Finding that freedom is actually causing more isolation?

[Missfelipe]

I’ve always been in the camp of wanting restrictions to be eased. We live far from family and found the never ending lockdowns and living in the North West under longer restrictions really tough. It really took a toll on my mental health.

However now that the restrictions have eased and we can do all those things we missed I’m finding that we are spending more time restricting contact to avoid missing out. We have a number of big family events we will be travelling to and are terrified we will miss out and not be able to see everyone, especially if there are restrictions going into autumn/winter.

The result is we aren’t really seeing friends close by or going into the office which we are now allowed to do and which we had really benefited from.

Does anyone else find this? I’m now really struggling again and I don’t know what to do to make it better.

Risk management used to a sensible adult thing to do that was part of life. Check your car before a long journey. If bad weather and deep snow is forecast - be prepared. If foot and mouth or DV is prevalent in a nursery setting maybe don't send DC in before visiting granny in her nursing home. Be prepared and manage risk.

But now risk has been narrowed so that only hospitalisation, life threatening illness or death are a legitimate reason to mitigate or manage risk.

We are only facing this dilemma because of high levels of circulating infection. Some people seem to think that vaccination renders immunity from infection and transmission. That is a failure of communication. Perhaps deliberate. On a personal rather than government level, risk assessment is not just about hospital capacity. Or do you just check your car before a long journey if you are not sure of ICU capacity?

I think OP is just being sensible in given circumstances. Telling her to crack on and live life without restrictions to liberty and freedom is ideological.

As an aside as an undergraduate a housemate who had just returned from a poll tax demo declared 'can't pay, won't pay' also applied to rent and bills. He was only 20 though so his immature mindset was somewhat understandable and he was quickly disabused of his view by housemates who weren't prepared to pay the price of his 'freedom'.

@QueenofKattegat

Lucky you that you don’t have to leave the house to earn a living. All the people providing you with things you need to stay at home don’t have that choice

Exactly. Outsource the "risk" to someone else and sit at home comfy and feeling "safe" and spouting all over MN. That will be my main takeaway from this whole thing.

Incorrect. By staying at home we are reducing the risk for key workers by limiting their pool of potential contacts.

That's the whole bloody point of restrictions in the first place.

I get you. As a teacher, but with frail elderly parents who live at significant distance (and though vaccinated are old enough for their response to be sub-optimal) my calendar since the pandemic began has been dominated by ‘when is it possible to see my parents without bringing unacceptable risk to them, and without breaking Covid rules either where I live or where they do?’

‘Short’ breaks - half terms - are just about possible for visits for the final weekend. Longer breaks have to be carefully chunked into ‘reasonable gap of very limited contacts for any exposure in school to have waned or become evident’; ‘ok time to visit’;’time when I can associate socially with others’.

Obviously in an emergency the risk / benefit balance would be different, but for routine visits I have to balance the risk I bring from my employment and any social events with the benefit to my parents if an in-person visit that has to be overnight.

Incorrect. By staying at home we are reducing the risk for key workers by limiting their pool of potential contacts

I mean, you can tell yourself you’re doing it to protect others, but your posts over the past 19 months have shown it’s yourself you want to protect.

You’d only miss events if you test

Most people I know won’t bother testing anymore

@NannyAndJohn keep telling yourself that. I work in a factory and I currently have Covid, so you staying home made naff all difference to me. Stop playing the martyr, it's boring now.

I get it OP kinda. We are getting married next week & we’ve been semi-isolating for the last few days to try avoid any covid disasters 😬 we are still going out with the kids, to the park, country parks, the kids are playing out with our neighbours etc but we aren’t going shopping, to cafes, softplay etc! And we are lucky enough to WFH.

But before the wedding I didn’t feel like that & I won’t afterwards either. Last month, we were all hit with norovirus & I had to cancel my hen do & various other plans. It was really shit but life happens. And it did pre-covid. I missed my best friends wedding cos I was in hospital with a kidney infection 😭

But I do get it if you’ve not seen family for a while etc. No harm in being cautious. But I wouldn’t go wild. It’s still OK to do stuff, just avoid big crowds or being indoors for too long maybe 10 days or so before the event you are looking forwards too!

By staying at home we are reducing the risk for key workers by limiting their pool of potential contacts

You're really not, @NannyAndJohn.

The people who pack your online orders in busy, unventilated warehouses where it's impossible to SD and the delivery drivers who have to go to hundreds of homes a day aren't having their risk reduced by you refusing to nip to the shop.

Unless you're CEV/unable to be vaccinated, stop passing on the risk to those in poorly paid precarious work. If you're vaccinated and healthy, it's pretty despicable to do so - particularly while pontificating about risk and rising cases on here.

*Incorrect. By staying at home we are reducing the risk for key workers by limiting their pool of potential contacts.

That's the whole bloody point of restrictions in the first place.*

Yeah,OK....

I get it OP.

I get you, OP. I pulled out of a family gathering because I didn't want DD to pick anything up and miss her first day back at school (Scotland). It was important to her and I didn't want her to miss out again. The last few weeks before summer were so chaotic with isolations and closures. I just wanted her to enjoy the special day.

The people who pack your online orders in busy, unventilated warehouses where it's impossible to SD and the delivery drivers who have to go to hundreds of homes a day aren't having their risk reduced by you refusing to nip to the shop.
I agree that working in an unventilated warehouse is high risk, but surely making deliveries isn't that high risk, given how brief any encounters will be with those taking deliveries.

I have been careful throughout and always followed the rules. We have been limiting who we see because we have plans when DH is off on the last 2 weeks of the summer hols.

All for nothing as my DD who is 18 brought it home and I have caught it. Plans for our trips out with our younger kids are now cancelled or hanging in the balance.

I am now fed up seeing all my friends on SM enjoying themselves. I think I preferred it when it was lockdown and we weren't missing anything because no one was doing anything and people were arranging zoom nights.

We are never getting rid of covid. It's going to circulate now, maybe forever, just like other viruses flu etc.

I honestly don't know what people like you OP and NannyandJohn are actually waiting for?

But knock yourselves out, it makes no difference to me. Meanwhile, in real life....

People like @NannyAndJohn will have fuck all to do when this is over.

I don’t think I’ve ever read a Covid thread that they weren’t on, filling us all with endless doom.

@Hellotoallmyfans

We are never getting rid of covid. It's going to circulate now, maybe forever, just like other viruses flu etc.

I honestly don't know what people like you OP and NannyandJohn are actually waiting for?

But knock yourselves out, it makes no difference to me. Meanwhile, in real life....

Erm waiting to see our families who we haven’t seen since June 2019. My father who was in hospital for months with a heart condition. Our in laws who have been stuck on the other side of the world as well. Family babies who have been born in lockdown.

If you can’t see why I might want to restrict contact so we can definitely not miss out seeing our loved ones then I really can’t help your ignorance and stupidity.

@Snaffletrousers - surely you cannot wish for lockdown?! All because you are having to isolate for a couple weeks while getting over covid? I mean, I was gutted to miss much hen do. My friends couldn’t cancel as it was too late so I watched them having a lovely time on social media. But at no point did I think, god I wish we were locked down again so they couldn’t go! God no. I’m glad they had a lovely day at the spa! If I was cross with anyone, it was my kids for bringing home the nursery sick bug 😂

You’ve had it now. If you are also vaccinated then you’ll be very unlikely to get it again anytime soon. Go join your friends I’m enjoying life 🙌🏼☺️

@Snaffletrousers

I have been careful throughout and always followed the rules. We have been limiting who we see because we have plans when DH is off on the last 2 weeks of the summer hols.

All for nothing as my DD who is 18 brought it home and I have caught it. Plans for our trips out with our younger kids are now cancelled or hanging in the balance.

I am now fed up seeing all my friends on SM enjoying themselves. I think I preferred it when it was lockdown and we weren't missing anything because no one was doing anything and people were arranging zoom nights.

Ah so because you can’t do something you’d rather no one can? That’s the sort of thing my 5 year old says.

@Snaffletrousers

I have been careful throughout and always followed the rules. We have been limiting who we see because we have plans when DH is off on the last 2 weeks of the summer hols.

All for nothing as my DD who is 18 brought it home and I have caught it. Plans for our trips out with our younger kids are now cancelled or hanging in the balance.

I am now fed up seeing all my friends on SM enjoying themselves. I think I preferred it when it was lockdown and we weren't missing anything because no one was doing anything and people were arranging zoom nights.

How ridiculous and petty. I currently have Covid and I had booked 4 days off work to spend some time with my 8 year old. I was also supposed to go to a friend's birthday meal this weekend. So that's gone out the window.

Get a grip on yourself, you only have to stay home for 10 days and then you will likely be immune to Covid for a while so won't have to worry about getting it again.

Well a few years ago I was floored by the flu and couldn't leave the house for two weeks.

By comparison, covid might very well be easier to deal with (and I'd potentially be stuck at home for less time) especially as I have had the vaccine - which I didn't have for flu. 🤷🏻‍♀️

I didn't live my life in fear then, and I won't live my life in fear now. I feel sorry for people who are second guessing their every move.

I am now fed up seeing all my friends on SM enjoying themselves.

Nice friend you are @Snaffletrousers! 😂

We're careful here anyway, and all our friends and family want to meet outside. We're very lucky that we've been able to book three mini breaks, but we've avoided cafes/pubs before as we really want to go away.

I guess for some going to big family occasions, it isn't just the risk of not being able to go, they care about their families and want to reduce the risk of passing Covid on.

I guess for some going to big family occasions, it isn't just the risk of not being able to go, they care about their families and want to reduce the risk of passing Covid on.

The point I was trying to make is that this would have also been the case for any illness in the past. You wouldn't have turned up to a wedding with flu or chicken pox would you? Only people didn't over think it before!

The point I was trying to make is that this would have also been the case for any illness in the past. You wouldn't have turned up to a wedding with flu or chicken pox would you? Only people didn't over think it before!

Exactly. I missed a close family wedding in France in 2019 because I had norovirus. I was absolutely gutted.

We practically self isolated before we went away week in Devon July as knew our mental health would suffer if we had to cancel.

We have done less since freedom day and some restrictions lifted .
We only had 2nd jabs couple weeks back and we are in ours 40s and kept to 12 week gap.

Wemt went out to eat midweek lunch at very quiet restaurant outside.
On holiday we did nearly all outdoor things so fish and chips on the beach, meal in pub beer garden, theme park, kids went horse riding and lodge had hot tub.
Other than husband going to work retail where he's still wearing mask.
Also supermarket and some non essential shops keeping any indoors things to minimum.
We do intend to see family next weeks 1st time kids seen grandparent's since last year.
So being cautious and will be lft testing before we go as travelling to lower covid area than we live.

But schools a real worry will have 4 in sept
1 in nursery school plus ballet class
2 in senior school
1 in primary do 3 different education settings.

Eldest is 15 ashamtic and wants the jab but can't.
I forsee massive rise in sept so aiming meet up family and freinds now.
Start September will do big shop and plan hibernate sept other than dog walks and school runs.
I still wear masks in shops.
I try keep my distance and go quiet places.

None of us to our knowledgeable 6 of us ever had covid and as much as its nice to do stuff and have more freedom I really don't want covid.