Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Covid

Mumsnet doesn't verify the qualifications of users. If you have medical concerns, please consult a healthcare professional.

Original poster

My husband is an anti-vaxxer

45 replies

Whatwouldyoudo2021 · 05/08/2021 18:02

Hi all,

Please could anyone help?

My husband is an anti vaxxer and I’m scared for him. We have been together for over 10 years and he’s 34, I work in a large hotel company and see 1000’s of people each week, he works on his own as a tradesman. I am terrified that I will bring covid home from work. We have a 15 month old baby and my biggest fear is that my husband will die from covid and leave us behind.

Is there any information I can give him to encourage him to get the vaccine? I know I can’t force him but it’s really becoming an issue in our relationship, we can’t even talk about covid without getting into an argument. I just can’t believe he wouldn’t try to protect himself now he’s a dad?

His family is very keen in to alternative medicine, natural remedies etc, my mother in law has also not had the vaccine. It doesn’t help that we don’t know anyone personally to have had covid let alone be seriously affected by it. I’ve told him about the people in icu are young and unvaccinated.

Any help to reassure me would be great! Please and thank you!

OP posts:
lljkk · 05/08/2021 18:15

Is he clinically vulnerable, or obese?

Few 34yo men are likely to become very ill much less die from C19.

Haffiana · 05/08/2021 18:17

Just be careful that you don't catch The Cult from him.

Original poster
Whatwouldyoudo2021 · 05/08/2021 18:24

Thank you! Some reassurance is just what I needed!

He’s not obese or clinically vulnerable,

OP posts:
RoseAddict · 05/08/2021 18:44

You can look up risk on the Q calculator. When I looked mine up it was the same as the risk for AZ blood clots when they first said it was 1 in a million. Then it turned out the risk for AZ to women was considerably higher than that. I think it’s fine for your DH to decide for himself.

Flowerlane · 05/08/2021 19:28

@RoseAddict

You can look up risk on the Q calculator. When I looked mine up it was the same as the risk for AZ blood clots when they first said it was 1 in a million. Then it turned out the risk for AZ to women was considerably higher than that. I think it’s fine for your DH to decide for himself.
Thank you, I never knew about this calculator!
FionaShrewsbury · 06/08/2021 00:07

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

sleepwouldbenice · 06/08/2021 00:28

Risk of dying low
But long covid?
But helping to reduce transmission to others?
But helping to move this country on, and out of this?
Do these issues really not come into people's thoughts?
Are they really that self absorbed?
Seems so....

FionaShrewsbury · 06/08/2021 00:30

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

PieceOfString · 06/08/2021 00:37

Don't let it come between you op. My dh isn't vaccinated yet which wouldn't be my choice (I am) but his reasons are not idiocy, he has valid concerns, and I think everyone should be able to choose for themselves, because the day we live in a society that forces medical procedures on people will be a sad day, so though we've discussed it I'm not going to try to coerce him into it.
Try not to get the risk out of perspective, the odds are very high it wouldn't affect him badly.

Wellbythebloodyhell · 06/08/2021 00:45

My dh has not had the vaccine and has no intention ever of having it. I've had mine. We don't argue about it, he's perfectly able to make his own decisions, as am I, we respect each others decisions even though they are different. I do not worry in the slightest he (or i) is going to die from covid. 1 vaccine does not define our relationship nor should it yours.

FionaShrewsbury · 06/08/2021 00:53

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

toocold54 · 06/08/2021 01:08

I am pro-vaxx and I’ll give people the facts and admit I happily have them but I never try and encourage someone too much (that’s for the anti-vaxxers) as it is their body and their decision at the end of the day.

If something were to happen to someone after I’d told them to get the vaccination then I’d feel guilty that it was because I made them do it.

Obviously there are a lot of stories about loved ones who’s lost someone to covid and asking that everyone get vaccinated which can be distressing but it should still be up to that person.

Aquamarine1029 · 06/08/2021 01:33

Get good life insurance for the both of you, which you should have regardless of covid, and let it go. Your husband is allowed to make his own choices and there are countless ways he could die aside from covid.

Unanananana · 06/08/2021 06:38

He can make his own choices. If he is buried in YouTube conspiracy theory or ranting about microchips and sheeple, consider your relationship carefully. I couldn't live with that.

Are you vaccinated? Has your DD had her standard choldhood vaccinations? If its just covid jab he is against (minus the ranting) get some life insurance and let him get on with it.

Crowsaregreat · 06/08/2021 06:49

Get life insurance and cover for debilitating illness that reduces earning power.

Tbh I'd struggle to believe he could make sound choices about other areas of your child's life. It's ultimately individual choice whether to take the vaccine but only an idiot would choose not to. Is he going to veto vaccines for your child?

SpringRainbow · 06/08/2021 06:54

You can’t make or force him, you should both respect each other’s opinions.

You made your choice, he has made his choice. That should really be the end of the matter.

Just agree to disagree.

Amboseli · 06/08/2021 07:10

Agree with pp, take out good life insurance including critical illness cover. It's all you can do.

Hekatestorch · 06/08/2021 07:14

Is he just choosing not to have the vaccine. Or an avud anti vaxer?

Because they can be 2 different things. The second would concern me at this point, far more than the first.

I wouldn't be overly worried about the risk of him dying from covid. At his age.

Crowsaregreat · 06/08/2021 07:16

@SpringRainbow

You can’t make or force him, you should both respect each other’s opinions.

You made your choice, he has made his choice. That should really be the end of the matter.

Just agree to disagree.

I disagree, sometimes people have opinions that are not worthy of respect. He's wilfully taking on increased risk of death or long term illness based on his inability to judge information sources. He has a right to do that, OP has a right to judge him based on his choice.
Hekatestorch · 06/08/2021 07:21

The posts here have made me think.

Has the covid vaccine, or lack or, impacted life insurance at all?

So if you are insured and choose not to have the vaccine, then die of covid, would you still be covered?

MichelleScarn · 06/08/2021 07:24

Did he try and stop your dc from having any of their inoculations? Or have they not had them? What did the hv say about it?

Sugarandtime · 06/08/2021 07:29

If he has had other vaccinations then why would you call him an Antivaxxer?

Don’t be dragged into name calling, it’s a nasty thing to do and those that do it are simply adding to this awful divide in society,

You have both made your choices and should have enough respect for each other to accept them.

Sugarandtime · 06/08/2021 07:34

@Hekatestorch
I know that my medical insurance and many others don’t cover for things as a result of adverse reactions to the COVID injections.
I wonder if some life insurance could be similar

nordica · 06/08/2021 07:45

The risk of death is low at his age but other long term complications are a real risk. I know of a couple of people in their 20s and 40s who had covid last year and now have permanent organ damage; one has lung damage and the other kidney damage.

As he is a tradesman and has a physical job, it's certainly something for him to think about - how would life change if he was not capable of doing his work any longer?

WanderingFruitWonderer · 06/08/2021 07:47

It wouldn't bother me personally in the least. It would bother me far more if he was a smoker. I categorically couldn't live with a smoker. But, I guess that's the thing, we all have different boundaries and limits of what we can and can't accept. So, I guess we all have to make our own moral judgements about things. Vive la difference...

Swipe left for the next trending thread