Moving back now to UK from Aus - are we mad?

[Beautifulthief]

Hi Mums,

I would really appreciate your help to get some perspective on our decision to move back home to time UK after being overseas for 17 years. We left NZ last year, when we lost our jobs to C and returned back to Australia where my husband is from. I pushed to return to his home town, which is lovely and on the beach, but hubbie was very much against due to nightmare wife and husband of his parents who are divorced. We have struggled with drama after drama with his family ( 'I told you so' comes to mind ) and it has been harder than we anticipated to get his new business off the ground. Our daughter who is 7 is struggling to make friends - people here tend to have been hete their whole lives, so we are a bit of an anomaly. It has left us seriously wondering, maybe it is just time to come back to the UK. I miss my family dearly and if there is one thing Covid has taught us is how fragile life is. My Dad turns 80 next year and I feel this pull to be back around my family during my parents' twilight hears. My husband is all for it...

My main concern is whether the UK is still a good place to be after all the battering from Covid and lockdown. Some Aussie friends in London said everyone is very down and tired ( unsurprisingly). But I appreciate that is a micro view. Is there a sense of now getting back to some normality though? We are a little bit sheltered here from it all... We are hoping to move close to Bath. I only see the UK, my old home, 'hurting' from reading the papers. Is it still a good place to be?

Thank you SO much Mums. Any thoughts would be much appreciated.

It’s certainly not Mad Max here but our outlook isn’t exactly ‘bright’ at the moment, normality is still some distance away although as I said it’s not apocalyptic. I would consider sticking it out another year in Oz, your lives don’t appear to be too affected by Covid at the moment, obviously that could change in the future with Delta slowly seeding itself over there.

I’m sure others will offer their opinions, I’d be making the most of having free access to beaches and great weather even though I realise it’s not all about that. Also consider the school situation for your DD, she would experience a significant shift in the school environment with masks, distancing and restrictions, I wouldn’t deliberately walk into that life if I had a choice.

Any chance we can trade? I'd move back to Australia any day.

The department of education has recently sent out info to school telling them to prepare for another lockdown. No one knows if they are just late of the block for the last two academic years or if they think it’s a realistic possible for autumn 2021. Masks were compulsory in secondary school (aged 11 yrs +) but are not at the moment and have never been in primary schools among pupils.

The grass isn't always greener. They said it depends on where you are looking at living and your attitude to life. There's staff wanted signs everywhere for instance but not for career type jobs. You need to be willing to give it time to settle in too - took me at least 2 years when I moved. I don't think you are mad, but you need to do lots of research and be realistic about how long it takes to settle in a place and work opportunities. Best of luck.

With Australia as big as Europe, why don't you move somewhere else in Aus, and away from his parents???

Your dd is 7...the school experience in primary is not very different to pre covid these days! I would say for the younger ones, life is almost normal. There is no distancing needed in any of their school or extracurricular bubbles (year group, dance, swimming etc.). The only time my 5 year old has had to wear a mask was on a visit to the zoo! The teachers don't wear masks with them.

As an Australian living in the UK I have of course been jealous of family members living an almost normal life and I'm desperate to see my family again but know it could be another year or two. The way I see it is Australia did fantastically with phase 1 of the pandemic but are botching phase 2. It's a vicious circle as far as I can tell, people don't feel personal threat from the virus so there's no impetus to get vaccinated, but without mass vaccination the country can't open up again. With next year being an election year I can't see any changes on the border anytime soon. Given the ages of your parents I would say come back here and spend those precious years and get some lovely memories for your DD who will be old enough now to remember. We are likely to have a bumpy autumn and winter here but Australia will have to face its own covid reckoning at some point too (hopefully once a large amount of the population are vaccinated) so I don't think it's going to continue to be the utopia it's been seen as for the last 15 months.

I’d say if you’re going to do it, do it now as your daughter has already been moved from one country to another, so just do the other move before she makes firm friends in aus. Just my opinion after being disrupted a lot at that age. My son is 6 and school is normal for him (not that we knew it pre-covid!), he’s doing his ice skating and swimming lessons as normal, play dates etc. We’ve just got back from a weekend seeing family and have 3 UK breaks to look forward to this summer. Definitely not bleak from a personal view.

The elderly parents would trump everything else for me. I don’t think people here are particularly more miserable than usual, I’m not sure your husband would find it easier to set up business here. Brexit hasn’t been great for many businesses. Some sectors are booming though

You are not mad and I would certainly do it in your shoes with elderly parents.

I'm not sure if I would. I'm a kiwi in the UK. I've seen so many businesses fail and people lose jobs during the pandemic. I'm not sure I would choose the UK over the OZ or NZ right now to be honest. Would it be getter to go back to NZ for the family distance? I do understand how tricky it can be with jobs in NZ - the volume is low and therefore, opportunity, can be hard to find.

Keep as far away from this damp, miserable island full of Tories as you can.

I certainly feel very numb and tired. I'm usually good in terms of mental state but the pandemic has been really hard.

Thanks so much guys. I really appreciate your thoughts. It seems somewhat crazy to even be thinking about leaving a fairly Covid free existence to a country that has been ravaged by its effects. It is hard to watch from afar.

Moving back 'home' is such a complex decision. A decision that we have toyed with over the years and it is a little bit now or never. And absolutely @Kingstonmumof1 I believe Australia is royally snookered going forward and we aren't careful we will be left behind when the whole world is opening up Too much fear mongering about vaccine dangers from the 'press' and no availability if you do want it. It is an absolute shambles but if course, yes, there is no threat here so nonchalance is rife.

By the time we get our vaccine and ourselves sorted, we would to leave March 2022. We are hoping this might make a difference, with a few more months under our belt and the world opening up

Sigh, it is such a hard decision. @Eleoura we have absolutely toyed with moving elsewhere in Aus - trust me it has consumed me. But I just feel once we move, we are still missing the opportunity of being with my lovely family again.

With elderly parents I’d say come back to the UK. You can always move again if it’s not right, but you might find they need you more than they let on.

My sibling is in Australia and I’d love for them to come back and share some time with my parents. This past couple of years has been so hard.

If hubby is up for it I don't see why you wouldn't. Good luck whatever you decide!

@Fitforforty

The department of education has recently sent out info to school telling them to prepare for another lockdown. No one knows if they are just late of the block for the last two academic years or if they think it’s a realistic possible for autumn 2021. Masks were compulsory in secondary school (aged 11 yrs +) but are not at the moment and have never been in primary schools among pupils.

Really? Not being funny I'm being sincere, has this really happened?

Some Aussie friends in London said everyone is very down and tired ( unsurprisingly).

I live in London and that’s not my experience at all. People are generally optimistic and upbeat in all the local businesses I frequent, and people out and about are friendly and polite.

Then again I would hate to live in Australia - it’s much too far away from my family and I love the UK!

I came back and my pull was elderly parents. I really didn’t settle in WA and found it a struggle. My dds were young. Dd2 was 3mo when we moved there, so they don’t remember much.
You sound unsettled with all your dhs family around.
Either try elsewhere in Oz or move back to the UK. You have options, though you will need to settle for something as dd is 7. It’s ok when they’re young, but older and as soon as they make friends they have to move on again.

@SirenSays

Any chance we can trade? I'd move back to Australia any day.

Me too. Things are economically tough for lots of people here, we have a Government that alternates between being inept or corrupt, and we are yet to feel the true impact of Brexit. On top of that, house prices are ludicrous. Given the chance, I would leave tomorrow.

I think you should come back and get settled before high school for your daughter.

We live only once , whatever you want it just do it. It will be amazing for your daughter to experience different lifestyle. What's the worst can happen , if things did not work , you can always move back in.
Life is journey and it's not always have to be perfect. You will make wonderful memories along the way . Good luck !

@RoseRedRoseBlue apart from brexit those things are also true about Australia! There is also an impact in Aus with the border being shut, most office staff still wfh so city centres being very quiet, places having snap lockdowns, state borders shutting and keeping families apart. Its really not all roses there (yes I know tonnes better than here in general but not if your business is for eg a Chinese supermarket or a city centre cafe).

@Fitforforty where's your proof of this!?

People experience stuff in completely different ways. I'm moving back to London after 10 years away and can't wait. On a recent visit it was buzzy and full of life.
One thing is you will still be starting over- your friends will have moved on.
I'm not sure I would make the move solely because of elderly parents. You have to make the move for yourselves.