newnameanon19]

We're getting married in a few days' time and DP's sister's boyfriend has covid. She still wants to come after a PCR. We have a 90 year old guest (and a fair few in their late 60s).

WWYD? I feel completely torn, my DP's sister attending vs vulnerable guest. It's a tiny ceremony, we're considering saying she could come to the lunch and move that outside, but skip the ceremony, which is in a very small room?

I know by law she does not have to self isolate but I am so not comfortable sharing a room with someone sharing a bed with someone covid positive...

Have you had a conversation with your partner about this. I totally agree with you but I think your partner needs to have a talk with her.

No, and she shouldn't be asking. She can zoom in, can't she? I'm going to ageist and assume nan can't

Tell the 90 year old then they can decide if they want to come or not

But it's not just the 90 year old, is it? There might be any number of other people there who don't want to risk mixing with a potentially infectious person for any number of reasons - health vulnerability, caring responsibilities, holidays, important week at work ahead. Not least the bride and groom who don't want to fall ill on their honeymoon!

Why on earth should the 90 year old have to opt out and not the person who is potentially sick? Your soon-to-be DH needs to have serious words with his sister for spoiling the day for everyone else, causing all this stress and worry!

Are you able to tell her she can't come? I know it must be hard but hear the tone of this thread (with its notable exception) - no-one thinks she should be there. So that's going to be your other guests responses. She really should not be going and you really should be trying, with all the apologies and gentleness that's required to mollify her, to firmly and clearly uninvite her. Good luck OP and hope you have a lovely and safe wedding.

What is the timeline - when did he get his positive and when is the wedding? I am assuming it would still be within the 10 day isolation period and she is following the current advice?

If so I think your compromise about lunch outside sounds like it could work - if you are happy with that. I think it is one of those situations where it is rubbish for everyone - as COVID so often is.

For you you want to protect quite rightly your 90 year old Nan and therefore dont want your sister in law there

For your DP its his sister and he wants her there but also one assumes recognises the need to protect your Nan and other guests

For your SIL its awful because this has stopped her going - it is a normal reaction when you first get this kind of news to almost plough on regardless - time may well have changed her approach.

The problem is the current rules do not require isolation so you are going to need to make some difficult choices so you need to do them together.

That said wait for her to get the PCR back - it could very well be positive and therefore all of this is moot. I assume she has sent already

@Sarcobaleno

I wouldn't let her to wedding if she's too daft to follow guidance. She should be isolating from her BF. Why should the 90 year old be put at risk because of someone else taking risks.

Not this again. Not everyone can isolate from the people they live with. If DH or get it we won't be able to, we'll be carrying on as normal in the home. However neither of us would then go to a wedding so I do think the sister is being selfish.

Thanks, all. The wedding went ahead and she didn't come. As it goes she tested negative throughout, and has remained symptom free, but I'm glad we did what we did as we could relax on the day.