DS won't isolate

[dorothysredshoe]

Youngest DS has covid so the rest of the house obviously has to isolate. Older DS is 20 and refusing - just going about life as normal and clearly doesn't give a shit. WWYD? He claims he never sees younger DS (largely true as they don't get on, but we have a small house and everyone shares the bathroom)

I'd take his keys and tell him to find somewhere else to stay if he can't follow your house rules. Certainly would not cook ro do washing for
The fact you have vulnerable family makes his behaviour worse.
I got kicked out for not doing French A Level - now that was harsh. Keeping others safe during a pandemic is so basic on humanity and caring for others... and he doesn't care.

He's 20. He can find place to stay for himself if he doesn't want to listen to you and don't follow your rules?

[quote DoucheCanoe]@User135644 I'm all for tough love but what exactly do you expect OP to do?

You can report but no one does anything and if you kick him out he's mingling amongst other people in hotels, families of friends and/or the homeless community who are already massively disadvantaged in the pandemic (and beforehand).[/quote]
All discipline has gone out of this country. The youth feel untouchable.

All discipline has gone out of this country. The youth feel untouchable.

He's a 20 year old man, do you suggest I put him over my knee and spank him?

My mom threw me out at 18 she found a bedsit put a deposit on it and handed me the key didnt even give me a lift she kindly let me take a towel and a couple of tea towels and leant me her suitcase to use

Adults these days spend a lot longer in the childlike state of "shan't" and "you cant make me"

Give his name to track and trace let him throw a mantrum at them over it

You could lock the door after him and tell him he can come back in 10 days? If he's a grown up let him be grown up and sort some temporary accommodation.

Is he working?

@dorothysredshoe

All discipline has gone out of this country. The youth feel untouchable.

He's a 20 year old man, do you suggest I put him over my knee and spank him?

If you can't reason with him you need to report him or throw him out.

@Theunamedcat, I was out at 16 (early 2000's so not normal in the slightest) - no deposits or bedsits for me!

I managed to blag a space in my boyfriend's Mums house and get myself on the council homeless list but that was it.

Again, I'm not sure how someone can house hunt in an isolated fashion?! We moved house during lockdown 1 and had to involve 2 others as an absolute minimum.

As the adult with covid I took legal responsibility for making dh (and the dc but they are underage and so are my responsibility) isolate.
Not sure what the consequences would be for me if dh didn't isolate - assuming I would bear the fine. I'm guessing this is ops situation?

Not much you can do. I don't blame him though, not like the government is leading by example is it. I wouldn't kick him out over it but I would expect him to do a lot more cleaning.

I would be packing a bag, leaving it outside the door, locking to door so he can’t get in and telling him to find somewhere else to stay

If he tells the truth, ie his sibling has covid he may then understand when people say he can’t stay with them

I wouldn't be happy but the rules are changing mid august and if he was under 18 he could just get on with life as normal then.
I know he isn't under 18 but I don't see the difference personally.
If he was in government he could also do what he wants.
As pp ask him to do lateral flow tests.

I literally can't understand the rage in this thread

Do test and trace have his mobile number? If you haven't given the details yet give the landline number. When they phone for daily checks tell them he's out. See what happens then. This relies on you actually having a landline and your local contact tracing team doing daily checks.

I wouldn't make it an issue.

He's healthy and no symptoms? Leave him

I’d make him go and stay somewhere else for the period if he won’t isolate with the rest of you

We have just had to isolate, our 21year old said he didn't want to isolate. We told him if he could find someone else to stay with, he could do what he wanted. But as it was, there were good reasons for us isolating, spelled out a few of them to him. Then asked what he wanted to do. Reluctantly he isolated.

@tarapinn

Moving out to where?

To wherever he chooses to live. If he doesn't want to follow the OP's rules regarding this he can sort himself out. If he can't afford to (or won't pay for accommodation) he should isolate.

I would order a pack of lateral flow tests and ask him to test himself daily.

That will be the situation from next month anyway.

You could explain that the risk is not just that he may have caught Covid direct from hi brother, but that there's a high risk of his brother passing it to other household members and your older DS then catching it from them. You could ask him how he will feel if by mixing he passes Covid to someone with a vulnerable household member. But if he really doesn't care about others, those arguments will cut no ice.
If you provide him with any financial support, you can make clear that such financial support will stop if he doesn't keep to the self-isolation rules.