Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Covid

Mumsnet doesn't verify the qualifications of users. If you have medical concerns, please consult a healthcare professional.

Original poster

Im never going to get past the pandemic, am I?

42 replies

BucksStar · 22/08/2021 18:18

I don’t see how I am ever going to be able to accept that Covid is part of our lives. I just can’t.

My daughter was born just before lockdown 1 and as a first time mum I will never forget the fear of something taking me away from my baby, that something was Covid.

I’ve spent the majority of my daughters life social distancing, washing shopping, wearing masks.
I don’t know how to be “normal” anymore, like pre pandemic normal.

I’m double vaccinated but I’m still petrified of Covid.

There isn’t a day that goes by where I don’t think about it. I don’t enjoy pre pandemic activities as I feel like I’m living my life / spending my time trying to avoid catching Covid.

I’m so envious when I see people now enjoying life, looking / acting normal.

I don’t understand how we’ve gone from all these restrictions to absolutely nothing.

I really don’t see how I can comfortably live like I used to knowing that Covid is still around and in very high numbers.

I want to be a fun happy mum, but instead I’m anxious and fearful.

I hate taking my daughter places Incase she touches things or gets too close to other babies.

I would love to hear from others who might feel the same way I do.

OP posts:
HumdrumGuga · 22/08/2021 18:20

I think you need to go to your GP Flowers

I don't know how old your child is but think it would be good to speak to your dr about how you're feeling. Kids need to be around other children, especially as they get older.

lannistunut · 22/08/2021 18:22

I can understand why you feel like that but I believe you can and hopefully will get past it Flowers.

It sounds like a trauma response, this is not surprising even if most people do not respond the same way.

I was very traumatised by something once, and now it is long in the past. Speak to your GP and get a counsellor if you can afford to pay for one.

Original poster
BucksStar · 22/08/2021 18:24

@HumdrumGuga

I think you need to go to your GP Flowers

I don't know how old your child is but think it would be good to speak to your dr about how you're feeling. Kids need to be around other children, especially as they get older.

@HumdrumGuga

Sorry I should’ve specified In my post.
My daughter goes to nursery so she does see other children.
I just don’t like taking her other places 😬

OP posts:
Farwest · 22/08/2021 18:26

I'm so sorry you're struggling.

Can you make a GP appointment and seek some support for your anxiety? You can get past your worry and lead a full life again.

Your vaccination will do a good job at protecting you from serious illness. But you may need extra support for your mental health, and that's fair enough. It must have been a very stressful time for you. Flowers

MRex · 22/08/2021 18:27

Your child must be about 18 months old. It's very important for your daughter at this age that she gets to see normal social interaction and gets to play alongside others. It was reasonable to be careful when your daughter was a newborn and you weren't vaccinated, but you need to step back into life now.

You need to start going to some mum groups, making friends and letting your daughter make friends. These don't need to be big events; church playgroups, music classes and some play areas are still being kept to quite small groups. Try contacting a few and talking to them, and ask your health visitor for advice as they may be able to get you into something suitable at the children's centre.
Talk to your GP if necessary to get a referral for managing your anxiety.

HumdrumGuga · 22/08/2021 18:27

That's great! But you'll go stir crazy stuck inside. Definitely give your Dr a call. I can imagine there are a lot of people in the same boat, I think people sometimes cope well with whatever's going on, then when things aren't so stressful that's when it hits them? That's been my experience anyway.

Original poster
BucksStar · 22/08/2021 18:30

@MRex

Your child must be about 18 months old. It's very important for your daughter at this age that she gets to see normal social interaction and gets to play alongside others. It was reasonable to be careful when your daughter was a newborn and you weren't vaccinated, but you need to step back into life now.

You need to start going to some mum groups, making friends and letting your daughter make friends. These don't need to be big events; church playgroups, music classes and some play areas are still being kept to quite small groups. Try contacting a few and talking to them, and ask your health visitor for advice as they may be able to get you into something suitable at the children's centre.
Talk to your GP if necessary to get a referral for managing your anxiety.

@MRex

I have signed us up to music classes for the September term, but I am so anxious about going.

There will be no distancing / masks required and it really makes me feel on edge.

I will take her because I don’t want her to miss out.

OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 22/08/2021 18:32

You need to speak to your GP about your anxiety levels.

HumdrumGuga · 22/08/2021 18:32

Take a mask with you, if it helps at all?

beigebrownblue · 22/08/2021 18:33

Yes, I've felt like this, forced myself to do things and feeling slowly better about it now. Hope you ok.

Starjammer · 22/08/2021 18:33

What is your fear? You getting it? Your daughter?

I know a few toddlers who have had it and they've barely had symptoms. There are a lot of quite nasty childhood viruses that I personally think are probably more worth the headspace to worry about with healthy young kids than Covid. Chickenpox can be very nasty and result in lifelong complications or even death but no one seems petrified of their child getting that.

I think it's important to be sensible but live your life. She will bring home all manner of things from nursery, some that will knock you for six and some they won't. We've had hand, foot and mouth (which made me very unwell), numerous colds that always hit us way harder than her, etc.

EileenGC · 22/08/2021 18:35

Wear an FFP2 mask which provides you with protection as well. Think about how 99% of people who do catch Covid are actually fine in the long term.

Original poster
BucksStar · 22/08/2021 18:35

@Starjammer

What is your fear? You getting it? Your daughter?

I know a few toddlers who have had it and they've barely had symptoms. There are a lot of quite nasty childhood viruses that I personally think are probably more worth the headspace to worry about with healthy young kids than Covid. Chickenpox can be very nasty and result in lifelong complications or even death but no one seems petrified of their child getting that.

I think it's important to be sensible but live your life. She will bring home all manner of things from nursery, some that will knock you for six and some they won't. We've had hand, foot and mouth (which made me very unwell), numerous colds that always hit us way harder than her, etc.

@Starjammer

I do worry about my daughter getting it, but I worry more about myself.
I worry I will get seriously ill or die and leave my daughter.

OP posts:
lughnasadh · 22/08/2021 18:36

There's a reasonable chance you've already had covid without even realising it.

Even if you were to catch it, the overwhelming odds are that you'd be just fine.

Giving birth probably carried more risk to your health.

somuchcoffeeneeded · 22/08/2021 18:39

I’ve had a lockdown baby and feel the same. I wish masks had stayed a bit longer after everything opened up.

MRex · 22/08/2021 18:42

@BucksStar - that's a great start. As above, wear an FFP2 mask yourself if it helps reduce your nerves. You'll quickly start enjoying yourself and that's an important step.

emmag1925 · 22/08/2021 18:42

I thinks it's actually quite common to worry about your own mortality after just becoming a new Mum.

However, it may be worth discussing things with a health professional to see if it's unusual for this to have gone on for so long.

Best Wishes x

Scottishgirl85 · 22/08/2021 18:44

This is so sad to read Flowers
Why do you fear covid over other (and bigger) risks that have always been there - car accidents, cancer etc?
You must know your thoughts are not rational x

lannistunut · 22/08/2021 18:46

You must know your thoughts are not rational Of course - that is why the OP posted, if what the OP was feeling was rational, there would be no conflict.

ApolloandDaphne · 22/08/2021 18:49

@somuchcoffeeneeded

I’ve had a lockdown baby and feel the same. I wish masks had stayed a bit longer after everything opened up.
You can still wear a mask. Plenty of people still do.
Original poster
BucksStar · 22/08/2021 18:53

@Scottishgirl85

This is so sad to read Flowers Why do you fear covid over other (and bigger) risks that have always been there - car accidents, cancer etc? You must know your thoughts are not rational x
@Scottishgirl85

I’m not really sure. I think it has something
to do with the timing of the pandemic and having a baby.
Being isolated from friends and family just made it feel so frightening and serious.

I’ve never really thought much about risks before.

The sad reality is I’ve learned to become a mum whilst living In a pandemic and now I don’t know how to be a mum in “normal” times.

OP posts:
salooone · 22/08/2021 18:54

Group classes are really not neccessary for child development at 18 months! There's a reason most children don't go to nursery until 2 or 3 years.
As long as you're both getting outdoors. Small outdoor play parks provide opportunity to be around other kids and might feel safer for you at the moment. Meeting outdoors with friends with kids or family/cousins etc is more than enough social interaction for a young toddler.
Lots of children find group classes overwhelming and you just end up with loads of crying toddlers.

Don't feel forced to do something your not happy about just because Boris says so. Cases where I am are very high at the moment and whilst I'm not really bothered about covid I have vulnerable family members so am being sensible. Ie. No indoor group gatherings. I was happily doing this when cases were extremely low and have worked out of the home throughout but I'm just using my common sense.

Snowwhite78 · 22/08/2021 19:01

Could this be PND channeled towards COVID? I had post natal depression after DS and my anxiety was like yours. So extreme I wouldn't take him to a zoo as I was deadly convinced a tiger would escape and eat him! And i felt like I was surrounded by danger all the time..

Original poster
BucksStar · 22/08/2021 19:05

@Snowwhite78

Could this be PND channeled towards COVID? I had post natal depression after DS and my anxiety was like yours. So extreme I wouldn't take him to a zoo as I was deadly convinced a tiger would escape and eat him! And i felt like I was surrounded by danger all the time..
@Snowwhite78

I have these worries too, I worry all the time
about her eating, sleeping, us being in the car.
It’s very overwhelming.

OP posts:
strugglingmummy2021 · 22/08/2021 19:11

@BucksStar I could have written your post, word for word. I had a baby at exactly the same time as you too. First baby too. I struggle a lot and I have had extensive counselling, which hasn't helped much.

The media and actually Mumsnet is a huge trigger for me. I actually feel really happy when I see people going about their business and putting treating the COVID risk rationally. I have also become more concerned about all kinds of cancers and health risks in general. It's living hell really, most days. I have no outlet, other than comforting myself with food. It's a sorry state of affairs.

In any case, I just want you to know that you're not alone. My counsellor said she is speaking to so many mums that are struggling with it. She also said that it's a completely normal response in some people after what we've been through and the way we've been bombarded with horrible COVID news and COVID deaths for almost two years. So, it's not surprising to react to it this way. Get yourself to the GP. But you're not weird and you're NOT alone !